Thursday, April 23, 2009

California

Day 1


As I looked out the plane window, I learned that baseball is America's undisputed pastime. Hands down. My proof? There was a baseball diamond every inch and a half from the perspective of my window. I landed from my 5 hour flight (turned 3 hour due to the time zone change) at LAX just in time to experience rush hour traffic. It was bad, but nothing I hadn't experienced in Cincinnati or Orlando. The worst part of it was desperately trying to find a good radio station. I finally found KROQ and a smooth jazz station. I heard the song "Sex on Fire" by the Kings of Leon at least three times driving to my friend's apartment in Van Nuys. The song would become my unofficial anthem of the trip because I heard it every time I stepped into a car.


I arrived to my friend Carly's home. Carly is a friend of mine that moved to LA from Orlando. She and I both worked at the TV station in Orlando. Carly is a tiny punk girl, loaded with tattoos and smiles. She is very energetic and adventurous, which is what I needed to feed off of due to my jet lag. After some catching up at In N' Out Burger, we relaxed at her home. I had to get a good night's rest for my interview the next day.



Day 2



I got dressed up in a suit and tie. I looked good but I hate wearing that stuff. It makes me feel like I'm working for the mob. Carly drove me over to Paramount Studios for an interview with her former boss, a producer at the Dr. Phil Show. After some exploring, I sat down with the producer and she seemed to like my resume, my attitude, and well, me. She said that currently they can't hire anyone because the show was about to go on summer hiatus, but that there might be openings in other departments. If not, then there would probably be openings after the hiatus in late July/early August.



What I thought would be a twenty minute interview turned into five hours with a lunch break in between. The producer introduced me to two other producers, a field producer, and two videographers. I was bombarded with the same simple on surface, deep when you analyze them questions. My mouth was continually dry, my faced ached in order to keep a friendly expression, my feet hurt because I was running around in dress shoes, and neck felt like a geriatric woman was trying to choke me due to the tie. It was good and I made some solid contacts. I hope and pray that they can lead me to a new job.



After all that and observing a Dr. Phil taping (which ironically covered job searching), Carly and I went to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I saw many stars' stars on the sidewalk, but after I saw Don Knotts' star, I needn't have bothered to look down at the ground any further. I stood outside Mann's Chinese Theater and looked at the footprints of various actors including Darth Vader, C-3PO, and R2D2. Spiderman was there taking photos for a few bucks. He had a fanny pack because Peter Parker didn't think to put pockets on his costume for his keys and cell phone. I also saw Zorro... if Zorro was obese and African-American.



We then went back to Carly's home and relaxed a bit. It was a productive day, but an exhausting one. The jet lag and constant stress of making a good impression took a lot out of me. Afterward, I met with some Carly's friends at their apartment to participate in their weekly "LOST" night. I don't watch that show, so the title was very appropriate for the occasion.


Day 3


I still hadn't fully recovered from the flight physically and mentally I was exhausted from doing essentially a five hour interview. I slept in and slept hard. I needed to relax and be on my "A" game. After putzing around for a while, I immediately sent emails and phone calls to my contacts, desperately trying to get them to contact a third party that might be in need of my services. Unfortunately, my contact's contact was out of town. Passover. I'm still trying to get in touch with them at the time of this writing.


I treated Carly to dinner and then we went over to her improv class. It was being held at a large house with a big open area. The class is run by group called Monkey Butler, who holds various improv and stand-up comedy classes throughout the area free of charge. There were about 30 people attending, much larger than I expected. We did some warm-up excersises and finally got to doing "freeze."


Freeze is a game in which we all stand in a circle while two performers act out a scene. When inspiration strikes, a person yells, "Freeze!" and the two performers lock themselves in whatever position they are currently in. The person who yelled out then has to tag one of the performers out, position themselves in the pose the person they tagged was in, and start a new scene from those poses. I had fun and I got some laughs from the group. When the instructor asked the class to return to their seats, he asked me in front of everyone if I had done improv before.

"Not really, no."

"You really have a natural ability."

The class stared at me. I appreciated the compliment, but I just sunk in my chair. I love getting laughs, but I usually am uncomfortable being the center of attention. Carly would later tell me that the instructor never had praised anyone in front of the whole class before. I felt good. Nervous and shy, but good.

When we were dismissed, a bunch of the students walked up to me and introduced themselves.

"What's your name again?"

"You're from Florida? I'm from Florida!"

"Did you just move here?"

"When are you moving here?"

"Looking for work? My buddy is head bouncer over at..."

"We need a few big guys at..."

"I can get you a waiting job at the Comedy Store and you'd get some stage time."

They were all very nice and for the first time in a long time, I felt welcomed into a community. At the end, there was a group prayer for those who wanted to join in. I did. The guy who teaches stand-up prayed that things worked out so I can move to the area. After the prayer, he told me to contact him and he'd be able to get me some stage time at some small but hot rooms.


The instructor told the class that there was a free improv "cage match" at a club on Hollywood Blvd. The instructor's improv troop was scheduled to face the winner the next week, so they wanted to scope out the competition. Carly and I attended the show.


An improv cage match is quite simple. Two improv troops each have twenty minutes of freestyle improv. After both groups have performed, the audience votes for their favorite of the two troops. Winners continues next week. Losers walks.


The champion troop was so creative, innovative, and worked fairly clean to the point that I forgot that their troop's name was Freedom Snatch. They obliterated the other improv troop. Not that the challengers weren't amusing, but they merely maimed the audience while Freedom Snatch killed. Freedom Snatch won yet again for the unprecedented 33rd week in a row.


After some further conversation and email exchanges with the Monkey Butler folk, we headed back to the apartment. I had to get up early, get suited up again, and drive to companies to cold call and toss my resume to whomever owned eyes.


Day 4


It was Good Friday, but not good Friday. In observance of Good Friday, I fast. This Good Friday was no different, except that I usually am not this active on Good Friday. Needless to say, I had a pounding "FEED ME!" headache that lasted all day.


After showering and getting my suit on, I drove around LA to various studios and production companies in the area. Some places accepted my resume, but I assumed they just threw it away when I left. Some places I just left it with a receptionist. Some places I was stopped cold at the security gate. Some places I would drive to and it'd be some apartment building or house. I didn't even bother with those. If they can't afford a proper office, then they probably can't afford any employees.


I got back in the early afternoon, meeting up with Carly. I decided to treat the two of us to a movie over at the famous Arclight theater. It was quite large. We went and saw Observe and Report, the Seth Rogen mall cop film. While it had some funny scenes and Rogen was playing a slightly different character than "I'm a stoner that needs to face up to my responsibility" type that he's been given, I'd say pass on it.


Carly and I then met up with a friend of hers (a potential boyfriend) for pool. Carly kept asking me for my input regarding him and his motives. The guy was just as small as Carly is and with me being a big guy, he tried to make a good impression on me. He was trying to win me over by buying me drinks. It got to a point in which I think his goal was win me over instead of Carly. It worked. I gave him a thumbs up for Carly.


