Man. Pixar. They come out with a new film virtually every year and every year they hit it out of the park (even with the not-as-great-as-most Cars). However, most Pixar films not only do well because of the cutting-edge animation and great storytelling, but because of the stars that voice the characters. This year, however, there are no star studded voice actors. Unless you count Jeff Garlin (who you wouldn't know unless you are a fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm), John Ratzenberger (who Pixar has in every movie), Fred Willard (that sorta funny guy that you always seem to recognize but have no idea from where), and brief lines from Sigourney Weaver(okay, she's a legit star), then there are no stars in this movie. The character of WALL-E even looks like Johnny 5 from the Short Circuit films. With those hindrances, can the film live up to Pixar's stellar reputation?
WALL-E lives up. Surpasses. Enters a new galaxy.
WALL-E is a story about a Waste Allocation Load Lifter- Earth class or WALL-E. WALL-E's task is to clean up an abandoned Earth that has been stockpiled with garbage. Earth's denizens have apparently left on a giant spaceship brought to you by the corporate juggernaut Buy N' Large, leaving WALL-E to clean up Earth until it is hospitable for humans to return and live upon. While WALL-E performs his designed task, he curiously explores and collects various items of interest along with a pet cockroach. When a spaceship lands on Earth, WALL-E is introduced to another robot named EVE, however her directives are classified. Smitten, WALL-E tries to woo EVE into holding hands...er, claws...er, clamps. Anyway, that's when the story really gets going and EVE's purpose is revealed.
The animation in WALL-E is fantastic. The character models are distorted and "cartoony" but it looks like every shadow, every speck of dirt, every hair, and every freckle is real. The art direction is fantastic and every little nuance adds to the film. You know you are doing a good job making your characters emote when most of the cast consists of ROBOTS.
The film has very, very little dialogue however there is never a moment in which you are lost or confused in following the story or the characters' motivations. The story is a fantastic Disney tale with a little bit of social commentary regarding the environment and consumerism culture that doesn't come off as too preachy (hypocritically though, six months from now this movie will be sold at Walmart alongside WALL-E t-shirts and action figures). As with Christopher Reeves making you believe a man can fly in Superman, WALL-E makes you believe a robot can love.
I cannot recommend this movie enough. As of this writing, I consider WALL-E to be the best movie of 2008. Not best animated. Not best summer flick. BEST FILM.
So watch it. Get off the computer and watch it. It's worth the money. Oh, you don't like animated movies? Get over it. Watch it. Ashamed to watch a "kid's movie" at your age? Go with your niece/nephew. Take your friend's kid (he/she would probably thank you for two child-free hours). Sit next to a six year old, I don't care. Just do yourself a favor and go.
Go!
GO!!!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Barnes at the Movies: Wanted
I went to see the movie Wanted just because I was a fan of the graphic novel. I knew like many movies that it was only loosely based off the source material, but I wanted to see the cinema spin on the story.
Wanted follows Wesley Gibson (The Last King of Scotland's James McAvoy), a twenty-something cubicle dweller that hates his job, his boss, and life in general. Wesley's emasculating girlfriend is also screwing his best friend and Wesley practically lives off his anti-anxiety medication. All that changes when he finds out that he is the son of a great assassin.
Wesley is recruited in the Fraternity, a league of noble assassins that have been in existence for over 1,000 years, through his father's colleagues, Fox (Angelina Jolie) and the head of the Fraternity, Sloan (Morgan Freeman). The Fraternity picks up Wesley and trains him in the deadly arts, including the supernatural-Matrix-esque bullet curving. The Fraternity wishes that Wesley take the mantle of his father and take out a rogue Fraternity agent that happens to be his father's killer. Meh.
The first 20 minutes of the movie followed the graphic novel pretty well then just made up the rest as it went along. Mind you, for the sake of the review, I'm not judging the movie based off of accuracy of the book, but it is still a meh-movie. There were some cool moments in the film, but the story's plot twist wasn't really twisty, the dialogue seemed hackneyed. The special effects weren't bad, but if you have seen The Matrix then it's nothing you haven't seen before nor something you haven't seen improved upon. It attempted to be an action film with a good story, but turned into a stock R-rated action film in which characters shoot guns and say "fuck" a lot.
Angelina Jolie was one of the main selling points of this movie, but she does very little acting and seems to be hired to just look sexy while holding a gun. That and a gratuitous shot of her bare ass. James McAvoy did a decent job as the Wesley Gibson character and was the highlight of the film. Morgan Freeman was phoning it in, but Freeman phoning it in is better than most actors doing their Oscar best.
In other words, this movie isn't the worst I've ever seen, but it didn't leave any lasting impression on me positive or negative. Not good, not terrible, just...meh. The film might be Wanted, but it's gotta look for someone else to fill that void.
Wanted follows Wesley Gibson (The Last King of Scotland's James McAvoy), a twenty-something cubicle dweller that hates his job, his boss, and life in general. Wesley's emasculating girlfriend is also screwing his best friend and Wesley practically lives off his anti-anxiety medication. All that changes when he finds out that he is the son of a great assassin.
Wesley is recruited in the Fraternity, a league of noble assassins that have been in existence for over 1,000 years, through his father's colleagues, Fox (Angelina Jolie) and the head of the Fraternity, Sloan (Morgan Freeman). The Fraternity picks up Wesley and trains him in the deadly arts, including the supernatural-Matrix-esque bullet curving. The Fraternity wishes that Wesley take the mantle of his father and take out a rogue Fraternity agent that happens to be his father's killer. Meh.
The first 20 minutes of the movie followed the graphic novel pretty well then just made up the rest as it went along. Mind you, for the sake of the review, I'm not judging the movie based off of accuracy of the book, but it is still a meh-movie. There were some cool moments in the film, but the story's plot twist wasn't really twisty, the dialogue seemed hackneyed. The special effects weren't bad, but if you have seen The Matrix then it's nothing you haven't seen before nor something you haven't seen improved upon. It attempted to be an action film with a good story, but turned into a stock R-rated action film in which characters shoot guns and say "fuck" a lot.
Angelina Jolie was one of the main selling points of this movie, but she does very little acting and seems to be hired to just look sexy while holding a gun. That and a gratuitous shot of her bare ass. James McAvoy did a decent job as the Wesley Gibson character and was the highlight of the film. Morgan Freeman was phoning it in, but Freeman phoning it in is better than most actors doing their Oscar best.
In other words, this movie isn't the worst I've ever seen, but it didn't leave any lasting impression on me positive or negative. Not good, not terrible, just...meh. The film might be Wanted, but it's gotta look for someone else to fill that void.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Barnes at the Movies: Get Smart
I saw Get Smart yesterday and overall, it was an okay movie. Brief synopsis: Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) is an analyst for C.O.N.T.R.O.L. who recent passed an exam for becoming a field agent. C.O.N.T.R.O.L.'s main purpose is to thwart the evil doings of K.A.O.S., a sinister organization that has been thought dead since the 1960's. After C.O.N.T.R.O.L.'s secret headquarters have been compromised when it is believed K.A.O.S. has stolen the makings of a nuclear device, it is up to Smart and Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) to stop K.A.O.S. with the guidance of the Chief (Alan Arkin) and Agent 23 (Dwayne "Seriously, man, accept the fact you are still going to be known as The Rock" Johnson).
First, the cons of the movie. You've seen this movie before. Trust me, you have. The plot is totally predictable at every single turn. That being said, even though I have seen this movie before with a different title, it's a good movie that I remember seeing.
The jokes are funny and, in my opinion, that takes precedence over mediocre plot when it comes to comedy. Don't get me wrong, if a comedy has a great plot and great jokes then it's pure, re-watchable gold, but if the comedy's jokes suck along with a weak plot then there is no reason to see the film in the first place. Example being, did anyone watch Airplane for the story? My point stands.
Steve Carell is Michael Scott from TV's The Office as Maxwell Smart. Depending on your viewpoint, this can be a pro or a con. Those who think "pro" are intrigued at the Michael Scott character put into a secret agent position (which is eerie since the Michael Scott character lived out this fantasy in a screenplay he wrote about secret agent named Michael Scarn called Threat Level: Midnight). Those that think "con" would have liked to see Carell try a different approach or think that they could see Michael Scott for free on TV as opposed to forking money to see a flick.
