Let me foreworn you, fellow readers, that this is a long entry. I suggest you either have nothing better to do or, like a good ice cream sandwich, indulge in little bites. This past weekend was one of the best weekends in recent memory...as a matter of fact, I didn't have this much fun since probably early 2006. I wish to share with you my journey into the heart of my WrestleWeekend. Don't worry, non-wrestling fans, this isn't just a "this match was good, this wasn't, blah, blah." Don't get me wrong, there is some of that, but like most adventures it is about the journey rather than the destination. The days and occurances of the journal are accurate and the times are approximate. Without further delay, I give you Barnes' WrestleWeekend Journal.
Friday, March 28, 2008
3:39AM- I wake for my last day of work until Tuesday. I have my hair cut, my beard trimmed, and the rest of my face shaven. I brush, floss, and Listerine like I usually do, but I do the routine twicefold. After all, I have to be presentable when I meet Ric Flair.
8: 09AM- It is reported by the weatherman (or meteorologist if you want to technical about it) that Ric Flair's limo just got into the parking lot. The anchors are surprised that he would arrive in a limo. I shake my head at them. Before Ric's arrival into the studio, all the techs bet on how many people would be in his entourage aside from Flair himself. Rollen, my supervisor, bets 5. Scott, the male anchor, thinks he's coming alone. I suggest three. After all, Flair needs three men to have his Four Horsemen.
8:15AM- Flair and his men walk into the studio during the live broadcast. He has three gentlemen in suits with him. Called it. Flair sits down on a padded chair and the PA brings coffee in a CW mug. I ended up getting that mug (IT WAS WASHED, DON'T WORRY). For further details on this encounter, read my Relflections on Ric Flair blog.
3:20PM- After a nice lunch at BD's Mongolian BBQ (one of the best restaurants ever), my weekend starts at the cinema for Run, Fatboy, Run. It's no Hot Fuzz, but it was a solid comedy. I look forward to buying it on DVD used at my local MovieStop two years from now.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
6:18PM- I arrive at the Ring of Honor's Supercard of Honor III show being held at the local rec center. This is Ring of Honor's second show ever in Florida, the first one being the night before. I park in a dirt lot, giving a strange man $5 to park there. I ask if the lot was going to be guarded. He said yes and I'd have to present my ticket stub in order to gain access. I park and the man asks me to move closer to the other car. I explain to him that a) I'm not 2D and cannot shimmy through the cars when I open the door and b) I'd take you more seriously if you actually had a paved lot with lines and not a dirt pile with uneven terrain. He couldn't argue against that, so I got my space to breathe and proceeded to the rec center.
6:31PM- I wait in line to get in. I already have tickets but there is still a line? WTF? At the entranceway, I see a wheelchair-bound man with a beard and rags asking for change and cracking jokes. He was entertaining and I was inspired that a man that was that down on his luck would be so jovial. Then the heavyset woman in front of me explained that he was a local indy wrestler and that was his gimmick; he wasn't really homeless or crippled. Now, I can somewhat understand if this was a comedy skit for some candid-camera-esque show, but how are you going to get a gimmick like that over with the crowd as a wrestler when your character CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO THE RING. There was also a real person in a wheelchair, so this had to be a real smack in the mouth to him. This, along with being scrawny as hell, is why you'll never make it past indy level, buddy.
6:46PM- I'm inside, make a beeline to the restroom, then head to the merchandise table. I got this t-shirt, an action figure, a DVD featuring Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi in one of the most brutal matches not involving blood, and a Best of Chikara DVD for a great deal. What's Chikara? Imagine if Monty Python, a comedy on Telemundo, and a Japanese game show merged together and had a wrestling show. Those are my kind of people.
7:06PM- I sit in my chair on the floor. Great view. On my left is a morbidly obese gentleman who is covering up his bodily odor with Aqua Velva. It's not working. In front of my me is an even more obese gentleman who smells like moldy tangerines and a festering washrag. I politely try to make conversation with both gentlemen to try to overlook the odors and make friends. They both snub me. So that's why they smell: they're assholes!
7:21PM- Nine minutes until bell-time and the guy who is seated at my right sits down. I ask him if he knew what the card was. In a polite British accent, the guy stated he didn't know. We hit it off and, as if I were an ambassador to the U.S., welcomed him to the States. He stated that he just got off the plane and beelined here for the show. At last minute, he decided to fly down here for the weekend for this show and Wrestlemania the following night since buttons are worth more than the American dollar nowadays. We then proceeded to yell and chant for the show to begin.