We had a great time shooting pool because we all equally sucked at the game. One game took probably almost an hour. Mind you we are three people, each with only five balls we to sink in for the win. It was pathetic, but a good time was had.


It was getting close to midnight and my head was killing me from lack of food. Stomach, too. We found a late night pizza joint and I pigged out while the other two tossed back a few. We head over to Carly's to watch a movie. I was tired and I knew they wanted some alone time, so I graciously left to get some sleep.


Day 5


I woke up late and putzed for a few hours. Carly was at work so I had the apartment to myself. After downloading "Sex on Fire" on my laptop since it was in my head, I heard it everywhere on the radio, and I liked it, I drove out over to Griffith Park with some In N' Out burgers.


The park was large and busy. Kids running around, birthday parties, cookouts, frisbees, touch football, merry go rounds, hustlers selling bootleg DVD's, and couples lying out on blankets holding each other with their jackets draped over their faces to hide the obvious. I found a good spot under a tree to read, meditate, pray, and eat hamburgers. After a couple of meaningful phone calls, I lied underneath the trees and looked at the sky. It'd been too long since I've been to a park.


After I had my fill with nature, I drove back to Sherman Oaks and walked around the busy streets filled with various shops and restaurants. I did little window shopping and got a couple books for the flight home, but it was nice to have a little bit of nature atmosphere and city atmosphere within one day. The whole thing reminded me of living in Athens in which I could walk around the town into various shops and then spend some time reading on a bench in one of the many green spots.


My evening was rather low-key. Carly and I were invited to a party hosted by a tattoo artist. While I do enjoy a rowdy time, I was still in a state of calm and didn't wish to disrupt it. I told Carly to go to the party and I hung out alone with my thoughts.


Day 6

My Easter and final full day in LA was restful. I woke up, read scripture, and ate eggs and Eggos until I was about to burst. Later in the day, Carly took me over to Venice Beach where masses of people were walking along with boardwalk. There were numerous artists displaying their paintings, jewelry, sculptures, and various metalwork sculptures. Street performers juggled, walked on stilts, or jumped on glass with their bare feet. Vendors shilled t-shirts, overpriced pizza, hotdogs, and ice cream. Panhandlers roamed for streets begging not for money, but for pot.

After gazing upon the busy marketplace of art, commerce, and ideals, we walked on the beach past muscle beach. No beefcake today on account of the Easter holiday. Trudging along on the beach in our shoes, we passed many rollerbladers, bicyclists, hacky-sackers, and frisbee throwing free-spirits.

I approached the Pacific Ocean and placed my hand in the water. This was the first time I had ever seen it. The sun's light bounced off the sea onto my face. Numerous writers state that gazing upon ocean humbles you and makes you think that it goes on forever. I always found that statement to be cliche. It's cliche because it's true.

Afterward, we went back to Carly's apartment. While she went to a meeting, I relaxed. She and her boy interest came over for Chinese food and a viewing of Run, Lola, Run. We have all seen the movie before so there was much talking over it and laughter. I conked out early. I had to be up at 5 AM for the flight home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that was trip to LA. I hope to be resident there fairly soon. With prayer, guidance, and the right people in my corner, it'll be a reality fairly shortly.




Friday, March 06, 2009

Barnes at the Movies: Watchmen

Barnes' Journal

March 6, 2009

Woke up feeling like a dog carcass that had a burst stomach. The movie theater is afraid of me. I have seen too many films. The seat aisles are extended gutters and the gutters are filled with spilt soda and dropped popcorn and when aisle is filled up, all the ushers will drown. The accumulated time, effort, drama, hype, controversy,and intrigue put into this film along with the sex, murder and fights will foam up to the director's and actors' waists. Through the movie they will shout, "Watch us!" ... and I'll look up, and whisper, "Gladly."

Watchmen is a movie that is not without controversy. The comic book (or graphic novel, if you want to sound snooty about it) came out in the 1980's and has been bandied about from studio to studio, director to director, and collecting dust in Hollywood for years. When notable director Terry Gilliam asked Watchmen author, Alan Moore, how to shoot it into a film back in the '80's, Moore bluntly and honestly answered, "I wouldn't." The trouble with merely shooting a deep, layered story was compounded with litigation regarding the movie rights to the material. Now after over 20 years, the dubbed "unfilmable" piece has been shot and ready for review.

Watchmen takes place in a dystopian 1985. Nixon is still President (he had multiple terms since the two term amendment was repealed), the formerly common sight of costumed vigilantes is cracked down by the government, and the world is on the brink of a nuclear holocaust due to the tensions between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. When a former colleague is murdered, the crazed masked vigilante Rorschach is trying to uncover who is behind the killing and the defamation of former heroes. However, there may be more to this mystery than just mere murder.

Like I do with other "based on" movies, I am going to look at the film on its own and not try not to compare it to the book. Alan Moore, who wants nothing to do with movie, would appreciate that. I will say that while the ending is different in the movie than in the written work, the meanings, aftermath, and character depictions/motivations remain intact. Picture ordering two cheeseburgers. Both have the same toppings with lettuce, tomato, onions, etc. Now imagine having ketchup on one burger and mustard on the other. That's the amount of difference between both works.

Zack Snyder, the man who did the gorgeous and gory 300, shot a beautiful looking film. The colors and CGI fit the tone and the environment. The costumes from the various periods of time (the film jumps from the '40's to '60's to '80's) were well done. Snyder's greatest strength is his ability to make anything ugly look beautiful and anything beautiful look more beautiful.

The acting was really well done. Each of the six main actors were able to flesh out their characters and provide lasting distinctions without falling prey to one dimension. The dialogue is 90% from the book which will make fanboys happy and serves credit to the original author, Moore.

Matthew Goode was the weakest performer as Ozymandias and based on the rest of the acting, that is hardly a knock. I don't really fault it to Goode too much because certain aspects of his character's personality were omitted from the script. He remains rather archetypical until the end of the film, but by the time he becomes interesting the film is over. I surprised that the movie plays close attention to the backgrounds of all the other characters, but doesn't give much or any exposition on Ozymandias alone. It sucks because I think his character is given the backseat compared to his comic book counterpart while the rest of the main mysterymen are given the full exposure treatment.

Malin Akerman properly portrays the second generation Silk Spectre/Laurie Jupiter. While she serves as eye candy, that is what her character is known for. Well, that plus mommy issues and kicking ass. She does pulls off those aspects very well and can act, so that's a win in my book.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a grand job as the gruff, sadistic Comedian. A less capable actor could easily fall into a violent one dimensional viewpoint in the character. However, Morgan was able to make this easily and understandably unlikeable character and turn him into a pitiful, almost sympathetic figure.

Billy Crudup, the biggest name in the film and that doesn't say much, was good as the stoic, God-like Dr. Manhattan. While Crudup's character does not really emote often and the CGI does most of the physical acting for him, the nuances in his facial expressions and subtle changes in his speech patterns help his portrayal. Crudup was aptly able to make Dr. Manhattan seen not as a cold person but an indifferent, almost naive man... that or a disinterested God.