With the main cons being predictability and Carell being his TV character, I wish to give a list of pros and stuff to look forward to if you do choose to see the movie:
- Dwayne "Dude, you just had a three disc DVD of your greatest wrestling matches released last week, no one is going to think of calling you anything but The Rock" Johnson's best performance since Be Cool.
- Two words, one man, too-small-of-a-role: PATRICK WARBURTON.
- Alan Arkin being the funniest wise-ass in this whole movie.
- Dalip "The Great Khali" Singh in his best performance inside or outside a wrestling ring. He gets a lot of screen time, too. Go to the movie just to donate more money to the poor children of Punjab.
- Good jokes that don't get run into the ground.
- Anne Hathaway is easy on the eyes.
and the most important "pro" in this movie...
- Bill Murray, in a cameo, from inside a tree. No, not on top of a tree. INSIDE A TREE. Awesome.
So, if you got a few bucks and a no-nothing afternoon, go to a cheap matinee. That or rent it and watch it with friends when it is released on DVD. The movie was almost a must-see, but "missed it by that much."
First, the cons of the movie. You've seen this movie before. Trust me, you have. The plot is totally predictable at every single turn. That being said, even though I have seen this movie before with a different title, it's a good movie that I remember seeing.
The jokes are funny and, in my opinion, that takes precedence over mediocre plot when it comes to comedy. Don't get me wrong, if a comedy has a great plot and great jokes then it's pure, re-watchable gold, but if the comedy's jokes suck along with a weak plot then there is no reason to see the film in the first place. Example being, did anyone watch Airplane for the story? My point stands.
Steve Carell is Michael Scott from TV's The Office as Maxwell Smart. Depending on your viewpoint, this can be a pro or a con. Those who think "pro" are intrigued at the Michael Scott character put into a secret agent position (which is eerie since the Michael Scott character lived out this fantasy in a screenplay he wrote about secret agent named Michael Scarn called Threat Level: Midnight). Those that think "con" would have liked to see Carell try a different approach or think that they could see Michael Scott for free on TV as opposed to forking money to see a flick.
With the main cons being predictability and Carell being his TV character, I wish to give a list of pros and stuff to look forward to if you do choose to see the movie:
- Dwayne "Dude, you just had a three disc DVD of your greatest wrestling matches released last week, no one is going to think of calling you anything but The Rock" Johnson's best performance since Be Cool.
- Two words, one man, too-small-of-a-role: PATRICK WARBURTON.
- Alan Arkin being the funniest wise-ass in this whole movie.
- Dalip "The Great Khali" Singh in his best performance inside or outside a wrestling ring. He gets a lot of screen time, too. Go to the movie just to donate more money to the poor children of Punjab.
- Good jokes that don't get run into the ground.
- Anne Hathaway is easy on the eyes.
and the most important "pro" in this movie...
- Bill Murray, in a cameo, from inside a tree. No, not on top of a tree. INSIDE A TREE. Awesome.
So, if you got a few bucks and a no-nothing afternoon, go to a cheap matinee. That or rent it and watch it with friends when it is released on DVD. The movie was almost a must-see, but "missed it by that much."
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Someone Please Think of the Children
High gas prices. Bad economy. The war in Iraq. These are valid issues in America, but not so much as this troubling concern .
"C" is for change. It's good enough for me.
(Side Note: Don't read too much into this. Just because I use the word "change" it doesn't mean I'm pro-Obama.)
(Additional Side Note: The previous side note doesn't mean I'm pro-McCain either.)
"C" is for change. It's good enough for me.
(Side Note: Don't read too much into this. Just because I use the word "change" it doesn't mean I'm pro-Obama.)
(Additional Side Note: The previous side note doesn't mean I'm pro-McCain either.)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Barnes at the Movies: The Incredible Apology...I Mean, Hulk
In 2003, Ang Lee and the folks at Marvel made a movie about the Hulk. Ballyhoo and whatnot followed along with bad, bad reviews. Something was wrong. Ang Lee is a great director. However, he is known for pieces with grace, love, and a little sorrow. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the Oscar-winning Brokeback Mountain are great stories that he told. He really likes depth and emotion in his characters. Which made him the worst choice for Hulk.
While I'm not about dumbing down movies, Hulk is first and foremost, a comic book character. Not just any comic character, but one that leaves destruction and fury in his wake. Hulk no cry and have arty cinematography, HULK SMASH!!! Fans of the Hulk expect some drama, but a lot of action and mayhem. Hulk had lots of drama (it oozed drama) and very little smash to it. Therefore, the film suffered and bombed.
Five years later, Marvel has made a public apology...and I accept it. The Incredible Hulk isn't so much a sequel as it is a retelling of Bruce Banner's (Edward Norton) plight. Banner was exposed to severe amounts of radiation causing him to transform into a behemoth, dubbed "The Hulk," whenever his heart rate is elevated and he is angered. This leaves Banner with little choice but to exile himself in order to run from General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt) and the military who are attempting to weaponize the beast within him while leaving behind his longtime girlfriend, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler). While in hiding, Banner attempts to find methods of curing himself while simultaneously studies meditation and anger management in order to quell the monster. In order to track down and capture Banner, General Ross is assisted by an accomplished soldier named Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) who is willing to undergo inhuman experimentation in order to be physically on-par with the Hulk.
The movie is good, but far from perfect. Liv Tyler does a decent job acting, but the Betty Ross character is portrayed more like the nail-biting, worried girlfriend than the smart doctor that she is. William Hurt is fantastic in his role of the General in what would otherwise be a cookie-cutter angry, military-first soldier. Edward Norton is perfect for Bruce Banner. Acting in Fight Club must have helped him portray this "tough bookwormy wimp" character. Tim Roth is the main villain, which is what he is best suited for in most films. No complaints there.
The film does a great job with the look of the Hulk monster. Yes, it's clearly CGI but it doesn't look like the green play-dough monster from the last movie. The animators did a great job with the facial expressions of the jade giant. The smashings, especially the final fight, were well done and reminiscent of the great monster movies. There is little drama and character development, probably shorthanding it due to the overhaul of it from the last movie, but the slow moments that were there were good and meaningful.
Is it as good as Iron Man? No. Is it high art? No and it's not supposed to be. Is it fun and make you root for Bruce Banner? Yes. So mission accomplished. Oh, and speaking of Iron Man, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) makes an appearance in the movie. I'll leave it to you to see where in the film and why. You did stay after the credits of Iron Man, didn't you?
While I'm not about dumbing down movies, Hulk is first and foremost, a comic book character. Not just any comic character, but one that leaves destruction and fury in his wake. Hulk no cry and have arty cinematography, HULK SMASH!!! Fans of the Hulk expect some drama, but a lot of action and mayhem. Hulk had lots of drama (it oozed drama) and very little smash to it. Therefore, the film suffered and bombed.
Five years later, Marvel has made a public apology...and I accept it. The Incredible Hulk isn't so much a sequel as it is a retelling of Bruce Banner's (Edward Norton) plight. Banner was exposed to severe amounts of radiation causing him to transform into a behemoth, dubbed "The Hulk," whenever his heart rate is elevated and he is angered. This leaves Banner with little choice but to exile himself in order to run from General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt) and the military who are attempting to weaponize the beast within him while leaving behind his longtime girlfriend, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler). While in hiding, Banner attempts to find methods of curing himself while simultaneously studies meditation and anger management in order to quell the monster. In order to track down and capture Banner, General Ross is assisted by an accomplished soldier named Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) who is willing to undergo inhuman experimentation in order to be physically on-par with the Hulk.
The movie is good, but far from perfect. Liv Tyler does a decent job acting, but the Betty Ross character is portrayed more like the nail-biting, worried girlfriend than the smart doctor that she is. William Hurt is fantastic in his role of the General in what would otherwise be a cookie-cutter angry, military-first soldier. Edward Norton is perfect for Bruce Banner. Acting in Fight Club must have helped him portray this "tough bookwormy wimp" character. Tim Roth is the main villain, which is what he is best suited for in most films. No complaints there.