7:30PM- Go Shiozaki beat Delirious- This was a fun comedy match. Delirious' character is a masked wrestler that's a little crazy and his catchphrase is simply saying, "BAHHH!" loudly. Go is an import from Dragon Gate, a wrestling promotion in Japan. Fans were all chanting, "GO! GO! GO!" while Delirious fans shouted, "STOP! STOP! STOP!" This reminds me why I love going to indy wrestling shows. Go wins with a brainbuster-esque move. This is gonna be a fun show.
7:44PM- YRR defeated D.I.N.G.O.- A person pushing another person in a wheelchair tries to find their seats. My British buddy and I move our chairs to let them through. The fat a-holes don't. Seriously, guys. The Brit and I have no idea who any of these wrestlers are except one guy on D.I.N.G.O. is Luke from the old WWF tag team, The Bushwackers. He does the trademark Bushwacker wavy-arms walk and licks the faces of nearby fans. I'm not making this up. It was short and fun, but these a-holes are pissing me off.
7:56PM- The No Remorse Corps retained the ROH tag titles against The Vulture Squad. Lots of flying, lots of near falls, and the crowd was buzzing. Larry Sweeney, my new wrestling hero, entertains the crowd, tossing business cards at us for his Sweet and Sour Inc. stable and management team. He calls out NRC leader Roderick Strong and asks him to join his group. He declines which causes Erick Stevens to come out and brawl with him.
8:09PM- Erick Stevens vs. Roderick Strong in a no-contest- Good lord. Guys, I know that you are building up a PPV match, but geez. Both men chopped each other on the chest so hard that not only did the sick cracks vibrate in the building but BOTH MEN'S CHESTS WERE BLEEDING. No fake blood (which doesn't actually exist in pro wrestling) or using a razorblade to make cuts. Legit, hardway blood. They both did blade (cutting themselves at the top the skull to let blood cover their faces) after exchanging hits to the turnbuckle. They both exchange stiff forearms to the head and neck. The Brit and I remark on how we can hear the smacks of flesh. The finale was Strong hitting Stevens with an unprotected chairshot to the skull. Stevens is an idiot or wants a two year career if he agrees to do that. The sound resonates to the point in that the crowd quiets down in shock. Then some of the crowd chants, "HOLY SHIT." The villain Strong beckons his NRC to come to ring and shave off Stevens' mohawk in the middle of the ring. Stevens, you better hope that your PPV match draws a lot of money to justify killing your braincells and losing your hairstyle. The Brit and I both remark on how it was cool to watch, but grossly unnecessary to enhance both men's careers.
8:27PM-Age of the Fall beats The Briscoe Brothers- The Briscoes are good ol' boys who love to fly. Age of the Fall are emo kids trying to change the world. Let the ideologies clash. These guys fought in the crowd most of the match, which sucks since most of the time you can't see what's going on. Jay Briscoe suplexed Tyler Black into our section, chairs flying about, and brawling everywhere. The seating chart is now worthless. On the other side of the building, Jay Briscoe jumps off the top of the bleachers through a table when his opponent moves out of the way. The Brit stands on his chair and gives me play by play. I'm too large to stand on my chair without breaking it and killing myself. Good crowd interaction along with a great finish.
8:42PM- Intermission- The Brit and I don't want to pay $6 for a crappy burger and $1 for a can of soda, so we sit and talk about politics, the greatness and crappiness of Guy Richie, our struggles to find jobs in media (he's a film student, just graduated), and how we both hope the American economy gets better. He's loyal to the Crown, but wants the U.S. to succeed and pick itself up. I comment how I'd love to travel across the pond and visit his country. In July, of course. He laughs. My kind of bloke.
9:15ishPM- Intermission ends. The tangerine-dishrag man sits on his seat and extends his legs, backing into my seat to the point that he might as well be sitting on my lap. I politely ask him to scoot forward. He moves an eighth of an inch forward. I'd punch him in the mouth, but that would make him worth my anger. The Brit graciously offers me some of his leg room and moves his chair to his right.