Patrick Wilson is great as the second Nite Owl/Dan Dreiberg. He is able to be a girly, impotent pansy and is able to pull off being a badass at the same time. Now, I don't mean the Clark Kent/Superman immediate change from "aw, shucks" to "surrender, you thugs!" I mean that Wilson was able to show the nervousness of Dreiberg under the confident guise of Nite Owl even with the handicap of the Batman-esque mask and outfit. I expect to see great things out of Wilson in the future and I consider this to be a breakthrough performance for him.

Now to Jackie Earle Haley as the menacing, masked psycho Rorschach. This is Haley's most famous role since he was a kid actor in the original Bad News Bears. Much like how Mickey Rourke was Marv in Sin City, Haley is Rorschach. The build, the voice, and mannerisms all fit. The cold delivery, crazed demeanor, and the desperate emotional moments fit perfectly. Rorschach scared the crap out of me... and I couldn't help but root for him.

Fair warning to the squeamish and bashful. You will get an anatomy lesson from Watchmen. You will see naked people of both genders and a whole lot of nude Dr. Manhattan, complete with a CGI blue penis. Lots of CGI blue penis. You will also see a lot of the inner workings of the human body splattered across the walls; blood, bones, and all.

While most fanboys will complain about how this isn't page-for-page, word-for-word exactly like the book, I ask those guys, "What more can you want?" If you want something like that, get the "Watchmen Motion Comic" DVD. This is supposed to be something new and is a good homage to the source material. If anything, the movie has a ton of "Easter egg" moments that only fans of the book would understand. That would actually be one of my criticisms.

As you have read, I obviously enjoyed the film, however I do have some nit-picking. While I do like the "Easter egg" moments in the film, I think that those who haven't read the book may get lost in some moments. The film opens with the Minutemen (the original superheroes from the '40's) with their fates represented through various short, dialogue-less scenes. While it's nice for the die-hard fans, the regular viewing public might be lost in regards to who is who and after the film wonder "What's the point of seeing those guys? They didn't really effect most of the story or the ending."

Also, while I enjoyed the long, single character focused scenes because it is just like the comic and I am a die-hard fan, some may think that it slows down the overall story. Snyder did a good job smoothly transitioning between the main arc and the character exposition without it turning into "Let's pause for a moment and learn more about Dr. Manhattan." That being said, some who don't like to sit very long might think it adds unnecessary bulk to its near 3 hour runtime. This is the main reason (among others) that I thought Watchmen should have been an HBO miniseries instead of movie in order to view it smaller, distinct bites.

My biggest complaint is the soundtrack. While some songs work, many seem totally out of place and made me laugh at certain scenes in which laughter wasn't the goal. Dan and Laurie go to dinner with "99 Red Balloons" in the background. Rorschach and Nite Owl traveling to the arctic to Jimi Hendrix's "All Around the Watchtower" really perplexed me. So, the scene is in the 1980's featuring a song popular in the 1960's when earlier in the film there was a scene during the Vietnam War which didn't feature any '60's music. The songs themselves aren't bad (I kinda want to buy the soundtrack), but it really takes you out of the film. It's like the movie decided to put on the local rock radio station on in the background of each scene.

So in the end, Watchmen is worth watching. I recommend anybody to watch it, unless you are disinterested based on what I wrote. Just don't expect it to be a mainstream juggernaut like The Dark Knight. Who watches the Watchmen? You should.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Casual Conversing with Conan O'Brien

Yep.  I met Conan O'Brien.  It started as a typical Saturday with me waking up at 3 A.M. and doing three straight hours of news and a few news cut-ins until 10A.M.  I decided to hang out an extra few hours after work because Ernie said three words:  "Conan is coming."

After a few hours and a lunch,  he and his entourage consisting of random suits, his show's executive producer and his show's head writer entered the studio.  Conan emerged through his posse and proceeded to go around the room and shake everyone's hand.  He asked for names, too.  

He was built like a marionette with his torso making up 60% of his body, his head 20%, and his limbs at a meager 5% a piece.  While we are the same height (6'4") he towered over me due to an additional 2" from his mighty coiffed hair.  He dwarfed everyone in the room while looking like a stretched out elf.

Like with everyone, he approached me and reached out his hand.

"Hi.  Conan O'Brien."

I don't get star struck very much, but at the time all I could do was extend my hand and say, "Erik Barnes."  Dammit.  Just...  dammit.

He sat down and was interviewed by our head anchor, Jim Payne, for almost 20 minutes.  I sat down, legs crossed next to the camera and watched.  I felt like a little kid listening to his grandfather tell tales.  "Papa Conan, tell me a story!"
He then shot a few promos, plugging our station and reminding viewers that he's the new Tonight Show host.  

It was picture time.  A line formed with a mess of people wanting a photo with the Innovator of the String Dance.  

"Mr. O'Brien, do you have time for another photo?"

"Pfft.  'Mr. O'brien.' Come here."

Then one of my fears came to light.  As we posed for the photo above, a random crew member said, "This guy here is a stand-up comic."  Ugh.  Great.  I'm tired and I don't have my "A" game.

Conan turned and looked at me. 

"Really?"

"Well, I do a few shows here and there and I mostly work for beer."

"At this point, we are all working for beer."

We both smiled and I let the next person through. Pictures were finished.  Then came the alligators.

We went outside where some gators from the nearby Gatorland were waiting.  The two gator wranglers traveled in a large white van.  The kind of van that a mustached kidnapper would have.  One of the gator wranglers gave Conan a couple baby gators to hold.  Conan was fine with it.  Then the wranglers put the babies away and took out a three year old gator, which was around the size of border collie.  He gave the gator to Conan.  Conan announced to the crowd that he wet his pants.  The gator wrangler took the gator away and then the van drove off, revealing a seven foot long gator from behind.

This was a big gator.  The absent gator wrangler was apparently restraining the gator by sitting on its back and holding its jaw closed with his bare hands.  This man must have trouble buying pants due to the size of his balls.  The two gator wranglers asked Conan if he wanted to pet and wrestle the alligator.  "I'm fine here," stated the man responsible for the career of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

The shooting was over and Conan was being corralled toward the big van that brought him here.  Oddly enough, it was parked next to my car.  He thanked everyone for helping and coming by.  I took the opportunity to shake his hand again.

"Thanks for coming.  Hopefully, I'll be good enough to perform on your show someday."

"At this point, you are already halfway there."

That was cool.  He was probably just being a nice guy, but still.  It's cool to be motivated by one of your inspirations.    He got in the van and began to drove off.

Before I departed, I thanked my boss for allowing me to stick around.  He said he was glad I could stay.  

"Maybe you'll take over as host eventually."

"Let's not get crazy now.  There is a difference between dreams and delusions."

However, being a talk show host seems like a cool gig.  Hmm...