The film does a great job with the look of the Hulk monster. Yes, it's clearly CGI but it doesn't look like the green play-dough monster from the last movie. The animators did a great job with the facial expressions of the jade giant. The smashings, especially the final fight, were well done and reminiscent of the great monster movies. There is little drama and character development, probably shorthanding it due to the overhaul of it from the last movie, but the slow moments that were there were good and meaningful.
Is it as good as Iron Man? No. Is it high art? No and it's not supposed to be. Is it fun and make you root for Bruce Banner? Yes. So mission accomplished. Oh, and speaking of Iron Man, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) makes an appearance in the movie. I'll leave it to you to see where in the film and why. You did stay after the credits of Iron Man, didn't you?
Thursday, June 05, 2008
The Color Black
Icebreaker questions. These can either be very insightful and tell you a lot about a person or as enlightening as asking "What would you like for dinner?" My favorite ice breaker question, aside from the popular what superpower would you pick, is "If you were a color, what color would that be?"
My color. I'd be black.
It's not because I wear it all the time. Nor is it because I agree with Johnny Cash's song "The Man in Black." It's just...me. Black is given a negative stigma much of the time and that is unfortunate. Black isn't totally negative. It isn't totally positive.
Black has a pristine presence. It sticks out on its own but can also blend in with the background when other colors are around. It can see as fearful and scary, but under a different perspective can be seen as comforting, enveloping others like a blanket. Black has depth; it is a void. It is the color of mystery. When you stare into black are you staring at nothing...or staring at something limitless? Is black empty or is it something ready to be filled? Is it a color of completion or a color of potential?
Under self reflection, I am the color of black. With others I stick out due to my personality and size, but I also merge into the social background. To those who don't know me, I have an intimidating presence. To those that just got to know me, I get along well; I compliment most colors. I have a vat of potential in many fields, but are some of those fields filled to its limit. While I am fun loving, I have a more melancholic viewpoint which is darkness; black. I also believe life is without limits...like staring into black. Many of my friends confide to me and think of me as a good listener of their troubles; that I won't judge or expose them...they are comforted that the black can cover-up their flaws or bring out the positive colors. I am independent; colors may be complimented alongside me but cannot be mixed with me. I am cryptic at times, exposed in others, the color of purity in some cultures, the color of the tainted in others. I am black.
What color are you?
My color. I'd be black.
It's not because I wear it all the time. Nor is it because I agree with Johnny Cash's song "The Man in Black." It's just...me. Black is given a negative stigma much of the time and that is unfortunate. Black isn't totally negative. It isn't totally positive.
Black has a pristine presence. It sticks out on its own but can also blend in with the background when other colors are around. It can see as fearful and scary, but under a different perspective can be seen as comforting, enveloping others like a blanket. Black has depth; it is a void. It is the color of mystery. When you stare into black are you staring at nothing...or staring at something limitless? Is black empty or is it something ready to be filled? Is it a color of completion or a color of potential?
Under self reflection, I am the color of black. With others I stick out due to my personality and size, but I also merge into the social background. To those who don't know me, I have an intimidating presence. To those that just got to know me, I get along well; I compliment most colors. I have a vat of potential in many fields, but are some of those fields filled to its limit. While I am fun loving, I have a more melancholic viewpoint which is darkness; black. I also believe life is without limits...like staring into black. Many of my friends confide to me and think of me as a good listener of their troubles; that I won't judge or expose them...they are comforted that the black can cover-up their flaws or bring out the positive colors. I am independent; colors may be complimented alongside me but cannot be mixed with me. I am cryptic at times, exposed in others, the color of purity in some cultures, the color of the tainted in others. I am black.
What color are you?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Barnes at the Movies: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Alabama Henderson, er, Indiana Jones has developed into a modern day movie icon over the past twenty years and with the announcement of a fourth installment of Indy's adventures, many voiced concerns of making yet another sequel nineteen years after the last movie. I was among them, afraid that Harrison Ford wouldn't be able to get his Jones back and that this movie would just turn into a passing of the torch to Spielberg favorite, Shia Lebouf. I'm so glad that I am wrong.
Crystal Skull sees Jones (Ford) in 1957, his loyalty to his country being questioned by the FBI and losing his job as a university professor. He is approached by a young man named Mutt Williams (Lebouf) who is sent by his mother, an apparent acquaintance to Jones, to ask Jones to assist him in rescuing her and helping a fellow archaeological colleague of Jones' and friend to Williams, Professor Oxley, by finding an ancient Mayan crystal skull. All the while, Jones and Williams are being chased, captured, and all that rot by a group of Soviets led by a supposed telepath, Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett).
Ford picks up his character right where he left it and while I expected to hate Lebouf, he actually did well in his role. I expected him to fill the hack role of the trying-to-be-wise-ass-actually-annoying-the-audience young sidekick to Indy (think Ryan Reynolds and Aschton Kutcher) or his apparent typecast of the nerdy, I'm-not-sure-how-I'm-gonna-do-this-coming-of-age-get-the-hot-girl character, but he showed why Spielberg is nuts for the guy. The rest of the cast do their roles well and flow with the tone of the movie. There is also a cameo appearance by Sean Connery...'s photo.
As for the movie as a whole? This movie isn't high art nor has intriguing character development, but that's never been the point of the Indiana Jones series. The question you need to ask for these type of adventure movies isn't "How's the cinematography/subtext?" it's "Is it fun?" And it's fun. Go Spielberg. While in past films there have been elements of mysticism and the supernatural, I still didn't expect to see elements of science fiction (yes, sci-fi) in the film. However, it makes some sense in that the bulk of the series took place in the 1930's and 1940's (when there were quite a few action-adventure movies) and this movie takes place in the 1950's (when science fiction films were rising in number). There are a few references to the first Indy movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark, including involving a character from that film.
In conclusion, grab a fedora, a bullwhip, a smirk, and pay full admission to see this flick. If you go into the film wanting to have fun, you will. If you walk in with a jaundice eye, then you're being a snake. And Indiana Jones hates snakes.
Crystal Skull sees Jones (Ford) in 1957, his loyalty to his country being questioned by the FBI and losing his job as a university professor. He is approached by a young man named Mutt Williams (Lebouf) who is sent by his mother, an apparent acquaintance to Jones, to ask Jones to assist him in rescuing her and helping a fellow archaeological colleague of Jones' and friend to Williams, Professor Oxley, by finding an ancient Mayan crystal skull. All the while, Jones and Williams are being chased, captured, and all that rot by a group of Soviets led by a supposed telepath, Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett).
Ford picks up his character right where he left it and while I expected to hate Lebouf, he actually did well in his role. I expected him to fill the hack role of the trying-to-be-wise-ass-actually-annoying-the-audience young sidekick to Indy (think Ryan Reynolds and Aschton Kutcher) or his apparent typecast of the nerdy, I'm-not-sure-how-I'm-gonna-do-this-coming-of-age-get-the-hot-girl character, but he showed why Spielberg is nuts for the guy. The rest of the cast do their roles well and flow with the tone of the movie. There is also a cameo appearance by Sean Connery...'s photo.
As for the movie as a whole? This movie isn't high art nor has intriguing character development, but that's never been the point of the Indiana Jones series. The question you need to ask for these type of adventure movies isn't "How's the cinematography/subtext?" it's "Is it fun?" And it's fun. Go Spielberg. While in past films there have been elements of mysticism and the supernatural, I still didn't expect to see elements of science fiction (yes, sci-fi) in the film. However, it makes some sense in that the bulk of the series took place in the 1930's and 1940's (when there were quite a few action-adventure movies) and this movie takes place in the 1950's (when science fiction films were rising in number). There are a few references to the first Indy movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark, including involving a character from that film.