9:17PM- BxB Hulk and SHINGO beat Kevin Steen and El Generico- Another match featuring wrestlers from Dragon Gate. I don't know why, but a lot of Japanese wrestlers like to incorporate English or some form of it into their wrestling names. That being said, I have no idea what a BxB Hulk is. I imagine that it is under 6 feet tall, is muscular, and has the best red Marge Simpson mullet I've ever seen. I imagine that because that was what was in front of me. SHINGO (it has be spelled in all caps for emphasis I suppose) looks like a regular Japanese wrestler. El Generico, a crowd favorite, is a white skinny guy in a luchadore (Mexcian wrestler) mask and loves to scream "Ole!" during his matches. Kevin Steen is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man with the speed of Lance Armstrong. Fun match with Steen doing a moonsault (a backflip from the top rope) and the Japanese team getting the victory. Great match with fans chanting "OLE-OLE-OLE-OLAYYYYYY---OLAYYYYY---OLAYYYY!" like at a soccer match during the contest.
9:34PM- ROH Champion Nigel McGuinness beat Austin Aries to retain the ROH title- Great mat wrestling and hard hits. Aries did a few high flying moves from the the top rope and did some stiff knees to the head of Nigel. 2/3rds of the crowd chanted, "LET'S-GO-AUSTIN" while the Brit, the rest of the crowd, and myself yelled, "LET'S-GO-NIGEL" in a chant exchange. There were many false finishes that had the crowd buying into the match and locked into it. No one was at the bathroom, merch table, or concessions. Nigel hit a lariat on Aries so hard that everyone in the building heard the crack. I honestly thought Aries injured his jaw. Nigel got the pin which made my Englishman friend happy since Nigel is a fellow countryman.
Age of the Fall comes out and wants Austin to join them. He accepts. Then Tammy Sytch, formerly Sunny in WWF, comes out to try to change Austin's mind. Doesn't work. AOTF try to beat down Tammy and the Briscoes come out to the rescue. Meh. I'm not going to see the rematch, so I don't care.
10:04PM- The Muscle Outlaws defeated CIMA, Dragon Kid, and Ryo Saito- Holy crap. All these guys are from Dragon Gate and man did they steal the show. I think they did every single move ever in pro wrestling...then invented nine more during the match. There were so many spots in which I thought, "Well, that's gonna end the match" and I was totally wrong. The fans were really into it, counting along with the refree throughout the contest. When the match ended, the fans and I chanted, "ARI-GATO!" which means "Thank you" in Japanese and "PLEASE COME BACK!" while all six men bowed and said thanks.
10:43PM- Shows over and we start to move toward the exits. The Brit and I shake hands. It occurs to the both of us that we didn't introduce ourselves. I state my name was Erik. His is Ed. Huh. English Ed. I tell him to enjoy the rest of his time in the States and to have fun at Wrestlemania (he has floor seats, the lucky limey). He says that he will and wishes me well. I said, "Cheers" and he responded in kind. I walked over to my car at the "lot" and find it to be unguarded. I had too much fun to care and no one did anything to my vehicle, so I drove home.
11:48PM- The usually 15 minute drive took me almost an hour. I watched a little bit of my Chikara DVD and went to sleep.
Sunday, March 30, 2008- WRESTLEMANIA XXIV
12:15PM- I leave my home on the quest to find good parking at Amway Arena to take the free shuttle to the Citrus Bowl. I pass the parking area twice and was guided by a Parking Rep to go to Lot 1. Lot 1? Sounds good and close. Too bad that Lot 1 was full. And was for handicapped parking only. So I paid my five bucks and went to nearest garage. I had to drive all the way to the top floor. I think if I stood on my tippy toes, I could have touched the sun. I proceeded to the shuttle and arrived at the Citrus Bowl.
1:18PM- I'm outside the Citrus Bowl knawing on an overpriced burger and chicken fingers. I should have known that there weren't any real restaurants near the Bowl. Ah well. I get the full experience this way. I walk around the Bowl and there are fans EVERYWHERE. In a gated area, there was a live band and various stands advertising local media outlets and businesses abound. There was fan trivia and merch tables galore. There were fans interacting, talking, yelling, debating, young ones cheering for John Cena, old ones talking about the hey-day of Ric Flair, snooty ones stating that independent wrestling is better, college-educated ones talking about how wrestling is the last surviving art of vaudeville and theater-of-the-round, hillbillies who can't separate fantasy from reality are polishing off beer number 16 and discussing on how Hulkamania changed their lives, and confused girlfriends wondering how the hell did their boyfriends convince them to come to such a place. It was part Wrestling Convention/part Wrestling Woodstock. These people are mutants, but dammit, they are MY MUTANTS! I enter the mass and join with my people.