So to recap, I met my Pro Wrestling God in Ric Flair and I met my Comedy God in Conan O'Brien.  Now all I need to do is meet Batman and I'll have gazed upon the faces of my personal Triad of Pop Culture Deities.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

President Obama: Day One or Re-The Hell-Lax America

When I worked as a social worker in Cincinnati, we were required to have a performance review every 3 months.  I had a rough time at the job.  I had experience dealing with people and odd personalities, but the first few weeks were touch and go.  Quite frankly, I sucked.  I wasn't doing the job very well.  Another person was hired a few days before I was.  She did very well at the beginning and was getting compliments from my boss.  She had a bright looking career.  

Then as time went by, I got better and better.  I wasn't a prodigy or anything like that, but I didn't suck.  I noticed my colleague was slacking and coasting or just plain failing more and more each week.  Three months later, I was told that I did a horrid job at the beginning, but towards the second half of the time period I did well.  I noticed my colleague wasn't there and asked my boss where she was.  She was let go.  My point is that if my coworker was judged by her first few weeks, she'd be a supervisor candidate.  If I was judged by my first few weeks, I would have been fired.

I watched the inauguration yesterday and it was indeed quite the spectacle.  I know a good chunk of my readers are on the right end of the political scale, but I have a confession...I voted for Barack.  There.  I said it.

My reasons?  They are my own.  If you really want to know, email me.  Like I have mentioned before,  most of the time I don't care for political debate because nine times out of ten I'll get pigeonholed into a group I don't subscribe to due to the party association with a group I actually do belong to.  Just because I like coffee doesn't mean I like chai latte.  You dig?

That being said, I will openly state that I grow weary of both sides of the Obameter.  While the Obama rhetoric is very hopeful, feel-good, and (in my opinion) is genuinely boosting morale in our country, let's not mint him on our money yet.  He is a great speaker and I admire his wordsmithery.  Now, get those words to work.  While I seem to think he will be proactive, he has yet to accomplish anything on a large scale.  So let us not judge him from what he has done.  He hasn't done anything.

On the other end, many are cutting him off at the knees.  While he hasn't done anything, that doesn't mean can't do anything.  Rookies have won championships.  McCain, in full class, asked his supporters to support his opponent in his concession speech.  Those who did vote for McCain would be doing a disservice to not give Obama a chance before his first 100 days are up.  Don't blame him or get mad yet.  He hasn't done anything.

That's the gist of the whole scenario.  He hasn't done anything.  So re-the hell-lax.  Don't nominate him for New Jesus.  Don't propose a witch hunt.  He's not a good president...yet.  He's not a bad president...yet.  He's just our president.  Let's sit back and see how he does his new job.  After 100 days, then we can give a performance review.  Then we can clearly see whether to promote him or fire him.

Friday, January 02, 2009

A Note to Women who Post Personal Ads on Craigslist

So I'm not dating or anything nor am I on E-Harmony or Match.com or anything like that (no money to subscribe among other reasons), but today I looked around the personal ads on craigslist just out of curiosity.  There are a few that I might email or whatnot, but for the most part I wonder if these women are even really trying.  Here are a few tips for W seeking M for their posts:
-  Using terms like "seeks Sugar Daddy" or "wants to be spoiled" and excessive use of "$$$" will not help you.  It screams the word "succubus" and any idiot who replies to that deserves poverty.
-  writinginrunonsentencesliketheone I amtyping here makes me thinkyou haveno education /:?
-  It's nice to write down "I like horseback riding" but saying "I go horseback riding at the downs on my black Stallion, Pepper" is better.  
-  If you only write "I go horseback riding at the downs on my black Stallion, Pepper" and nothing else about yourself or interests, then congratulations.  You are a one dimensional character in a children's learn-to-read book.
-  "I live life to the fullest!".... this is the part that where you tell me how.
-  "I like movies"  Who doesn't?  Gimme some favorite flicks.
-  If your headline says "24 yr old" and the content of your ad says, "I'm a 20 year old college student," it tells me you are either a bot, stupid, or a liar.  FAIL.
-  Biggest lie on the internet:  "I don't like playing games."
-  If you include a pic in your ad, don't use a group photo.  Common sense apparently is a limited resource like oil.
-  Boyfriend applications?  You are trying to tell me who you are.  If I'm that bored, I'll go to Quizilla.
-  "I'm open minded... Please no black men." = contradiction

This is why I hate dating crap.  Meh.  On second thought, I'd rather take my chances trying the old fashioned way.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Barnes at the Movies: The Spirit

The Spirit is the solo directorial debut of comics mad genius Frank Miller, following up his co-directorial credential of his creator owned property Sin City.  Miller as a screenwriter and director introduced a genre I have yet to encounter:  campy noir.

The Spirit is based off the character and comic book of the same name written and drawn not by Miller, but his contemporary and funny book deity Will Eisner.  Those of you who are familiar with the Spirit character/story and expect tight correlation with the source material will have to save your breath.  Among the numerous creative liberties, the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson ) was never even seen in the comic book aside from his "Mickey Mouse" gloves.  But we are not talking about whether the movie is true to its source, we are talking about the work on its own merit.

Gabriel Macht plays The Spirit, the masked, fedora donned crusader of Central City with an innate ability to heal from fatal wounds and escape the clutches of death (personified as a woman named Lorelei played by Jaime King).  The Spirit attempts to foil and put an end to the criminal kingpin, The Octopus and his right hand woman, Silken Floss (Scarlett Johannson).  While on the hunt for the Octopus, he must also contend with the return of Sand Saref (the "what-God-have-I-pleased?" Eva Mendes) a childhood love of the Spirit's true identity, Denny Colt, who is a renowned jewel thief.  With the often-frustrating, but genuine support of Commissioner Dolan and the commish's daughter, Ellen, can the Spirit over come his emotions involving Sand, defeat the Octopus, and come to terms with the source of his powers?

Gabriel Macht is confusing as the Spirit.  It's hard for me to judge his performance and line delivery since his character is so hard boiled yet his lines are so comical.  I have a hard time figuring out how he delivered the line "I'm gonna kill you all sorts of dead" without a smirk on his face.  It's not that he's not a capable actor, but with the material it's hard to tell what supposed to be a joke or what's supposed to be gritty.

All the women in the film are dressed in tight clothes, cleavage spilling and backsides peeking out under their skirts.  Johannson's Floss is the most entertaining with her deadpan delivery and ridiculous outfits that make her look like the world's strictest, sexiest librarian.  I'd pay the overdue fees gladly.  Mendes does a decent job as Sand and the rest of the female cast deliver decent performances, but make no mistake, the women in this film are for image first and acting second.  There is so much eye candy, your eyes will get diabetes.

The scene stealer is Sam Jackson, whose Octopus is Jules from Pulp Fiction with the volume and silliness turned up to the max.  The outfits and the character's odd fascination with eggs are as gonzo as anything Hunter S. Thompson has ever experienced.

