Barnes at the Movies: 007: Quantum of Solace

I have a heterosexual man-commitment towards James Bond.  I dabble with Jack Bauer.  I do flirt with the idea of John McClane.  However, my hetero-heart belongs to 007.  Therefore, whenever there is a Bond film, I am in the theater and I have great expectations.  While the franchise has had its ups and downs, they aren't bad films.  A bad Bond film usually beats a mediocre movie any day.  Quantum of Solace isn't a bad movie nor is it the worst Bond movie.  It was like a Bond girl:  fun for the time being, but ultimately forgettable.

Quantum of Solace is a direct sequel to the rebooted Casino Royale, with Daniel Craig returning as 007.  Bond, M (Judi Dench), and the rest of MI6 are trying to unfurl a secret criminal organization that is so well hidden that even members of MI6 are involved.  Bond is still angry and brooding over the loss of his love from the previous film, Vesper, and his mouth testifies "business" while his actions scream "vengeance."  While bodies lie in Bond's wake, there is the fear that he has gone rogue, with Bond investigating the true intentions of a non-profit environmental organization while being hunted by his employers.

Daniel Craig is a great Bond.  Time will tell if he will be the best, but I put him at #3 behind Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan for now.  While the point of the film was that Bond was trying to sequester his emotions to do his duty, I found that there were scenes in which Craig was too stone-faced.  Many scenes looked liked he was bored, not being cool or cold.  Judi Dench was great as the returning M and Jeffrey Wright was good returning as Bond's American ally, Felix Leiter.  The performances overall were pretty good.

The story, however, left me wanting.  I understand this is Bond's quest for revenge, but this wasn't a lot different than the Jason Bourne franchise.  One of the things that separates the Bond franchise from other films in the genre are the quiet moments.  Moments in which Bond is in a mind game with his opposition whether it'd be a card game, death trap, debate or whatever.  This movie had none of those quiet moments and if they did, they were so short that one can miss them.  The purpose of those moments is to appreciate the cerebral aspect of espionage and cleverness of Bond along with making the action scenes more memorable by spreading them out throughout the film.  

However, if you are going to do nonstop action, at least shoot it and edit it well.  The ideas behind the action scenes are pretty inventive (a gunfight on top of wiggly scaffolding?  Cool!), but I hated how it was put together.  There were many extreme close-ups, jump cuts, and shaky camerawork that it left the audience disoriented and confused.  

Is that Bond's hand reaching for the gun?  Was that the handbrake?  Which color was Bond's car again?  It left the audience thinking, "That was cool...what happened?"  I know that intent was to make the audience feel like they were in the moment with the character, but all it does is make the audience try to decipher what just occurred and while they do that, they don't pay attention to the next course of action which makes them think that they missed something cool which makes them aggravated.  Not that I'm nitpicking or venting.

That's not to say that I didn't like the movie.  It was worth my money and my time, assuming this movie was a necessary step to let the Bond character grow for the next film.  Bottom line:  Quantum of Solace is a mediocre James Bond movie, but an awesome Jason Bourne film.  I just hope that if a third Craig 007 movie is made that the camerawork would be less shaken and the plot more stirring. 

Random Prediction:  If they do decide to as "Q" as a character to the franchise reboot, I predict Simon Pegg will get the role.

Flashbacking

It was one of my better summers. I was about to head into the 7th grade while she was about to be a freshman in high school. I first got to know her while working on school newspaper the previous year, exchanging friendly "hellos," "how's it goin's," and "did you see Seinfeld last nights?" She laughed at that cartoons I drew, so that was good enough for me. I figured she'd just be one of those school friends, the kind you hang out with during 7:45AM-2:32PM Monday through Friday except in the months of June, July, and August. It would be an epiphany for both of us that she lived a few streets down from me and also went to the community center swimming pool.

On a hot day, we got reacquainted there. The days that followed, we swam about, hung out, and talked at the pool. She'd occasionally want to lay out in the sun. I'd sometimes join her, having the dry, prickly grass poke through towel and scratch my back. Who was I kidding? With my skin type, I was just inviting melanoma. At the time though, I wouldn't have it any other way.

