Thoughts from a Hugger

My name is Erik Barnes and I am a hugger.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  I hug indiscriminately.  Relatives, women, men, kids, and sometimes strangers.  I hug.  It may not be macho, but it's me.

I like all kinds of hugs.  The open armed embrace.  The "bro-clasped-hands-pull-in" hug.  The old friend embrace complete with the three-pat "I'm-not-gay" on the back.  The tight, near-death clutch for when a person is depressed or leaving.  The tight "welcome back" hug.  The lovers' blanket.  I've done them all and they are all special.

Is this important to me or merely a preference?  After spending year in Florida, I've come to realize that hugs are not just important to me.  I need them.

In Ohio growing up, my parents spoiled me with them.  For every scraped knee, Christmas "thank you," hurt feeling, shared joy, crippling depression, or "just because" there was hug from both of them.  It also expanded to my friends.  Whenever dark secrets were told, embarrassing stories exposed, pains revealed, happy or sad tears are shed, or "come-here-you-big-lug" was uttered a hug wasn't too far behind.

But here?  I've noticed myself change, as we all do.  I found myself progressing and growing forward in positive directions, but still a little down a good chunk of the past year.  Last week, one of my new friends surprised me with a hug.  It felt...foreign.  I liked it and welcomed it, but I didn't have human contact like that in so long that it was as if it was the first time.

For me, hugs are necessary.  Obviously not make others uncomfortable or force it upon them, but they are necessary.  I guess a hug is like an anchor for me.  The person grabbing me is keeping me to the earth, preventing me from being drifted away  due to my nearly endless thoughts, concerns, ideas, anxieties, worries, and guilt.  The hug gives me pause, reflection, and lets me know that another person knows, understands, and wakes me from my murky gloom or adds to the joy I have.  This non-verbal gesture says more than any written tongue can express.  At least, that's why I hug other people and let others hug me.

People have their quirks.  I guess that's one of mine.