The real star of the film is none of the actors, but the CG and cinematography.  The film is very artsy and an a visual orgy of distortion, faded colors, harsh black and white, soft lighting, and striking colors.  By the trailers and everything else, it begs to be compared to Sin City in terms of the look and, quite frankly, it totally rips off the style, however there are scenes that splash with color.  I'm just impressed that they were able to flow in color in and out so seamlessly that it doesn't take the audience out the film.  It just fits.

To nit-pick, the dialogue is fairly corny and sounds like what Frank Miller would write if he was asked to make Sin City a comedy.  The fight scenes are over the top and downright goofy which make you wonder what you were watching (Watch out for the toilet).  Fans of comic books can definitely tell this has Miller's mark all over it due to his then-revolutionary-counter-comic-culture-now-geez-Frank-this-again sexy vixens, hardcore violence, and random Nazi paraphernalia.  Comic fans will also enjoy certain references to the comic book culture (Miller acts in the beginning of the film and a truck reading "Ditko Deliveries" named after esteemed artist Steve Ditko frequents the movie).  It's hard to discern the mood that Miller is trying to get by making such a dark looking film with moments of gritty inner monologues while contrasting it with the slapsticky fights and cheese.  

Is it a good movie?  No, but it's not a bad movie.  If you want striking images and look at film as an artistic medium, The Spirit is a great film visually and shows how art and technology have truly intertwined.  As a story, it's brainless and there is a lot of smiling and nodding with the plot.  Is it fun?  Well, it depends on your definition of fun.  I can turn off my brain and enjoy the visuals, artistic or exploitive.  If you can't, then it probably isn't for you.

Vacation...now what?

So in a few weeks, I'm going on a short four day break... but I don't know what I should do with my time.  So please comment, email, and facebook me any suggestions you may have.  Two things though:
1.  No suggestions regarding flying (can't afford a plane ticket right now)
2.  No car trips longer than 2 1/2 hours.

So please, do give me some tips.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Merry Christmas...in January, February, March, etc.

So I am working on Christmas and I won't be spending it with my family in Ohio, except possibly via Skype, but I'm not bothered by it.  Christmas isn't a big deal.

Sure we spend it giving gifts to our friends...but we should do that when we want to make them special regardless of time of year.

We also spread the message of good cheer to our fellow man...but we can do that every day.

We like to participate in charities, toy drives, and food bank replenishings...but they need help 11 other months in the year.

We reconnect with various extended family members...which we could do with a phone call or scheduled visit. 

We tell our immediate family members how much they matter to us...but we can and should do that daily.

We go out of our way as a community to provide fun activities for kids...which needs no provocation or reason.

We go to church...which could be a weekly instead of an annual tradition.

We celebrate the birth of Christ...which shouldn't be pigeonholed on December 25th and could be celebrated daily.

I guess my point is that Christmas is something that needs to be practiced and celebrated every day of the year and not just focused the period between Thanksgiving and New Years Day.  Christmas should not be special.  It should become ordinary.  Imagine how the world would be when Christmas is something practiced so frequently that it is taken for granted.  

So I wish you all a Merry Christmas...every day of the week.




Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Thoughts from a Hugger

My name is Erik Barnes and I am a hugger.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  I hug indiscriminately.  Relatives, women, men, kids, and sometimes strangers.  I hug.  It may not be macho, but it's me.

I like all kinds of hugs.  The open armed embrace.  The "bro-clasped-hands-pull-in" hug.  The old friend embrace complete with the three-pat "I'm-not-gay" on the back.  The tight, near-death clutch for when a person is depressed or leaving.  The tight "welcome back" hug.  The lovers' blanket.  I've done them all and they are all special.

Is this important to me or merely a preference?  After spending year in Florida, I've come to realize that hugs are not just important to me.  I need them.

In Ohio growing up, my parents spoiled me with them.  For every scraped knee, Christmas "thank you," hurt feeling, shared joy, crippling depression, or "just because" there was hug from both of them.  It also expanded to my friends.  Whenever dark secrets were told, embarrassing stories exposed, pains revealed, happy or sad tears are shed, or "come-here-you-big-lug" was uttered a hug wasn't too far behind.

But here?  I've noticed myself change, as we all do.  I found myself progressing and growing forward in positive directions, but still a little down a good chunk of the past year.  Last week, one of my new friends surprised me with a hug.  It felt...foreign.  I liked it and welcomed it, but I didn't have human contact like that in so long that it was as if it was the first time.

For me, hugs are necessary.  Obviously not make others uncomfortable or force it upon them, but they are necessary.  I guess a hug is like an anchor for me.  The person grabbing me is keeping me to the earth, preventing me from being drifted away  due to my nearly endless thoughts, concerns, ideas, anxieties, worries, and guilt.  The hug gives me pause, reflection, and lets me know that another person knows, understands, and wakes me from my murky gloom or adds to the joy I have.  This non-verbal gesture says more than any written tongue can express.  At least, that's why I hug other people and let others hug me.

People have their quirks.  I guess that's one of mine.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Barnes at the Movies: 007: Quantum of Solace

I have a heterosexual man-commitment towards James Bond.  I dabble with Jack Bauer.  I do flirt with the idea of John McClane.  However, my hetero-heart belongs to 007.  Therefore, whenever there is a Bond film, I am in the theater and I have great expectations.  While the franchise has had its ups and downs, they aren't bad films.  A bad Bond film usually beats a mediocre movie any day.  Quantum of Solace isn't a bad movie nor is it the worst Bond movie.  It was like a Bond girl:  fun for the time being, but ultimately forgettable.

Quantum of Solace is a direct sequel to the rebooted Casino Royale, with Daniel Craig returning as 007.  Bond, M (Judi Dench), and the rest of MI6 are trying to unfurl a secret criminal organization that is so well hidden that even members of MI6 are involved.  Bond is still angry and brooding over the loss of his love from the previous film, Vesper, and his mouth testifies "business" while his actions scream "vengeance."  While bodies lie in Bond's wake, there is the fear that he has gone rogue, with Bond investigating the true intentions of a non-profit environmental organization while being hunted by his employers.

Daniel Craig is a great Bond.  Time will tell if he will be the best, but I put him at #3 behind Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan for now.  While the point of the film was that Bond was trying to sequester his emotions to do his duty, I found that there were scenes in which Craig was too stone-faced.  Many scenes looked liked he was bored, not being cool or cold.  Judi Dench was great as the returning M and Jeffrey Wright was good returning as Bond's American ally, Felix Leiter.  The performances overall were pretty good.

The story, however, left me wanting.  I understand this is Bond's quest for revenge, but this wasn't a lot different than the Jason Bourne franchise.  One of the things that separates the Bond franchise from other films in the genre are the quiet moments.  Moments in which Bond is in a mind game with his opposition whether it'd be a card game, death trap, debate or whatever.  This movie had none of those quiet moments and if they did, they were so short that one can miss them.  The purpose of those moments is to appreciate the cerebral aspect of espionage and cleverness of Bond along with making the action scenes more memorable by spreading them out throughout the film.  