In conclusion, grab a fedora, a bullwhip, a smirk, and pay full admission to see this flick. If you go into the film wanting to have fun, you will. If you walk in with a jaundice eye, then you're being a snake. And Indiana Jones hates snakes.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Barnes At The Movies: Iron Man
So I saw Iron Man last weekend and decided that I'd write a little review of the movie and any others that I see during this summer blockbuster season. Iron Man is based off the Marvel comic book of the same name and is the first Marvel Universe movie totally in-house in Marvel's production and distribution department. The theory behind this would be Marvel would have primary control of the futures of their properties and open doors for some characters that most studios wouldn't take chances with, an example being Marvel making a movie about Ant-Man. Who's Ant-Man? My point exactly. The underlying hope is that if Iron Man did well along with other Marvel character movies that this could open doors for character crossovers that would otherwise would be impossible due to interference from other companies (i.e. The X-Men could never coexist with Spiderman because Wolverine is with 20th Century Fox and Peter Parker is hanging out with Sony).
So let's take a look at Marvel's first step into independence. Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark, a booze-hungry playboy (art imitating life, eh, Rob?) who is a brilliant inventor and scientist specializing in creating weapons for the U.S. military. While at a demonstration of one of his new missles, he is kidnapped by a terrorist group and his heart is injured to the point that an electomagnet is inserted into his chest in order to prevent shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him (remember, this is a comic book movie so suspend disbelief). The terrorists force Stark into making them a version of his newest weapon, but instead he secretly builds himself a crude suit of armor that assists in his escape.
After a huge firefight, Tony is rescued and reunites with his Air Force affiliated best friend, Jim Rhodes (played by Terrence Howard), and his personal assistant, Pepper Pots (played by Gwyneth Paltrow). The usually aloof Stark is now concerned that his weapons are being used by both sides of the battlefield and wants out of the arms business, much to the chagrin of his business associate Obidiah Stane (played by the Dude himself, Jeff Bridges). While his pleas of pulling out of the weapons game go on deaf ears, Stark redesigns his armor suit and thus Iron Man is born.
I have to say that I went into this movie with cynicism. I wasn't sure how Marvel could promote and create a film without the input of a proven studio and I wasn't sure that the Iron Man character had steel legs to stand on for a mainstream audience. I thought it would be all flash and explosions with little story and I have never been so glad to be wrong. When it could have been easy to make a movie that was pure eyeball-orgy, Marvel made a movie with the same reasoning they had for its comics: Make stories about people with powers instead of stories about powerful people.
Jon Favreau, who is known for directing comedies like Swingers and Elf, did a great job in creating a fine balance between plot driven, character forming scenes and blow-em-up action. Robert Downey, Jr. was born to play Tony Stark. Minus the techno-genius, the two are exactly the same guy. Downey does a great job in creating a Howard Hawks-esque, fast talking egomaniac that you can't help to cheer and even feel sorry for. The story was solid, the special effects did not take you away from the film, and the action scenes struck all the right notes.
I usually judge a movie by how much I'd pay to see it. I always ask myself, "Would I'd be willing to pay $15 for an evening show, a $5-7 matinee, wait until it gets to the cheapo $2 theater, rent or Netflix it, wait until it's on cable, or not watch it at all?" So on a scale of -$5 (in which the theater owes me money) to $15 (the most I'd be willing to sit in a theater to watch a flick), I give Iron Man a solid $12.75. Let's face it, the movie isn't going to the Oscars and it's too good to be nominated for an MTV Movie Award, but if you like fun action flicks with solid acting performances go and see it. Oh, and be sure to stick around after the credits for a grand surprise...Avengers Assemble?
So let's take a look at Marvel's first step into independence. Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark, a booze-hungry playboy (art imitating life, eh, Rob?) who is a brilliant inventor and scientist specializing in creating weapons for the U.S. military. While at a demonstration of one of his new missles, he is kidnapped by a terrorist group and his heart is injured to the point that an electomagnet is inserted into his chest in order to prevent shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him (remember, this is a comic book movie so suspend disbelief). The terrorists force Stark into making them a version of his newest weapon, but instead he secretly builds himself a crude suit of armor that assists in his escape.
After a huge firefight, Tony is rescued and reunites with his Air Force affiliated best friend, Jim Rhodes (played by Terrence Howard), and his personal assistant, Pepper Pots (played by Gwyneth Paltrow). The usually aloof Stark is now concerned that his weapons are being used by both sides of the battlefield and wants out of the arms business, much to the chagrin of his business associate Obidiah Stane (played by the Dude himself, Jeff Bridges). While his pleas of pulling out of the weapons game go on deaf ears, Stark redesigns his armor suit and thus Iron Man is born.
I have to say that I went into this movie with cynicism. I wasn't sure how Marvel could promote and create a film without the input of a proven studio and I wasn't sure that the Iron Man character had steel legs to stand on for a mainstream audience. I thought it would be all flash and explosions with little story and I have never been so glad to be wrong. When it could have been easy to make a movie that was pure eyeball-orgy, Marvel made a movie with the same reasoning they had for its comics: Make stories about people with powers instead of stories about powerful people.
Jon Favreau, who is known for directing comedies like Swingers and Elf, did a great job in creating a fine balance between plot driven, character forming scenes and blow-em-up action. Robert Downey, Jr. was born to play Tony Stark. Minus the techno-genius, the two are exactly the same guy. Downey does a great job in creating a Howard Hawks-esque, fast talking egomaniac that you can't help to cheer and even feel sorry for. The story was solid, the special effects did not take you away from the film, and the action scenes struck all the right notes.
I usually judge a movie by how much I'd pay to see it. I always ask myself, "Would I'd be willing to pay $15 for an evening show, a $5-7 matinee, wait until it gets to the cheapo $2 theater, rent or Netflix it, wait until it's on cable, or not watch it at all?" So on a scale of -$5 (in which the theater owes me money) to $15 (the most I'd be willing to sit in a theater to watch a flick), I give Iron Man a solid $12.75. Let's face it, the movie isn't going to the Oscars and it's too good to be nominated for an MTV Movie Award, but if you like fun action flicks with solid acting performances go and see it. Oh, and be sure to stick around after the credits for a grand surprise...Avengers Assemble?
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Barnes' Favorite Fictional Bands: #7- Timmy and Lords of the Underworld
That's right. Do they have only one song? Yes. But that song rules. The Lords of the Underworld showed great potential but were missing a key ingredient...then it happened. Timmy and the Lords rocked on and rocked out at Chef Aid, displaying great beats and riffs. Granted the band is limited lyrically, but that doesn't stop them from getting the number seven spot on my list.Witness the band's greatest moment.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
This is Why I Love the Wall on Facebook
So I commented on my friend Andy Dunn's wall on Facebook regarding his profile photo:
"Deep down inside, I knew you were Zach Galifinakis."
He responded to my profile photo:
"Thanks Barnes, I'm glad you understand. Likewise, deep down inside I always knew you were a town of 2,173 people."
It's the little moments, people. The little moments.
Barnes' Favorite Fictional Bands: #8- Limozeen
The creators of Homestarrunner did a great job making a parody of 80's hair metal bands. How did these guys get featured on the Guitar Hero video game franchise? Practice, practice, practice. These guys reached at a number eight on the list not only because they do a great job in rocking and spoofing at the same time, but also doing live gigs! Kudos to you, Limozeen. Kudos.Meanwhile, on Television
According to this, a Family Guy spin-off based off the character Cleveland Brown titled (appropriately) Cleveland is almost confirmed for 13 episodes. Why do I have a feeling that this show will end up being a spoofy mix of The Jeffersons, A Different World and The Cosby Show? A couple predictions regarding the show:
- Cleveland will move into a more "urban" environment, but not a major city (New York, L.A., etc.). Since his name is Cleveland and they can't resist the irony, he'll probably move to Columbus or Cincinnati, Ohio.
- Cleveland's new friends would include a large, muscular black character with a shaved head and goatee, a stereotypical 1970's pimp character, and a Flava Flav archetype. Oh, and a random white guy that does nothing but stuff white people like and stuff that black comedians make fun of. Stuff like the stuff mentioned on this site.
- Carl Weathers will be mayor of whatever city Cleveland is in.
- Quagmire will frequently show up to hang out with Cleveland.
- There will be a talking animal character since Seth MacFarlane has Brian the Dog in Family Guy and Klaus the German Goldfish in American Dad. My guess is a cat.
Time will tell if I'm right.
- Cleveland will move into a more "urban" environment, but not a major city (New York, L.A., etc.). Since his name is Cleveland and they can't resist the irony, he'll probably move to Columbus or Cincinnati, Ohio.