1:49PM- I find out the doors don't open until 4:30PM, so I walk about and head to the merch table. I got a few t-shirts like this, this, and this. I went to a separate stand and got some binoculars just in case. There was nothing wrestling related on the box or at the stand, but when I opened it up the Wrestlemania logo was pasted on them. Destiny is weird.
2:14PM- I walked around and TNA, a rival wrestling promotion that tapes it's nationally aired TV show here in Orlando, had a huge video wall just outside Citrus Bowl property advertising for its upoming pay-per-view, Lockdown. There were members of TNA's street team passing out flyers advertising for the event and it's program on Spike TV. It is stuff like this that will prevent WWE from doing Wrestlemania from Orlando in the near future.
2:32PM- I sit in the shade of an awning, reading, and sipping a beer. I'm seated next to three guys from Portland, OR that are stoked about the event. We discuss what matches to we are looking forward to, predictions, and whatnot. Nice guys. They had to leave in order to get a buddy that was having trouble finding parking. We exchanged goodbyes and nice-meeting-yous.
2:56PM- After a little bit of reading, I decided to walk around a little more. I got another beer. Believe it or not, it was one of the cheaper concessions at the event. I spoke to an older guy, who has been following Ric Flair's career for almost 20 years. He stated that "this generation sucks" and the new fans "need to learn their history." I'd be hardpressed to disagree, but not as harshly as he proclaimed. Then a few feet away, I looked to my right and saw him. Tangerine-Dishrag Man. He tried to catch my gaze, but I dashed before I could be turned into stone.
3:15PM- I stand in line to use the port-a-potty. Three guys dressed up like HHH, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker walk around and pose for pictures. The costumes are awesome. Even wearing 6 inch lifts in his shoes, "Undertaker" was still under 6 feet tall. I tried to take a photo of them with my camera phone. Then I realized my camera phone sucks. A New Yorker and I chat while in line. We discuss how some guys try to break into this industry when, with all due to respect to their hard work and their dreams, they have no business trying. The New Yorker is apparently friends with two local wrestling promoters/trainers and how they turn down a bunch of guys who are too unathletic (skinny or obese) or have too little charisma to make it. I stated that I concur with his statements, but proclaimed that if they want to achieve their dream, go for it...but don't expect any financial success. I also told him of my experience in wrestling school in Cincinnati and how I left the school because a) most of the students there were morbidly obese or made out of plastic straws, so I knew the instructor was just taking their money, b) the guy wasn't sure how to critique my bumping (taking falls), and c) most of the wrestling he was teaching was for lighter guys under 6 feet tall because he was under 6 feet tall. I'm sorry, but a guy my size isn't going to do arm drags or headscissors. He agreed with my accessment (he apparently heard of the school I was at) and told me that I had a good look for wrestling so I might have a shot once I get back into it. I said thanks, used the facilities, bumped knuckles with New Yorker, and we told each other to enjoy the show.
4:18PM- I wait in line (again with the lines, I HAVE TICKETS ALREADY!) to get into the Bowl. I call Ed Stewart and give him some details, telling him that I talked to guys from England, New York, Portland, and that I saw a few Japanese guys walking around speaking in their native tongue. After stating this, the man to my left told me he came from Scotland in an accent so thick that it had to be real. After jawing with Ed, I talked to two guys from Chicago who bought tickets from a scalper and were drinking 40s that they got from a gas station. I should have thought of getting food from there. That being said, I got a third beer.