However, if you are going to do nonstop action, at least shoot it and edit it well.  The ideas behind the action scenes are pretty inventive (a gunfight on top of wiggly scaffolding?  Cool!), but I hated how it was put together.  There were many extreme close-ups, jump cuts, and shaky camerawork that it left the audience disoriented and confused.  

Is that Bond's hand reaching for the gun?  Was that the handbrake?  Which color was Bond's car again?  It left the audience thinking, "That was cool...what happened?"  I know that intent was to make the audience feel like they were in the moment with the character, but all it does is make the audience try to decipher what just occurred and while they do that, they don't pay attention to the next course of action which makes them think that they missed something cool which makes them aggravated.  Not that I'm nitpicking or venting.

That's not to say that I didn't like the movie.  It was worth my money and my time, assuming this movie was a necessary step to let the Bond character grow for the next film.  Bottom line:  Quantum of Solace is a mediocre James Bond movie, but an awesome Jason Bourne film.  I just hope that if a third Craig 007 movie is made that the camerawork would be less shaken and the plot more stirring. 



Random Prediction:  If they do decide to as "Q" as a character to the franchise reboot, I predict Simon Pegg will get the role.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Flashbacking

It was one of my better summers. I was about to head into the 7th grade while she was about to be a freshman in high school. I first got to know her while working on school newspaper the previous year, exchanging friendly "hellos," "how's it goin's," and "did you see Seinfeld last nights?" She laughed at that cartoons I drew, so that was good enough for me. I figured she'd just be one of those school friends, the kind you hang out with during 7:45AM-2:32PM Monday through Friday except in the months of June, July, and August. It would be an epiphany for both of us that she lived a few streets down from me and also went to the community center swimming pool.

On a hot day, we got reacquainted there. The days that followed, we swam about, hung out, and talked at the pool. She'd occasionally want to lay out in the sun. I'd sometimes join her, having the dry, prickly grass poke through towel and scratch my back. Who was I kidding? With my skin type, I was just inviting melanoma. At the time though, I wouldn't have it any other way.

She was tall and slender with skin that was a caramel bronze and smooth to touch. Her eyes were a striking hazel and she had a pearly, toothy grin. She had a goofy but contagious laugh, which would include an embarrassing snort. It was my goal to make her snort every time we crossed paths.

The rest of the summer consisted of splashing in the pool, wrestling around, and games of chicken with other kids. My cross country coach happened to be the lifeguard and would jokingly call our playing "PDA" just to embarrass me. It worked.

Unfortunately, she had to move away to another school. Parents divorcing and custody battles tend to screw good things up. During the oncoming school year, we'd call each other from time to time, venting on crappy relationships, family issues, and the like. The following summer, she came back for a time to stay with her dad on her old street and she wanted to catch up. Hmph, she decided to wear her glasses. I don't remember what activity we did. Honestly, I don't think it matters.

It was dark and we hung out on my porch. She needed to get home. I walked her. We continued to talk until we got to the front of her house. I gave her a long hug and palmed her head. Her soft, pitch black hair slid between my fingers. She then moved in and our mouths met. It came out of left field, but I liked it.

Okay, this is good, really good, so good, don't be weird, don't be weird, don't be weird, don't be weird, okay, okay, okay, her tongue is in your mouth so I think that means yours needs at least meet her halfway, that's too far, TOO FAR, DON'T CHOKE HER, BACK OFF, there you go, okay, it seems silly to leave it there, maybe I need to rotate it, clockwise?, counterclockwise?, freestyle it is then, aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd we're done.

She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. She poked me in the belly, playfully teased me, and walked inside. My face was locked into a smile. We promised to stay in touch. As years passed, phone calls were less on both ends. After she graduated, she moved out of state to tour with her band and since I was still in high school, we ultimately lost touch. It's fine. It wouldn't of worked out well in the end anyway.

That's the story of my first kiss. I don't know why I blogged this nor do I think you'd care, but it might be an interesting story to read to kill time. I found it therapeutic to reminisce I guess. In any case, new movie reviews soon.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Barnes at the Movies: Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno is film by cult favorite writer/director Kevin Smith of Clerks and Chasing Amy fame. After dabbling in various projects and revisiting old ground in Clerks 2, Smith weaned himself off familiar characters Jay and Silent Bob and the setting of New Jersey for frosty Pittsburgh and a new duo Zack (the now overexposed Seth Rogen) and Miri ("oh, yeah, that one girl from..."Elizabeth Banks). Zack and Miri are lifelong friends, first meeting in grade school, living together in a beat-up apartment. When financial duress and overdue bills pile up to the point that electricity and water are shut off, they search for methods to get rich quick before they become homeless. The solution? Make a porno and sell it to their old high school classmates from the alumni mailing list.

As expected from the title, the movie contains copious amounts of frontal nudity, backal nudity, upwards nudity, downwards nudity, and sideways nudity. Fortunately, no inside-out nudity or else it'd be rated NC-17...or be a PBS educational film. However with the all the nakedness and language that'd make R. Lee Ermey pee himself, there lies a sweet, complicated love story. As the moment comes when Zack and Miri have sex for the first time ever (on camera, no less), it becomes apparent that while they intended on "fucking for money" they ended up making love.

Rogen within most of his films seems to play the exact same character to the point of exhaustion. I cannot distinguish Zack from Dale Denton (Pineapple Express) or Ben Stone (Knocked Up) in any way aside from their names. That being said, Rogen does Zack justice being able to emote proper restrained anger and sadness when needed. The guy shows that he can act, but it always takes a back seat to him shooting off ab-libbed one liners.

Elizabeth Banks does a great job as Miri, a beautiful tomboy. She does well playing off the close, platonic friend (take it from me, it's a situation that I have great familiarity with), however she didn't win me over until one pivotal scene in which she hands Zack over on a silver platter to her porno co-star Stacey (Katie Morgan).

The real stand-out in the movie is Craig Robinson (Darryl from the warehouse in The Office). I don't know if it's because of his great comedic delivery or that he got better material than most of the cast, but he sticks out and it's not because he's the only black man in the film. As Delaney, he was able to both be comical and issue some grand knowledge on our young Zack.

Rounding out the main cast is current porn actress Katie Morgan as the dim Stacey and former porn icon Traci Lords as appropriately named Bubbles, along with Smith's mainstay actors Jeff Anderson and Jason Mewes as Deacon and Lester. Nothing much to be said about the porn actresses since they are essentially playing themselves but dimmer. Nothing much said about Anderson since he's essentially playing Randal from Clerks as an amateur cameraman. Nothing much for Mewes since he's pretty much playing Jay from previous movies only without the long hair and weed references.

Smith himself has stated that he isn't much of cinematographer and nothing has really changed in that direction. However, he did rise to the occasion in two pivotal scenes: when Zack and Miri make love and when Miri hands Zack over with great close ups and pacing of the shots, but the actors' performances gave the shots a huge assist.

