Friday, January 02, 2009

A Note to Women who Post Personal Ads on Craigslist

So I'm not dating or anything nor am I on E-Harmony or Match.com or anything like that (no money to subscribe among other reasons), but today I looked around the personal ads on craigslist just out of curiosity.  There are a few that I might email or whatnot, but for the most part I wonder if these women are even really trying.  Here are a few tips for W seeking M for their posts:
-  Using terms like "seeks Sugar Daddy" or "wants to be spoiled" and excessive use of "$$$" will not help you.  It screams the word "succubus" and any idiot who replies to that deserves poverty.
-  writinginrunonsentencesliketheone I amtyping here makes me thinkyou haveno education /:?
-  It's nice to write down "I like horseback riding" but saying "I go horseback riding at the downs on my black Stallion, Pepper" is better.  
-  If you only write "I go horseback riding at the downs on my black Stallion, Pepper" and nothing else about yourself or interests, then congratulations.  You are a one dimensional character in a children's learn-to-read book.
-  "I live life to the fullest!".... this is the part that where you tell me how.
-  "I like movies"  Who doesn't?  Gimme some favorite flicks.
-  If your headline says "24 yr old" and the content of your ad says, "I'm a 20 year old college student," it tells me you are either a bot, stupid, or a liar.  FAIL.
-  Biggest lie on the internet:  "I don't like playing games."
-  If you include a pic in your ad, don't use a group photo.  Common sense apparently is a limited resource like oil.
-  Boyfriend applications?  You are trying to tell me who you are.  If I'm that bored, I'll go to Quizilla.
-  "I'm open minded... Please no black men." = contradiction

This is why I hate dating crap.  Meh.  On second thought, I'd rather take my chances trying the old fashioned way.

3 comments:

Tommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tommy said...

Fun. And educational.

I think the fact that Steph never said, "I live life to the fullest," was key in our getting together. Cos seriously. That's the lamest thing ever.

Jenny N said...

this is funny, Erik. thanks for anecdotes.