4:30PM- We are let in. The mob goes nuts and heads to concessions for $6 funnelcakes and $8 slices of pizza the size of a Ritz cracker. I get to my seat. Not a bad view. The wrestlers are about the size of action figures. I use my binoculars to properly adjust them to view the ring. Then I thought, you know, if I use the binoculars I can only see part of the ring up close in shaky vision. Besides, if I wanted to watch it from that perspective, I'd watch it on TV. Also, if something happens and I can't see, there is a giant screen hanging above the ring that I can watch from. I then put my binolculars in my pocket to save for other events. Seated to my right is a 7 year old kid with his two guardians. We actually conversed and I asked him stuff like, "Who's your favorite wrestler, who do you want to win, is this your first live event, etc.?" Cool kid. To my left are a Hispanic couple who speak en espanol, however we had friendly banter in English. In front of me, to my left was a young couple from Texas. I ask the pretty lady if she actually liked this or if her boyfriend dragged her here. She responded that she grew to like wrestling and actually purchased the tickets as Christmas gift for her boyfriend. I immediately asked if she had a sister who was single. No luck. She asked if the boy to my right was my son. I responded with a quick, matter-of-fact, "Oh, hell no. Oh, dear Lord, no." She laughed. The boy laughed. I walked to get an overpriced burger.
5:17PM- I get my final beer of the day and wait in line for a burger. The guy on my right nudged me and HOLY CRAP! It's my British buddy, English Ed! Out of the 74,000+ people and seemingly dozens of food stands we bump into each other! We exchanged greetings, spoke a little, and told each other to enjoy the show, especially since he got great seats towards ringside. "Cheers, Erik." Cheerio, Ed. Cheerio.
6:30PM- The pre-show has started and the three seats in front of me are vacant. The little kid and I plan on moving forward and upgrading ourselves if no one shows up when real show starts. The Wrestlemania pre-show featured a 24 man battle royal (since this is the 24th Wrestlemania) with the winner facing ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero for the ECW title later on in the night. It was quite short, only going five minutes. The kid was cheering for almost everybody which is fine and I encourage that at a wrestling show. The problem was that since he is 7 and his testicles have yet to descend, he has a high pitched shrill. I think I lost a third of my hearing in my right ear due to a shriek of "COME ON, TOMMY DREAMER!!!!" Afterward, the guardians apparently noticed my plight and graciously asked their boy to sit in-between them. I thanked them and told them if he needed to use my binoculars, that he is more than welcome to them. Kane won, so he'll face Chavo later in the show.
7:00PM- Wrestlemania XXIV begins! John Legend is introduced and sings "America the Beautiful." Too many fans stand up and don't know that this is not the national anthem. John Legend is a good singer. I ain't buying an album though. It starts to sprinkle. I'm too excited to care. Fireworks shot off into the open air. A plane with a banner stating WOOO!!! GO TO MEN'S FANTASY! flew around throughout the night. At this point, I didn't look at my watch, so no more estimated times.
JBL beats Findlay in a Belfast Brawl- A good ol' fight to open stuff up. Fans loved Hornswoggle. I was in the lowest upper deck and I could hear the sound of trash cans hitting skulls. I heard the crunch of man being tossed into a table in the turnbuckle. JBL clotheslined the snot out of Findlay for the pin.
Kim Kardashian ("star" of the "hit reality show," Meet the Kardashians) talked about Money in the Bank Ladder match. Mr. Kennedy yelled his name near her face. Glorious.
CM Punk wins the Money in the Bank ladder match- Chris Jericho's entrance was huge! Man, the pyro was awesome but afterward I thought I was inhaling a sparkler. It was huge with the video wall imprinting huge letters saying, SAVE_US Y2J. I yelled out "We're saved!!!," much to the laughter and appreciation of those around me. I love watching ladder matches on TV. Watching it live, however, I thought that I was doing something illegal like attending a cock fight. Good Lord. These guys took tumbles from such a height...man, watching it live...you know I can't find words. There was a huge see-saw spot in the ring in which everyone got smacked around and guys lept from top rope onto ladders and...man, I just can't fathom it. Matt Hardy came out and the whole Citrus Bowl expoded with chants of "HARDY! HARDY! HARDY!" Punk eventually got up and grabbed the briefcase. Huh. Pleasant surprise. The seats in front of me are filled by four little 9 year olds...but there were only three seats available...and their female guardian was hanging out on the aisleway watching them. Hmm.
The WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2008 were introduced. Mae Young got the biggest reaction and is still feisty at the age of 85. Then a skit involving Snoop Dog, Santino Marella, and Festus aired. It got some good laughs.
Batista beat Umaga- The crowd loved Batista's entrance...and that's it. The crowd was quiet mostly until Batista did a powerbomb to win it. The sprinkles stopped. It was windy the rest of the show.