Overall, I enjoyed Z&M. As a comedy it falls short of big belly laughs resulting from typical "dick and fart jokes" Smith usually places in the dialogue of his films, but as a crude, off-beat romance it does very well for me. While if you were ask me to present a better comedy from Smith, I'd side with his much older works. Also, if you were to ask me to present a better romance from him, I'd suggest Chasing Amy. In the long run though, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a good addition to Smith's filmography, due to the familar-to-us-but-usually-sugar-coated-in-movies relationship between the main characters, but falls short of being a stand-out in his body of work. So if you like Smith's past stuff and aren't bothered by naked people, check it out. If you are bothered by it, then you probably already made up your mind not to see it based on the title of the film alone.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Barnesharmonymatch.com.org.tv : President Andrew

Future President Andrew Stewart is a grand gentleman, full of gumption and drive. He is a dedicated conservative, serving the RNC and assisting the Bush administration. That is not to say that he is a blind follower, he creates his own opinions or reasons. Even if you do not agree with his viewpoint, any argument he makes is valid and educated. While usually a quiet man, he possesses a grand wit and is a great conversationalist once you get to know him. Karl Rove swore at him and President Bush gave him a pep talk. He has great ambition and puts full effort into everything he does. He's a fun guy and a handsome man at that. So if any female out there has any aspirations to become a First Lady in their lifetime, I guide you toward our future President Elect Andrew Stewart.

For Jenny Taylor

Jenny,
I haven't seen it, but by most reviews, Role Models looks to be a type of flick you would like. I liked Zack and Miri Make a Porno (check out a review later) but I'm not sure it's your cup of tea. Peace.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Junk Drawer/A Little Help

Hey all.
I wanted to write a blog today, but...I'm drawing a blank. I like doing the movie reviews, but I don't want to turn this blog into solely that. I just don't know what to write about aside from random thoughts, rants/lists. So ask you, my reading audience, please either via email or the comments section give me topics to write about or what you'd like my opinion on. I know that there are more people that read this blog than comment on it, so please stop being quiet about it and shoot me a response in some way. Even you don't have any suggestions, send me something to know if you are still reading this blog if for no reason than to have me acknowledge that you are still alive.
I await any and all feedback. Have a list of randomness:
- I miss MST3K.
- I can't wait until after the first 100 days of the Obama administration to see if the honeymoon period with the media is over.
- My job is making me bored, doesn't provide much, and doesn't allow much of a social life. Therefore, pray for all these things.
- I need a better creative outlet since many comedy clubs and open mics are closing up shop down here.
- Every time I see President Bush on TV talking, his mind is actually saying, "Two more months, two more months, two more months..."
- Every time I see a member of the news media or comedy circuit see/talk about Bush, their brains are actually saying, "Two more months, two more months, two more months..."
- A saw a commercial featuring a couple in their 60's getting married in a park. The product? Depends. That's when my brain exploded into macaroni salad within the serving bowl that is my skull. Which begs the question that I ask you, my readers, what brand of diaper would you wear to your wedding?
- I'd like to have a dog, but I don't have the money or the time to properly take care of it.
- So many people my age are having kids (on purpose!). I love kids, but in your 20's? Whatever works for you, I guess.
- I never realized how hard it is to find good wrestling fan friends. Many people who I run into are a) hard to converse with because they think it's real/are really drunks in disguise or b) hard to converse with because they pick apart the product to the point that they aren't enjoying themselves and it kills the mood. To give a more broader perspective, it's like finding a good film friend to watch good movies with: there are some who don't want to watch Citizen Kane because they are all about the Good Burger and then there those who believe if it isn't directed by Lars Von Trier then it is shit.

That's it for now. Peace.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Compartmentalizing my Mini-Vacation

I have a mini-vacation coming up due to that I need to use up my vacation days before the new year (they don't carry over) and I know that I won't be able to use them during sweeps and the holidays. I figured that I'd get some stuff done/fun during my four day weekend. In lieu of a day planner, I'll just use this blog space.

Saturday, October 25th
10:00am- Get free from work.
11:30am- Get last minute items.
12:30pm-4:00pm- Eat and nap.
4:00pm- 6:30pm- Last minute cleaning.
7:00pm- ?- Bru-ha-ha.

Sunday, October 26th
8:00am- Wake up in order to work out.
8:01am- "Who am I kidding?"
10:30am- Actually getting out of bed with the intention of working out.
10:35am- Realize that I need breakfast, cooking some, wolf it down, and realize that I need to wait an hour for digestion.
11:40am-2:30pm- Working out.
3:30pm- Reading comics, writing comedy, drinking coffee at a cafe.
4:30pm- Cross out any comedy ideas that I have second thoughts about, call my brothers.
5:45pm- Go to MovieStop and make an exchange for new (at least to me) movies.
7:30pm- Go to Hooters, ignore the hooligans, tolerate the food, being extra patient with the wait staff, and enjoying WWE Cyber Sunday while calling Cincy buds.
11:30pm- Arrive home and go to sleep.

Monday, October 27th
8:00am- Wake up and work out for real.
11:00am- Go to Coldstone and get a pint of a customized flavor and get some Yuengling beer.
11:30am-2:00pm- Cook and eat breakfast while writing my script.
2:00pm-4:00pm- Explore other opportunities.
4:00pm-5:00pm- Send a mass email update and email my anchor friend, Raoul.
5:00pm-8:00pm- Have dinner, watch Fox shows online that I missed from the night before.
9:00pm- Watch WWE RAW while taping Heroes.
11:08pm- Watch the taped Heroes.
12:00am- Download Wrestling Observer Radio and fall asleep listening to it.

Tuesday, October 28th
8:30am-11:30pm- Wake up, download Wrestling Observer Radio and the Bryan and Vinny Show onto my MP3 player, and work out.
11:30am-11:48am Go to Autozone and find out what's broken in my car (it takes 1-9 attempts to start it).
11:49am-12:00pm- Cuss and not get it fixed because I can't afford it.
12:30pm- Explore opportunities. Realize that they are still harping on the Last Comic Sitting contest at the Why Not Lounge and decide not to go this week because I wouldn't get on stage until probably 11:30pm.
2:30pm- 4:00pm- Write some of my script.
4:00pm- 4:29pm- Order a Papa John's Pizza with a side of bacon cheesy bread.
4:30pm- 11:59pm- Gorge on pizza, beer, and ice cream while having a Kurosawa one-two punch viewing of Seven Samurai and Yojimbo.
12:00am- Bed.

Wednesday, Oct. 29th
8:30am- 12:00pm- Breakfast and work out.
12:30pm-3:29pm- Make a lunch, get a book, get my comedy notebook, and go to Loch Haven park to read, write, eat, and meditate.
3:30pm-4:29pm- Head home to beat traffic.
4:30pm- ?- Nap, dinner, and putz around the internet before bed.

Thursday, Oct. 30th
3:15am- Get up and get back to work.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Barnes at the Movies: W.

"What'd you think?"
"I liked it."
"Me too."
"It didn't really bash Bush."
"I know, he was a goof at some points, but not a total moron. I'm pleasantly surprised."
"Actually, it made me feel sorry for the guy."