- Cleveland's new friends would include a large, muscular black character with a shaved head and goatee, a stereotypical 1970's pimp character, and a Flava Flav archetype. Oh, and a random white guy that does nothing but stuff white people like and stuff that black comedians make fun of. Stuff like the stuff mentioned on this site.
- Carl Weathers will be mayor of whatever city Cleveland is in.
- Quagmire will frequently show up to hang out with Cleveland.
- There will be a talking animal character since Seth MacFarlane has Brian the Dog in Family Guy and Klaus the German Goldfish in American Dad. My guess is a cat.
Time will tell if I'm right.
I Just Smelled What Barack is Cooking...Along with What Hillary and John Have Broiled.
So many have asked me, since I am an avid wrestling fan, what I thought about Obama, McCain, and Clinton addressing the WWE fans during the live broadcast of WWE RAW a week and a half ago. I realize that I am a week late in addressing this issue, since most news media have already commented and lampooned over it, but since many have asked me my thoughts, especially since I unintentionally foreshadowed the "Do you smell what Barack is cooking?" line in a previous blog, I'll indulge them. I think the appearance of all three candidates was great...and awful.
The three candidates (or, let's face it, their campaign teams) realized that professional wrestling is an outlet enjoyed by numerous people throughout the U.S., including gun toting people who cling to religion (zing, Obama) and the more educated set. While the media continues to portray most wrestling fans as beer bellied, unschooled folk, the campaigns of all three candidates realize the mass appeal that pro wrestling has. Hell, WWE RAW has been one of the top ten viewed cable television programs for the past ten years. Face facts: a lot of people watch pro wrestling...people that vote. That is why I'm glad that all three acknowledged this usually snubbed group of voters.
However, I also think it was awful. Check out snippets of their videos here. Now, I readily know that these videos are supposed to be for fun, however their campaigns (save for McCain since his is smooth sailing until the quagmire that's been the Democratic nomination is settled) aren't supposed to be fun. While I am glad that wrestling fans are being addressed to, this is another attempt for all of them to "slum it up" to appeal to the "common man." I admit, I was entertained, but don't insult my intelligence.
Hil-Rod? Seriously?
First, Clinton looked like she read from cuecards and came off as fake as her sniper fire in Bosnia. Don't use wrestling rhetoric you don't understand and don't drink whisky at a bar that you'd never be caught dead in. Just say, "Hey wrestling fans, I think..."and insert your campaign promises and platform there. Be genuine for once okay? If you aren't familiar with the product, just say you aren't. Besides, the name Hil-Rod reminds me of A-Rod, a baseball player.
Secondly, Obama. While I don't mind him using the "Do you smell what Barack is cooking" line since the amusing comparison between him and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been established, I also think he read off of cue cards and he had a big "man, this is silly" smile throughout the whole thing. It is silly. Look, Barack, I know that you don't want to come off as an "elitist," but come on.
Random side note: Since when is being elite bad? "I don't want a candidate who thinks he's better than me." I got news for all you. The candidates are the candidates because they ARE better than you. And no matter how many Pabst Blue Ribbons they share in a bar with you, they KNOW they are better than you. I think it's a stupid notion that people want a candidate that is a "regular joe." I don't want a "regular joe." I want the best, the brightest, the strongest our country has to offer. I want someone who is among the...what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah...ELITE! Mind you, don't confuse "elite" with "rich." Many folks are elite with or without the bank account, so don't take money into the equation. Folks, there are plenty of other intelligent reasons to be against certain candidates. I want to focus on the person that will prevent gas from being $5 a gallon, not the candidate who can at least bowl a 200.
Barack, you're not a wrestling fan. I'm not a graduate from Harvard. I'm okay with not attending an Ivy League school, like you did. You should be okay with not knowing what a Hornswoggle is, like I do. It's both okay.
McCain, while he was probably coached, actually came off like he had attended a wrestling match or two back in the day. Hell, he's old enough that he had to bump into at least one or two on T.V. While his verbal onslaught of every other wrestling catchphrase since 1985 was a bit much, he actually looked like he had fun. I'm sure he wasn't a genuine wrestling fan, but he at least faked it correctly. However, saying stuff like having the Undertaker take care of Osama Bin Laden makes me question your strategy and seriousness on the War on Terror.
Point is, while entertaining, all three of these candidates were being something that they aren't. While I am glad that they wanted to address the WWE audience, I don't like that they patronized the WWE audience. They could have used this opportunity to gain some votes by talking about the differences amongst the other candidates and addressing issues that the majority of fans in WWE's demographic care about. Instead, they mostly used it for expensive playtime. This could have been used to garner more votes. Instead, it made them, especially the Democrats, look like foolish posers. Candidates, you aren't wrestling fans...don't try to be me. Just talk to me. If you don't know the difference, then I can't help you.
At the same time though, like this amusing cartoon indicates, there probably isn't anything more phony than pro wrestling other than politics.
The three candidates (or, let's face it, their campaign teams) realized that professional wrestling is an outlet enjoyed by numerous people throughout the U.S., including gun toting people who cling to religion (zing, Obama) and the more educated set. While the media continues to portray most wrestling fans as beer bellied, unschooled folk, the campaigns of all three candidates realize the mass appeal that pro wrestling has. Hell, WWE RAW has been one of the top ten viewed cable television programs for the past ten years. Face facts: a lot of people watch pro wrestling...people that vote. That is why I'm glad that all three acknowledged this usually snubbed group of voters.
However, I also think it was awful. Check out snippets of their videos here. Now, I readily know that these videos are supposed to be for fun, however their campaigns (save for McCain since his is smooth sailing until the quagmire that's been the Democratic nomination is settled) aren't supposed to be fun. While I am glad that wrestling fans are being addressed to, this is another attempt for all of them to "slum it up" to appeal to the "common man." I admit, I was entertained, but don't insult my intelligence.
Hil-Rod? Seriously?
First, Clinton looked like she read from cuecards and came off as fake as her sniper fire in Bosnia. Don't use wrestling rhetoric you don't understand and don't drink whisky at a bar that you'd never be caught dead in. Just say, "Hey wrestling fans, I think..."and insert your campaign promises and platform there. Be genuine for once okay? If you aren't familiar with the product, just say you aren't. Besides, the name Hil-Rod reminds me of A-Rod, a baseball player.
Secondly, Obama. While I don't mind him using the "Do you smell what Barack is cooking" line since the amusing comparison between him and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been established, I also think he read off of cue cards and he had a big "man, this is silly" smile throughout the whole thing. It is silly. Look, Barack, I know that you don't want to come off as an "elitist," but come on.
Random side note: Since when is being elite bad? "I don't want a candidate who thinks he's better than me." I got news for all you. The candidates are the candidates because they ARE better than you. And no matter how many Pabst Blue Ribbons they share in a bar with you, they KNOW they are better than you. I think it's a stupid notion that people want a candidate that is a "regular joe." I don't want a "regular joe." I want the best, the brightest, the strongest our country has to offer. I want someone who is among the...what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, yeah...ELITE! Mind you, don't confuse "elite" with "rich." Many folks are elite with or without the bank account, so don't take money into the equation. Folks, there are plenty of other intelligent reasons to be against certain candidates. I want to focus on the person that will prevent gas from being $5 a gallon, not the candidate who can at least bowl a 200.
Barack, you're not a wrestling fan. I'm not a graduate from Harvard. I'm okay with not attending an Ivy League school, like you did. You should be okay with not knowing what a Hornswoggle is, like I do. It's both okay.
McCain, while he was probably coached, actually came off like he had attended a wrestling match or two back in the day. Hell, he's old enough that he had to bump into at least one or two on T.V. While his verbal onslaught of every other wrestling catchphrase since 1985 was a bit much, he actually looked like he had fun. I'm sure he wasn't a genuine wrestling fan, but he at least faked it correctly. However, saying stuff like having the Undertaker take care of Osama Bin Laden makes me question your strategy and seriousness on the War on Terror.