Kane beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship- Chavo was introduced first and then Kane's entrance music and pyro fired off. Flames surrounded the front of the stage and with the video wall showing burning buildings with red lights and hues. I was no longer at the Citrus Bowl. I was in the bowels of Hell. Kane came at Chavo from behind, chokeslammed him, and pinned him. The total match time was less than 30 seconds. Rip off, but still I like the fact Kane is champ now.
Raven Simone, of television's The Cosby Show and That's So Raven, came out to discuss her and WWE's partnership with the Make A Wish Foundation. The cameramen showed all the Make-A-Wish kids that attended the event. Good stuff.
Shawn Michaels pinned Ric Flair, retiring him.- This was the match I was looking forward to the most. Michaels came up to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd. Then Ric Flair emerged from the curtain. Everyone was standing. Flair arrived in probably the best feathered robe in the history of ever. The best way to describe it is with the message I texted my friend Tommy: "Behold, the Blue Rooster of Hope." These guys had a great match. Men chanted Flair's name over and over. Towards the end, the camera zoomed in on Michaels' face as he mouthed, "I'm sorry. I love you." and zoomed out to see Michaels kick the hell out of Ric's jaw and pin him. In slow motion replay, you can see legitimate impact. Afterward, Michaels hugged Ric, left the ring quickly, without time for fanfare. I led my section in a chant of "THANK YOU, RIC!" and others started similar chants in other sections. The cameras zoomed in on Flair's face, sobbing. I looked around and saw grown men, women, and kids cry. I got a little choked up as well. Just before I wrote this, I read a report stating that Flair outright refused to go on last at the show because he did not want to overshadow any of the title matches or any of the younger guys. A class act. Long Live The Nature Boy.
There's a promo with Edge. The fans yelled BOOOOOOO. Mission accomplished.
WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix & Melina defeated Maria & Ashley Massaro in a Bunnymania Match featuring Snoop Dogg as guest ring announcer- Security comes by and tells the woman in aisle that she cannot stay stand there and watch the show. She explains how she has a ticket but it's far away from where the kids she is accompanying are sitting. I smell scalper. After a long debate, we in the section tell the security person that she is literally watching the kids and not the show so we aren't bothered. The security guys turns a blind eye to the situation and we proceed to watch the "match." The little boys in front of me were excited to see the ladies. I proceeded to comment that the boys had no idea what they were excited about. The crowd around me seemed to echo the statement. The wrestling sucked. Man, it was awful. In the middle of the match, the power went out in the stadium and damage control began. The back-up generator kicked in and all the spotlights were focused on the ring. The match had a mercy killing, ending around 5 minutes. The only cool part was when Snoop Dogg beat up oafish wrestler, Santino Marella, who had accompanied the evil team in the match. Another security guy spoke to the woman on the aisle causing friction among the security staff. Ultimately, the woman remained unmoved. The Texan couple proceeded to walk up and get some refreshments. The lady on the aisle proceeded to sit in their seats knowing that they would be back. That pissed me off. I didn't say anything because I didn't want the kids to be kicked out of a cool wrestling show because their guardian is an irresponsible jerkbag.
Randy Orton defeated John Cena & Triple H to retain the WWE Championship in a Triple Threat Match- John Cena entered with a marching band playing his theme. That's kinda cool. HHH had a sweet entrance involving pyro shooting off, encircling the bowl. The power was back on in full force. The crowd seemed primarily split between HHH and John Cena with a few Orton fans shouting out. The Texans came back in the middle of the match and jerkbag thankfully went back to the aisle without incident. The match was pretty fun to watch with the villain Orton stealing a win after HHH hit Cena with a pedigree. The Hispanic guy, the Texan, and I were all okay with that because that meant Cena wasn't the champ.
Floyd Mayweather defeated Big Show- This match was okay. The entrances went too long and the crowd was very pro-Big Show. That's bad because Big Show was supposed to be the bad guy in this match. This was the best boxer vs. wrestler match ever...which doesn't say anything since all previous boxer vs. wrestler matches sucked. A wrestler can't box and a boxer can't wrestle. That being said, the two guys did fairly well. Mayweather sold his moves very well and there was copious amounts of interference from Mayweather's posse. It took over 7 people, a steel chair, and brass knuckles for Floyd Mayweather to beat Show. The crowd booed Floyd which apparently shocked WWE matchmakers. Seriously guys. I don't care that Floyd was the David in this David vs. Goliath recreation. If David had seven big guys, a trident, and had God punch Goliath to beat him, we'd side with the giant, too. Afterward, jerkbag told the boys that they had to leave, just before the main event. I feel bad for the kids. Then after they left, I upgraded, sitting in their former seats for the main event.