That exchange was between me and one of my co-worker friends (who is a hardcore Obama supporter) after we saw the film, W. I include this exchange because I think it best describes what the film's depiction of our 43rd president was all about. However, I believe that the film will still get flack from both sides of the party line. Many republicans will hate the film because they think the president was depicted as too much of a buffoon. Numerous democrats will criticize the film because they'll feel that the movie sympathizes with Bush too much and doesn't portray him as an evil idiot. In the film a young Laura Bush (Elizabeth Banks) tells W. (Josh Brolin) when they first meet that he's "a devil in a white hat." Not pure good. Not pure evil. Sounds like a human, doesn't it?

I was curious to see this movie because of three reasons. One, Oliver Stone's past conspiracy-laced films (JFK anyone?) intrigued me to see how biased he'd portray one of the most polarizing presidents in recent history. Two, with the correct makeup, Josh Brolin looked so much like W. that it creeps me out. And three, unless I am mistaken, this is the first film about a president being released while still being in office. Curiousity had beaten my wallet.

W. follows the adult life of our current president, George W. Bush, Jr., going from his college days to weeks after the "Mission Accomplished" speech on the aircraft carrier following the successful occupation of Iraq. The character of W. is toiling with what to do with his life while not getting the best grades and engaging in rowdy drinking. While struggling with his alcoholism, Jr. is trying to juggle the problems of trying to win the favor of George "Poppy" Bush, Sr. (James Cromwell), competing for parental affection with his more scholastic brother, Jeb, and trying to live up to the high standards that the Bush family clings to. We see George W. Bush struggle and grow from being "Junior" to "W." to "Mr. President."

The depiction of W. is a man of simple pleasures, simple desires, simple education, and poor speaking skills with big ambition, never back down attitude, and big faith. In any other family, this W. would be on the ranch during the day, drink beer all night, and fish on the weekends when not making time with the missus rather than be a politician. In fact, he'd be much happier that way. The crux of the film is that W. is a man that didn't know what he wanted as a young man, tried to live up to his family's idea of what success is rather than finding his own definition, and finding himself in over his head and unhappy when he rises to the top. All of this while trying to do what he thinks is the right thing and what God wants him to do.

The plot is about George W. Bush, the man. The Iraq conflict and 9/11 are referenced, but are backdrops not plot points. The snafus during the 2000 election aren't referenced at all. This movie is not focused on his politics. It focused on the man. That's why I liked it. It didn't preach loudly towards the right or left.

Josh Brolin does a fantastic job as the president and deserves an Oscar. His portrayal is dead-on in both delivery and even body movement. When W. is supposed to be charming and befuddled, he does it well without going into a cartoony-SNL-sketch comedy vein. When W. is supposed to be serious and smart, he pulls it off and makes it believable.

The rest of Bush's inner circle are portrayed very well. Jeffrey Wright's Colin Powell comes off looking like a hero and makes the audience wonder "why didn't he run for president." If there are any villains in this film it would arguably be Scott Glenn's Donald Rumsfeld, but definitely Richard Dreyfuss' Dick Cheney. In many scenes, Cheney is depicted as cold, manipulative and the little devil whispering in W.'s ear while the angel on W.'s other shoulder stutters.

The soundtrack and look of the film do it justice. Nothing dark and dreary, nothing goofy. It all fits the mood. There are parts in which we laugh at W. (remember when he choked on a pretzel?), but ultimately the audience will look at Bush as not an evil mastermind nor a great man. Not a pure idiot, not good stock from an affluent American family. Just a...human. This human just happens to be the president. The focus of the next generation is to surpass the previous ones, sons to surpass their fathers. This one did what he could to do that, but was ultimately unhappy.

So check out it. It won't share space on my DVD shelf once it leaves theaters, but it is good story. Fact? Debatable. Story? Definitely.

Monday, October 06, 2008

An Open Letter to Those Who Lead Contemporary Worship at Church

Dear Worship Leader(s),
Don't take this as an attack, but there are many things that you might be doing that throw off/put off people when they come to worship God. Here are a few notes, which may or may not apply to you:
1. Your mic does not need to be that loud. When you belt out the high notes you are drowning out everything else and (if you are female) you are killing my eardrums. Yahweh no longer requires blood sacrifices, especially trickling from human orifices.
2. WE are singing. WE. ALL OF US. You are privileged and given the awesome honor to lead all of us in praising God. We are not here to see your concert.
3. When you have a giant projection with the lyrics of the song on the wall it is totally unnecessary to quickly, verbally announce the upcoming verse before singing it while in song. Example: A-ma-zing grace, how-sweet-the-sound, how-swee-t the sound, that-saved-a-wretch, that say-ved a wretch, etc. We know how to read and it disrupts the flow.
4. It is unnecessary to stretch a four minute song to ten minutes. It's not just a time thing, but after repeating the same chorus over and over it turns from an intentional thought of praise to God into a mindless mantra we chant while wondering where to go out to eat after the service.
5. Stop playing U2 songs. I do like some of them, but they were never meant to be praise music. Either that or give equal time to other mainstream bands with spiritual material. I have a couple of metal/hard rock songs in mind if you want suggestions. Otherwise, lose them.
6. Does the male worship leader have to sing tenor? And play an acoustic guitar? Nothing against those guys personally, but it'd be less homogenized to see the baritone drummer or harmonica player take the lead sometime. I'd like to match notes with the guy, not feel like I'm trying to mimic Jack Johnson.
7. Don't be afraid of silence. Maybe tell the band that prayer time doesn't always need a soundtrack behind it.

Thank you for your consideration and correction. Or thank you for praying for my, probably according to some of you, "bitter and unenlightened soul."

Peace.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Random Thoughts Since 90% of My Blogs the Past Four Months Are Really Movie Reviews

- My new favorite debate show is Lewis Black's Root of All Evil.
- You will have to bribe me in order to go to the Holy Land Experience.
- I need to save money for a plane ticket to Japan.
- I need to save money for a plane ticket to California.
- I need to save money for a new computer.
- I need to save money.
- Or I need a better job.
- I need to investigate any Bible studies at my church.
- I need to attend services at my church.
- Fix the economy please.
- If I had the Hulk-like strength, I would powerbomb my car for all the frustration and wallet eating it has done the past month.
- I've never been so happy with politics then when Jim Lehrer forced both candidates to talk to each other as opposed to delivering speeches in front of each other like they did in the 2004 and 2000 debates.
- I said Sarah Palin looked like Tina Fey a two days before the press and SNL did.
- I need to finish my script.
- I never realized how disinterested I am in watching sports on TV.
- If I didn't have cable included with my regular rent, I wouldn't have it. I'd be able to watch all my shows on the internet...which oddly, is what I end up doing anyway.
- Every time I see President Bush on TV he looks like he is just repeating, "Only four more months to go, only four more months to go," in an endless cycle in his head.
- I wish I was back in Ohio just so I can register to vote and vote at the same time.
- I can't believe I just said, "I wish I was back in Ohio." *disclaimer- this excludes statements that have to do with visitation with family/friends.