Point is, while entertaining, all three of these candidates were being something that they aren't. While I am glad that they wanted to address the WWE audience, I don't like that they patronized the WWE audience. They could have used this opportunity to gain some votes by talking about the differences amongst the other candidates and addressing issues that the majority of fans in WWE's demographic care about. Instead, they mostly used it for expensive playtime. This could have been used to garner more votes. Instead, it made them, especially the Democrats, look like foolish posers. Candidates, you aren't wrestling fans...don't try to be me. Just talk to me. If you don't know the difference, then I can't help you.
At the same time though, like this amusing cartoon indicates, there probably isn't anything more phony than pro wrestling other than politics.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Fictional Bands: #9- Wyld Stallyns
Ladies and gentlemen, meet Bill S. Preston, Esq. and "Ted" Theodore Logan. They are...WYLD STALLYNS! These two apparently-destined-to-be-great men forged a band so rockin' that they effect future politics and ways of life in the movies, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. They weren't always good guitarists, as seen here, but their love of music and never say die attitude (and I really mean never say die, they survived going to Hell and beat Death in Battleship in order to get back to Earth). These gentlemen went to ultimate lengths to achieve their dreams and their passions, which serve as an inspiration to all of us. The two also preach the simple yet poignant axiom, "Be excellent to each other." It's with those reasons that the Wyld Stallyns get a spot at the list at number nine.
God gave rock and roll to us. Thank you, Bill and Ted, for reminding us.
Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Fictional Bands: #10- The Misfits
No, no, not these guys.
These girls.
Yes, that's right. The major villains in the 1980's animated series JEM broke into the top ten list. While I only caught mere glimspes of them during the show's run (I was too infatuated with Transformers, He Man, and Thundercats at the time), I am happy to include this bad girl group. While little girls might have been inspired by JEM and her Holograms, I think that the Misfits have possibly inspired future punk girl groups. Along with the show providing music videos of the Misfits, no doubt riding the then-pioneering MTV, and showing some...odd fashion sense caught my eye. Also the fact that their name and songs remind me of better music.
There is first Pizzazz Gabor, the lead vocalist and guitarist, fitting the stereotypical rich girl gone bad. She could go far if not for her obsession with Holograms and as long as no one refers to her real name, Phyllis. Then there is Roxy Pellegrini, the bassist of the group, a high school dropout who fights personal illiteracy with the power of rock. Stormer Philips, primary songwriter, the group conscience, and master of the almighty keytar! Rounding out the band is Jetta Burns, who is as good on the sax as she is at lying and stealing.
So congrats to the Misfits to making it to my list at number 10.
"Welcome to the Jungle" (Axl Rose is gonna sue for this one)
Friday, April 25, 2008
April 25, 2008: The Day I Became An Adult
I realized that I am no longer a child, but became a full fledged adult on April 25, 2008. I went to bed at 8:00 PM on a Friday night because I had to work the the next day. When you sacrifice a night of potential fun for a good night's rest, that, my friends, is when you have truly turned into an adult...
Or regressed back into a five year old by having an early bedtime.
Or regressed back into a five year old by having an early bedtime.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Not So Much Writer's Block, but Writer's Boredom/Favorite Internet Video Stars
Since I've been bitten by the writing bug again recently due to finding new stand-up material and a visit from my friend's boyfriend who is a professional screenwriter (look for Anaconda 3, straight-to-DVD in 2010), I decided to dust off an abandoned script that I was writing entitled "World War 2.5" (I'm sure some of you might be either excited, perplexed, worried, or all three). As I am writing this script, I come to realize that I am the kind of writer that needs other things to write about, otherwise I will lose interest. I need to write W.W.2.5 in order to save my brain from getting bored writing stand-up and vice versa.
I also thought that in an effort to make both of those things fresh and new in my brain, that aside from regular blogs that I write, I would also include two top ten lists, in which I will write a little something for each ranking. These two lists shall answer the two important questions that most of you probably ask yourselves: "What are Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Fictional Bands?" and "What are Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Video Game Franchises That Immediately Came To His Mind on April 22, 2008?"
As you can plainly see, my blog is relevant and addresses the real issues. So if something cool comes to mind or if someone wants me to write a Barnesharmonymatch.com.org.tv profile, I'll do so. However, I'll fill in those lists in between those posts. Now, since I don't want a mere blog that is a blog about what's in my blog, here are:
Barnes' Favorite Internet Video Stars That Are Better Than Most Crap That's On Television
Let's face it. Most TV sucks. So where do I go when the idiot box can't entertain or inform me to my standards? The internet of course! Now, 95% of internet video, including youtube, is just home movies, crappy confessions, or just plain bad videos. There are some great diamonds in the huge rough, though. I share some of my favorite diamonds with you, the reader.
Ask a Ninja- What is better than a ninja? No, not pirates, it's a ninja that will gladly answer any query you may have. While the ninja will put his answer in a ninja context (whether your question is ninja related or not), you will be thoroughly informed or at least entertained. With his wild explanations, violent disposition, and cinematography that is reminiscent of the 1960's Batman television series, Ask a Ninja is defintely something to witness. Here are some samples:
The Ninja unearths the truth about an important mythical character.
Can midgets be ninjas? Yes...BEWARE!
Do ninjas go on dates? Of course! Hell, they need a vacation!
You can find other videos on youtube or at http://www.askaninja.com/
Homestar Runner- I know that most of you have probably been to this webpage back in the day, but I still end up going to it and see what Homestar, Bubs, and Strong Bad are up to. It's a great series of toons that never seems to fail to entertain me, whether it be Strong Bad answering emails from fans, little niche cartoons, or fake funny ads for nonexistent products. You can check it all out at http://www.homestarrunner.com/ . Here are samples from the site, like:
A Strong Bad Email: Strong Bad talks about wrestling…what do you expect? It’s my blog.
The first episode of the cult favorite, The Teen Girl Squad!
And ads,like this…it’s creepy because it’s exactly represents my feelings on fast food.
Angry Video Game Nerd- This guy is hilarious. James Rolfe, aspiring filmmaker and internet media maven, is the Angry Video Game Nerd, a nerd who reviews the worst video games of our childhood. His reviews are not just entertaining (warning: ALL of them contain huge amounts of foul language and poop jokes) but make great points that all wannabe and current game creators should bear in mind when making a video game. His early videos are a little bit crude looking, but now that he has financial backing from http://www.gametrailers.com/ and http://www.screwattack.com/ , his videos have a greater quality and even have special effects. His videos can be seen at those sites, on youtube, or at his personal website http://www.cinemassacre.com/. Here are some of my favorites:
Thou shalt not play Wisdom Tree games!
No wonder Silver Surfer is seen as a D list superhero.
The Nerd doesn’t only go after games, but crappy video game accessories as well. Take this, Sega 32X!
Cinefiles- The top contestants from IFC's Ultimate Film Fanatic have gathered together for a round table discussion and debate about various film topics. Their show airs in NYC on a local cable access channel, but they have extended their reach by posting their episodes on youtube along with having a myspace page. Unlike many wannabe critics on the internet, these guys don't crap on all movies like a guy who hates movies nor think a film is good with reasons like "It's just totally awesome!" or "Dude, she shows her tits in it!" These guys know their stuff or at least think that they know so much that they actually research to the point that they actually end up knowing their stuff. And they don't talk about regular flavor of the week movies, they do stuff like:
Discussing political documentaries. No there’s no Michael Moore in this one…they have one about him specifically here.
Talk about films inspired, based on, or totally ripping off author Philip K. Dick.
Also, the Crew debates, discusses, and disgusts over comic book movies.
The Stack- Yeah, I'm a nerd. However, I'm a thrifty nerd. I like comic books, but at $2.99 a pop the price can add up. Enter these guys. They review comics and trade paperbacks so that nerds like me get a heads up on what to check out and what to probably avoid. They cover not only the weekly books, but other stuff as well. You can see them at http://www.pulpsecret.com/ , http://www.newsrama.com/ , or subscribe to them on youtube. Some of their videos include:
Reviews of their favorite graphic novels.
Quality comics that are appropriate for you, your kid brother, and grandad.
New manga that us in the U.S. can sample.