She was tall and slender with skin that was a caramel bronze and smooth to touch. Her eyes were a striking hazel and she had a pearly, toothy grin. She had a goofy but contagious laugh, which would include an embarrassing snort. It was my goal to make her snort every time we crossed paths.

The rest of the summer consisted of splashing in the pool, wrestling around, and games of chicken with other kids. My cross country coach happened to be the lifeguard and would jokingly call our playing "PDA" just to embarrass me. It worked.

Unfortunately, she had to move away to another school. Parents divorcing and custody battles tend to screw good things up. During the oncoming school year, we'd call each other from time to time, venting on crappy relationships, family issues, and the like. The following summer, she came back for a time to stay with her dad on her old street and she wanted to catch up. Hmph, she decided to wear her glasses. I don't remember what activity we did. Honestly, I don't think it matters.

It was dark and we hung out on my porch. She needed to get home. I walked her. We continued to talk until we got to the front of her house. I gave her a long hug and palmed her head. Her soft, pitch black hair slid between my fingers. She then moved in and our mouths met. It came out of left field, but I liked it.

Okay, this is good, really good, so good, don't be weird, don't be weird, don't be weird, don't be weird, okay, okay, okay, her tongue is in your mouth so I think that means yours needs at least meet her halfway, that's too far, TOO FAR, DON'T CHOKE HER, BACK OFF, there you go, okay, it seems silly to leave it there, maybe I need to rotate it, clockwise?, counterclockwise?, freestyle it is then, aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd we're done.

She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. She poked me in the belly, playfully teased me, and walked inside. My face was locked into a smile. We promised to stay in touch. As years passed, phone calls were less on both ends. After she graduated, she moved out of state to tour with her band and since I was still in high school, we ultimately lost touch. It's fine. It wouldn't of worked out well in the end anyway.

That's the story of my first kiss. I don't know why I blogged this nor do I think you'd care, but it might be an interesting story to read to kill time. I found it therapeutic to reminisce I guess. In any case, new movie reviews soon.

Barnes at the Movies: Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno is film by cult favorite writer/director Kevin Smith of Clerks and Chasing Amy fame. After dabbling in various projects and revisiting old ground in Clerks 2, Smith weaned himself off familiar characters Jay and Silent Bob and the setting of New Jersey for frosty Pittsburgh and a new duo Zack (the now overexposed Seth Rogen) and Miri ("oh, yeah, that one girl from..."Elizabeth Banks). Zack and Miri are lifelong friends, first meeting in grade school, living together in a beat-up apartment. When financial duress and overdue bills pile up to the point that electricity and water are shut off, they search for methods to get rich quick before they become homeless. The solution? Make a porno and sell it to their old high school classmates from the alumni mailing list.

As expected from the title, the movie contains copious amounts of frontal nudity, backal nudity, upwards nudity, downwards nudity, and sideways nudity. Fortunately, no inside-out nudity or else it'd be rated NC-17...or be a PBS educational film. However with the all the nakedness and language that'd make R. Lee Ermey pee himself, there lies a sweet, complicated love story. As the moment comes when Zack and Miri have sex for the first time ever (on camera, no less), it becomes apparent that while they intended on "fucking for money" they ended up making love.

Rogen within most of his films seems to play the exact same character to the point of exhaustion. I cannot distinguish Zack from Dale Denton (Pineapple Express) or Ben Stone (Knocked Up) in any way aside from their names. That being said, Rogen does Zack justice being able to emote proper restrained anger and sadness when needed. The guy shows that he can act, but it always takes a back seat to him shooting off ab-libbed one liners.

Elizabeth Banks does a great job as Miri, a beautiful tomboy. She does well playing off the close, platonic friend (take it from me, it's a situation that I have great familiarity with), however she didn't win me over until one pivotal scene in which she hands Zack over on a silver platter to her porno co-star Stacey (Katie Morgan).

The real stand-out in the movie is Craig Robinson (Darryl from the warehouse in The Office). I don't know if it's because of his great comedic delivery or that he got better material than most of the cast, but he sticks out and it's not because he's the only black man in the film. As Delaney, he was able to both be comical and issue some grand knowledge on our young Zack.