Undertaker beat Edge for World Heavyweight Championship- Undertaker had a great entrance. It was eerie, creepy, and had lightning and pyro. It was a grand experience. Then a handful of people started to leave in order to beat traffic. Their loss. These guys had a great match with many false finishes. When Undertaker finally made Edge submit, the crowd went nuts. The Undertaker's entrance theme with the "BONG" bell ringing and fireworks shooting into the sky and down toward the ring made for a grand finale...except that some fireworks went off incorrectly on one row, burning 35 people (as of this writing no serious injuries or burns are reported). A great show, great experience.
I then walked over to the shuttle passing several guys selling bootleg t-shirts. I saw that one bootlegger had t-shirts that said "WrestleMadness." I shook my head because he had no idea why no one was buying them. When I got to the shuttle, I had a conversation with three other Floridians expressing our thoughts on the show. We got off the shuttle, said our goodbyes, and went to the parking garage. The elevator was packed. I took the stairs. I climbed to the top floor. It was then I was aware of one of two possibilities. My car was either stolen or I was at the wrong garage. Some expletives, a flight of stairs downward, a walk across the street, and a flight of stairs upward later, I was finally at my car. I drove home and went to bed, knowing that I had one of the best times I've ever experienced. Now, as I sit here sipping coffee from the mug that Ric Flair drank from, I want to say thanks to all the people that helped make this weekend fun, were with me in spirit, and I wish all of you a good day.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Single and Live in Japan? Let Me Tell You About My Friend, Rachael...
So apparently I did a great job in making a profile for Shannon. She just informed me today that she connected with some guy online remarking on the "Lewis Black with boobs" comment. I'm glad to have been of service. If you read the "Comments" section of that blog, my friend Rachael, who is teaching English in Japan, requested that I do one for her. Man, I wanna go to Japan someday...sorry, mind drifted. Anyway, here's my profile for her:
Rachael is petite in stature, but gigantic in heart. She sticks to her beliefs while listening to yours, disagrees with you when you are wrong and reassures you when you are right. Rachael will laugh for reasons unbeknownst to you but that won't stop you from joining in on the apparent joke. She is playful like a child but has wisdom of people many years her senior. She, like the stereotypical mom, loves crafts, cooking, and playing with kids. She, unlike the stereotypical mom, will take risks, sing unabashed, and be politically/socially aware and active. Have you seen "Amelie"? That's her minus the Frenchness. You might not give a damn, but she does, so at least consider it. Her smile is addictive and her hugs are like a blanket wrapped around you. Wanna try something new? So does she. Daily. Maybe you should ask if you can accompany her on an adventure and take pictures (she likes pictures).
That's it. So if you are in Japan or are willing to wait for a long, long, long, long time in the United States for her to come back home, give her a holler. A link to her blog is on the right. Peace.
Rachael is petite in stature, but gigantic in heart. She sticks to her beliefs while listening to yours, disagrees with you when you are wrong and reassures you when you are right. Rachael will laugh for reasons unbeknownst to you but that won't stop you from joining in on the apparent joke. She is playful like a child but has wisdom of people many years her senior. She, like the stereotypical mom, loves crafts, cooking, and playing with kids. She, unlike the stereotypical mom, will take risks, sing unabashed, and be politically/socially aware and active. Have you seen "Amelie"? That's her minus the Frenchness. You might not give a damn, but she does, so at least consider it. Her smile is addictive and her hugs are like a blanket wrapped around you. Wanna try something new? So does she. Daily. Maybe you should ask if you can accompany her on an adventure and take pictures (she likes pictures).
That's it. So if you are in Japan or are willing to wait for a long, long, long, long time in the United States for her to come back home, give her a holler. A link to her blog is on the right. Peace.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Reflections of Ric Flair
This weekend is Wrestlemania Weekend and Orlando is buzzing with various appearances at local Walmarts, Best Buys, FYE's, Border's Bookstores, and local libraries. However, this morning our TV station had an interview with the legend, the Dirtiest Player in the Game, The Nature Boy Ric Flair. I was excited. Many people at the TV station were excited for me (most of them knew I am a huge wrestling fan/in training) and were asking me questions about the 16 time world champion. Like the nerd I am, I answered accurately and gave the anchors some talking points for the interview.