The Kid from Brooklyn- Not to be confused with his adversary,the Guy from Boston, the Kid "tells it like is" and touts to be "The Voice of the People." The Kid is the grumpy, old man that your grandfather lives next door to that reminisces of the good ol' days but, unlike the grandpa's neighbor, acknowledges the current state of affairs. Picture if Grandpa Simpson, Lewis Black, and Archie Bunker are blended together then soaked in a marinade made of foul language and the manners of the stereotypical New Yorker. The Kid's videos can be seen at his site, http://www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com/, but I rather look at his rantings that are posted on youtube.
Disclaimer: The Kid from Brooklyn's views and obscene language, while entertaining, do not necessarily reflect the views of the author of this blog. So don't write to your congressman about me drowning America's values.
The Kid's samples are here:
Based on this rant, I think the Kid hates, hates, hates Valentines Day.
GET OUTTA BROOKLYN, STARBUCKS!
Good to see the Kid care about the state of the economy.
Deep Fried Live!- I don't watch cooking shows. They either a) focus too much on cooking for me to be entertained or b) the personalities on the show annoy me. Well, how is this cooking program different? The chef is an octopus. Did I get your attention? Chef Tako hands out real recipes in this awesome flash cartoon. Not only do you get to learn how to make various dishes while being entertained, the sidebars on the borders of the cartoon have links with various fun facts, other cooking recipes, or links to websites to purchase any necessary cookingware. You can check out the creators' webpage at http://www.8legged.com/ . Some samples are:
Chef Tako teaches us how to cook exotic birds…okay, maybe not that exotic.
Can you make a flan out of pumpkin…apparently, yes!
I never thought I’d ever entertain the thought of cooking meatloaf…until now.
The House of Cosbys- What's better than one Bill Cosby? How about a house filled with them? Let me explain via the theme song:
He was a Cosby fan at heart, it's clear
He searched and found a Cosby hair
He spent ten long years and built a cloning machine
And now he's accomplished his wonderful dream
To make a House of Cosbys
It's a House of Cosbys
Rather than spoil it for you, watch the first episode of this funny yet unfortunately discontinued cartoon that you can easily search for on youtube. Be forewarned, some episodes have crude language and some Cosby related nudity.
So if you're bored, check some of these things out. Also, please send a link to some of your favorite ongoing internet video series on the comments page to this email to share your favorite videos with me and my fellow blog readers. Peace.
I also thought that in an effort to make both of those things fresh and new in my brain, that aside from regular blogs that I write, I would also include two top ten lists, in which I will write a little something for each ranking. These two lists shall answer the two important questions that most of you probably ask yourselves: "What are Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Fictional Bands?" and "What are Barnes' Top Ten Favorite Video Game Franchises That Immediately Came To His Mind on April 22, 2008?"
As you can plainly see, my blog is relevant and addresses the real issues. So if something cool comes to mind or if someone wants me to write a Barnesharmonymatch.com.org.tv profile, I'll do so. However, I'll fill in those lists in between those posts. Now, since I don't want a mere blog that is a blog about what's in my blog, here are:
Barnes' Favorite Internet Video Stars That Are Better Than Most Crap That's On Television
Let's face it. Most TV sucks. So where do I go when the idiot box can't entertain or inform me to my standards? The internet of course! Now, 95% of internet video, including youtube, is just home movies, crappy confessions, or just plain bad videos. There are some great diamonds in the huge rough, though. I share some of my favorite diamonds with you, the reader.
Ask a Ninja- What is better than a ninja? No, not pirates, it's a ninja that will gladly answer any query you may have. While the ninja will put his answer in a ninja context (whether your question is ninja related or not), you will be thoroughly informed or at least entertained. With his wild explanations, violent disposition, and cinematography that is reminiscent of the 1960's Batman television series, Ask a Ninja is defintely something to witness. Here are some samples:
The Ninja unearths the truth about an important mythical character.
Can midgets be ninjas? Yes...BEWARE!
Do ninjas go on dates? Of course! Hell, they need a vacation!
You can find other videos on youtube or at http://www.askaninja.com/
Homestar Runner- I know that most of you have probably been to this webpage back in the day, but I still end up going to it and see what Homestar, Bubs, and Strong Bad are up to. It's a great series of toons that never seems to fail to entertain me, whether it be Strong Bad answering emails from fans, little niche cartoons, or fake funny ads for nonexistent products. You can check it all out at http://www.homestarrunner.com/ . Here are samples from the site, like:
A Strong Bad Email: Strong Bad talks about wrestling…what do you expect? It’s my blog.
The first episode of the cult favorite, The Teen Girl Squad!
And ads,like this…it’s creepy because it’s exactly represents my feelings on fast food.
Angry Video Game Nerd- This guy is hilarious. James Rolfe, aspiring filmmaker and internet media maven, is the Angry Video Game Nerd, a nerd who reviews the worst video games of our childhood. His reviews are not just entertaining (warning: ALL of them contain huge amounts of foul language and poop jokes) but make great points that all wannabe and current game creators should bear in mind when making a video game. His early videos are a little bit crude looking, but now that he has financial backing from http://www.gametrailers.com/ and http://www.screwattack.com/ , his videos have a greater quality and even have special effects. His videos can be seen at those sites, on youtube, or at his personal website http://www.cinemassacre.com/. Here are some of my favorites:
Thou shalt not play Wisdom Tree games!
No wonder Silver Surfer is seen as a D list superhero.
The Nerd doesn’t only go after games, but crappy video game accessories as well. Take this, Sega 32X!
Cinefiles- The top contestants from IFC's Ultimate Film Fanatic have gathered together for a round table discussion and debate about various film topics. Their show airs in NYC on a local cable access channel, but they have extended their reach by posting their episodes on youtube along with having a myspace page. Unlike many wannabe critics on the internet, these guys don't crap on all movies like a guy who hates movies nor think a film is good with reasons like "It's just totally awesome!" or "Dude, she shows her tits in it!" These guys know their stuff or at least think that they know so much that they actually research to the point that they actually end up knowing their stuff. And they don't talk about regular flavor of the week movies, they do stuff like:
Discussing political documentaries. No there’s no Michael Moore in this one…they have one about him specifically here.
Talk about films inspired, based on, or totally ripping off author Philip K. Dick.
Also, the Crew debates, discusses, and disgusts over comic book movies.
The Stack- Yeah, I'm a nerd. However, I'm a thrifty nerd. I like comic books, but at $2.99 a pop the price can add up. Enter these guys. They review comics and trade paperbacks so that nerds like me get a heads up on what to check out and what to probably avoid. They cover not only the weekly books, but other stuff as well. You can see them at http://www.pulpsecret.com/ , http://www.newsrama.com/ , or subscribe to them on youtube. Some of their videos include:
Reviews of their favorite graphic novels.
Quality comics that are appropriate for you, your kid brother, and grandad.
New manga that us in the U.S. can sample.
The Kid from Brooklyn- Not to be confused with his adversary,the Guy from Boston, the Kid "tells it like is" and touts to be "The Voice of the People." The Kid is the grumpy, old man that your grandfather lives next door to that reminisces of the good ol' days but, unlike the grandpa's neighbor, acknowledges the current state of affairs. Picture if Grandpa Simpson, Lewis Black, and Archie Bunker are blended together then soaked in a marinade made of foul language and the manners of the stereotypical New Yorker. The Kid's videos can be seen at his site, http://www.thekidfrombrooklyn.com/, but I rather look at his rantings that are posted on youtube.
Disclaimer: The Kid from Brooklyn's views and obscene language, while entertaining, do not necessarily reflect the views of the author of this blog. So don't write to your congressman about me drowning America's values.
The Kid's samples are here:
Based on this rant, I think the Kid hates, hates, hates Valentines Day.
GET OUTTA BROOKLYN, STARBUCKS!
Good to see the Kid care about the state of the economy.
Deep Fried Live!- I don't watch cooking shows. They either a) focus too much on cooking for me to be entertained or b) the personalities on the show annoy me. Well, how is this cooking program different? The chef is an octopus. Did I get your attention? Chef Tako hands out real recipes in this awesome flash cartoon. Not only do you get to learn how to make various dishes while being entertained, the sidebars on the borders of the cartoon have links with various fun facts, other cooking recipes, or links to websites to purchase any necessary cookingware. You can check out the creators' webpage at http://www.8legged.com/ . Some samples are:
Chef Tako teaches us how to cook exotic birds…okay, maybe not that exotic.