Rounding out the main cast is current porn actress Katie Morgan as the dim Stacey and former porn icon Traci Lords as appropriately named Bubbles, along with Smith's mainstay actors Jeff Anderson and Jason Mewes as Deacon and Lester. Nothing much to be said about the porn actresses since they are essentially playing themselves but dimmer. Nothing much said about Anderson since he's essentially playing Randal from Clerks as an amateur cameraman. Nothing much for Mewes since he's pretty much playing Jay from previous movies only without the long hair and weed references.

Smith himself has stated that he isn't much of cinematographer and nothing has really changed in that direction. However, he did rise to the occasion in two pivotal scenes: when Zack and Miri make love and when Miri hands Zack over with great close ups and pacing of the shots, but the actors' performances gave the shots a huge assist.

Overall, I enjoyed Z&M. As a comedy it falls short of big belly laughs resulting from typical "dick and fart jokes" Smith usually places in the dialogue of his films, but as a crude, off-beat romance it does very well for me. While if you were ask me to present a better comedy from Smith, I'd side with his much older works. Also, if you were to ask me to present a better romance from him, I'd suggest Chasing Amy. In the long run though, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a good addition to Smith's filmography, due to the familar-to-us-but-usually-sugar-coated-in-movies relationship between the main characters, but falls short of being a stand-out in his body of work. So if you like Smith's past stuff and aren't bothered by naked people, check it out. If you are bothered by it, then you probably already made up your mind not to see it based on the title of the film alone.

Barnesharmonymatch.com.org.tv : President Andrew

Future President Andrew Stewart is a grand gentleman, full of gumption and drive. He is a dedicated conservative, serving the RNC and assisting the Bush administration. That is not to say that he is a blind follower, he creates his own opinions or reasons. Even if you do not agree with his viewpoint, any argument he makes is valid and educated. While usually a quiet man, he possesses a grand wit and is a great conversationalist once you get to know him. Karl Rove swore at him and President Bush gave him a pep talk. He has great ambition and puts full effort into everything he does. He's a fun guy and a handsome man at that. So if any female out there has any aspirations to become a First Lady in their lifetime, I guide you toward our future President Elect Andrew Stewart.

For Jenny Taylor

Jenny,
I haven't seen it, but by most reviews, Role Models looks to be a type of flick you would like. I liked Zack and Miri Make a Porno (check out a review later) but I'm not sure it's your cup of tea. Peace.

Junk Drawer/A Little Help

Hey all.
I wanted to write a blog today, but...I'm drawing a blank. I like doing the movie reviews, but I don't want to turn this blog into solely that. I just don't know what to write about aside from random thoughts, rants/lists. So ask you, my reading audience, please either via email or the comments section give me topics to write about or what you'd like my opinion on. I know that there are more people that read this blog than comment on it, so please stop being quiet about it and shoot me a response in some way. Even you don't have any suggestions, send me something to know if you are still reading this blog if for no reason than to have me acknowledge that you are still alive.
I await any and all feedback. Have a list of randomness:
- I miss MST3K.
- I can't wait until after the first 100 days of the Obama administration to see if the honeymoon period with the media is over.
- My job is making me bored, doesn't provide much, and doesn't allow much of a social life. Therefore, pray for all these things.
- I need a better creative outlet since many comedy clubs and open mics are closing up shop down here.
- Every time I see President Bush on TV talking, his mind is actually saying, "Two more months, two more months, two more months..."
- Every time I see a member of the news media or comedy circuit see/talk about Bush, their brains are actually saying, "Two more months, two more months, two more months..."
- A saw a commercial featuring a couple in their 60's getting married in a park. The product? Depends. That's when my brain exploded into macaroni salad within the serving bowl that is my skull. Which begs the question that I ask you, my readers, what brand of diaper would you wear to your wedding?
- I'd like to have a dog, but I don't have the money or the time to properly take care of it.
- So many people my age are having kids (on purpose!). I love kids, but in your 20's? Whatever works for you, I guess.
- I never realized how hard it is to find good wrestling fan friends. Many people who I run into are a) hard to converse with because they think it's real/are really drunks in disguise or b) hard to converse with because they pick apart the product to the point that they aren't enjoying themselves and it kills the mood. To give a more broader perspective, it's like finding a good film friend to watch good movies with: there are some who don't want to watch Citizen Kane because they are all about the Good Burger and then there those who believe if it isn't directed by Lars Von Trier then it is shit.

That's it for now. Peace.