Can you make a flan out of pumpkin…apparently, yes!
I never thought I’d ever entertain the thought of cooking meatloaf…until now.
The House of Cosbys- What's better than one Bill Cosby? How about a house filled with them? Let me explain via the theme song:
He was a Cosby fan at heart, it's clear
He searched and found a Cosby hair
He spent ten long years and built a cloning machine
And now he's accomplished his wonderful dream
To make a House of Cosbys
It's a House of Cosbys
Rather than spoil it for you, watch the first episode of this funny yet unfortunately discontinued cartoon that you can easily search for on youtube. Be forewarned, some episodes have crude language and some Cosby related nudity.
So if you're bored, check some of these things out. Also, please send a link to some of your favorite ongoing internet video series on the comments page to this email to share your favorite videos with me and my fellow blog readers. Peace.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I'm Online. Go Me.
So this guy has been recording us budding comedians at Bonkers Comedy Club and posting video of our sets online on his website. You can watch me here. I did okay. This was my first set in a long while and in front of a sorority that had a mixer at the club. Real post later.
(Video is in Quicktime format and works best in Firefox)
(Video is in Quicktime format and works best in Firefox)
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Do You Smell What Barack Is Cooking?
Now, I shy away from discussing partisan politics on my blog. Usually it's due to these reasons:
1) I don't think I'm educated enough to eloquently explain my position on issues/candidates.
2) I don't care about or don't trust certain issues or candidates.
3) I'm a moderate, so I don't like most politicians. Also, if I might agree with some ideas from one candidate and disagree with the candidate's other ideas and I state about the stuff I like about the candidate, people will ask me why I like him/her because of the stuff I would usually disagree with. Just because I support the eating of hamburgers doesn't mean that I endorse McDonalds.
4) If I make a public political statement it would be held against me or someone would try to debate me to death to convince me to be on their side when I have no interest in convincing them to be on my side. So if you disagree with me, that's fine. Just don't expect me to defend my position to you because quite frankly, my opinion doesn't even equal 1% of a deciding vote and ultimately, I have other things to do then play an armchair political pundit game of which I have no deep interest in.
Now, with that being said, I'm going to break my usual political silence. Here goes. I don't know if I'm voting for John McCain. I don't know if I'd vote for Barack Obama. All I know is that I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton. But why? It's not because she's a woman. It is not because I disagree with the majority of her policies (which doesn't mean that I do agree with her policies). It's because I don't like her. Why? She seems fake, or if the other candidates are also fake, she is the worst at being fake. Also, she annoys me. Obama and McCain do not.
Is that a childish reason? Yes. However, I know that no matter who gets to be president, there will ultimately be some things being done that I agree with and stuff that I don't agree with. If you think you are going to get the leader that does everything you want him/her to do, you couldn't be more misguided if you tried. So with that mindset, I look at some of the issues and the candidates' demeanors and I think that I wouldn't mind McCain or Obama being president.
I don't think that way about Hillary. John McCain strikes me as an experienced person that knows what he's talking about and is willing to listen to input from other people regardless of party. Obama strikes me as an idealist that wants to change the U.S. for the better while accepting the guidance and wisdom of other people. Hillary strikes me as a person who will do her agenda without really paying attention to what is really going on. I think she even takes her husband, the former president's, advice with a grain of salt. That and I either don't agree with her views or don't agree with her methods of obtaining the views that I agree with.
So let be known to the world, that the candidate that I will vote for in 2008 will be...Not Hillary Clinton. Thus I will post a bumper sticker on my car that reads "No Clinton in '08." Actually, I won't do that because bumper stickers are hard to remove and I don't want to be the future equivilant of the guy that still has a Gore/Lieberman sticker on his car in 2008.
On another note, it's been established on every other radio show in the country that Barack Obama and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson sound creepily alike. However, I never knew how much until I saw this video. I'm sorry, Mr. Obama, but it's called the WWE title now. I hope you do win the primary from the "thong wearing fatty," though.
1) I don't think I'm educated enough to eloquently explain my position on issues/candidates.
2) I don't care about or don't trust certain issues or candidates.
3) I'm a moderate, so I don't like most politicians. Also, if I might agree with some ideas from one candidate and disagree with the candidate's other ideas and I state about the stuff I like about the candidate, people will ask me why I like him/her because of the stuff I would usually disagree with. Just because I support the eating of hamburgers doesn't mean that I endorse McDonalds.
4) If I make a public political statement it would be held against me or someone would try to debate me to death to convince me to be on their side when I have no interest in convincing them to be on my side. So if you disagree with me, that's fine. Just don't expect me to defend my position to you because quite frankly, my opinion doesn't even equal 1% of a deciding vote and ultimately, I have other things to do then play an armchair political pundit game of which I have no deep interest in.
Now, with that being said, I'm going to break my usual political silence. Here goes. I don't know if I'm voting for John McCain. I don't know if I'd vote for Barack Obama. All I know is that I'm not voting for Hillary Clinton. But why? It's not because she's a woman. It is not because I disagree with the majority of her policies (which doesn't mean that I do agree with her policies). It's because I don't like her. Why? She seems fake, or if the other candidates are also fake, she is the worst at being fake. Also, she annoys me. Obama and McCain do not.
Is that a childish reason? Yes. However, I know that no matter who gets to be president, there will ultimately be some things being done that I agree with and stuff that I don't agree with. If you think you are going to get the leader that does everything you want him/her to do, you couldn't be more misguided if you tried. So with that mindset, I look at some of the issues and the candidates' demeanors and I think that I wouldn't mind McCain or Obama being president.
I don't think that way about Hillary. John McCain strikes me as an experienced person that knows what he's talking about and is willing to listen to input from other people regardless of party. Obama strikes me as an idealist that wants to change the U.S. for the better while accepting the guidance and wisdom of other people. Hillary strikes me as a person who will do her agenda without really paying attention to what is really going on. I think she even takes her husband, the former president's, advice with a grain of salt. That and I either don't agree with her views or don't agree with her methods of obtaining the views that I agree with.
So let be known to the world, that the candidate that I will vote for in 2008 will be...Not Hillary Clinton. Thus I will post a bumper sticker on my car that reads "No Clinton in '08." Actually, I won't do that because bumper stickers are hard to remove and I don't want to be the future equivilant of the guy that still has a Gore/Lieberman sticker on his car in 2008.
On another note, it's been established on every other radio show in the country that Barack Obama and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson sound creepily alike. However, I never knew how much until I saw this video. I'm sorry, Mr. Obama, but it's called the WWE title now. I hope you do win the primary from the "thong wearing fatty," though.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Barnesharmonymatch.com.org.tv/Colonel's Profile
This one is for the Colonel.
Eric is one of most levelheaded men I've met. His wit and knowledge are as quick and solid as roundhouse kick from one of his heroes, Chuck Norris. His love of God and reason is as huge as the muscles of his other hero, Mr. T. His nickname The Colonel fits him well, due to his ability to lead and teach. Just because he sees all things from all perspectives doesn't mean that he tries to be all things to all people. As a reverend, he is able to bring and distribute hope to others. As a friend, he brings more love and truth than most. It is impossible for Eric to be more mellow. Seriously, the man is calmer and more tranquil than most trees. His sense of humor is as big and as wide as two grizzly bears duct taped together. Ladies, date him already. Hippies need not apply.
Hope this helps, bud.
Eric is one of most levelheaded men I've met. His wit and knowledge are as quick and solid as roundhouse kick from one of his heroes, Chuck Norris. His love of God and reason is as huge as the muscles of his other hero, Mr. T. His nickname The Colonel fits him well, due to his ability to lead and teach. Just because he sees all things from all perspectives doesn't mean that he tries to be all things to all people. As a reverend, he is able to bring and distribute hope to others. As a friend, he brings more love and truth than most. It is impossible for Eric to be more mellow. Seriously, the man is calmer and more tranquil than most trees. His sense of humor is as big and as wide as two grizzly bears duct taped together. Ladies, date him already. Hippies need not apply.
Hope this helps, bud.
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