Flair, like the persona of excess and class he portrays, arrived in a limo. The anchors both stated "wow, he must be well off." I replied, "Yeah, um, he's lost and made back more money then I'll ever imagine." He walked in during the middle of the show with two skinny guys that I assume were WWE public relations people. He calmly sat down and sipped on coffee that one of the PA's brought to him. Then we went to commercial and set him up for the interview.
Now if you have seen Ric Flair on TV, he does not portray a quiet, mild-mannered gentleman, but a rather boisterous, near-crazy man who you can't help but react to. During the interview, Ric took the time to mention how this weekend was the most important in his career with being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and having his (possibly last) match on Sunday. He even said, "I'm sorry if I'm being low key, but I've got a lot going on in my mind right now."
During the commercial break, a flood of people appeared out of nowhere for autographs and pictures. He patiently and gratefully posed for every photo and spoke to every person. My supervisor (who is nine sorts of awesome, by the way) took me by the arm, made a beeline toward him, and shot the photo you saw above. I got an autographed photo and was able to share a few words with The Man. I told him how much I was looking forward to his match with Shawn Michaels this Sunday and that I appreciated how long he has entertained fans like me. He smiled and humbly said, "Thank you." I didn't want to take up too much of his time, so I thanked him again, shook his hand, and left it at that.
When I looked him in the eye and shook his hand, it told me everything that was going on. I saw fear and sadness. The rumors are true. The look in his eye said, "I'm retiring for good. Now what?" Flair has been wrestling on and off for over 30 years. This is it for him. His job is done. He's also afraid. People can look up on wikipedia and see that he's had some trials in life outside of his career, but that's not what he's afraid of. He's afraid of what to do with the rest of his life. Hell, the man has wrestled longer than I have been alive. He knows nothing else.
If I had the opportunity or the right, I'd say to him that there is life after wrestling. That he'd conquered every mountain in the wrestling business; his new challenge lies elsewhere. He has nothing to fear, nothing to be sad about. Enjoy the memories, Ric. After all, you are getting a proper send off, which is something most wrestlers don't get to experience due to their career being undermined by powerful political enemies in the industry, abrupt career-ending injury, or even death. Go to the ring one last time on Sunday, leave it all in there, and learn to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
I'll join in the inevitable ovation on Sunday after your match chanting, "THANK YOU, FLAIR!"
By the way, my awesome supervisor washed and put the coffee mug Ric drank from into my bookbag while I wasn't looking. Classic.
Friday, March 21, 2008
WRESTLING RELATED BLOG BECAUSE I'M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!! (part 6)
Okay, I swear I'll do some regular, non-wrestling blogs coming up, but those of you that know me know that I had to do it. Everyone has a favorite match on each show. So here it is:
Barnes' Favorite Match from Each Wrestlemania
WM I- Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff- The first Wrestlemania was known mostly for its celebrity involvement than in-ring action. What do you expect with such pop culture icons like Mr. T, Liberace, and Cyndi Lauper hanging around? The crowd dug the main event because they loved Hulk, hated Hot Rod, and were intrigued at B.A. Baracus making an in-ring debut.
WM II- WWF Tag Team Championship Match: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team- One of the greatest tag teams in the '80's finally got it's due beating the "dream" tandem of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake. It's hard to find a bad Bulldog match due to the power wrestling of Davey Boy Smith and the then-unique flying style of the Dynamite Kid and this match stuck out in an otherwise mediocre wrestling card.
WM III- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat- This match has been hailed by many as the best match WWF/WWE ever had and is studied by would-be wrestlers. Great wrestling and great build-up to a satisfying end of Steamboat winning the title and avenging his "life-threatening injury" caused by the hands of the evil Macho Man caused many to consider this match the standard in wrestling.
WM IV- Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts- The fourth Wrestlemania was a show-long tournament for the vacant WWF title with many short matches. Rude and Roberts was great little fight that had vendetta involved and was a battle of awesome mustaches. Both men worked the crowd to enjoying this match despite the conclusion: a time limit draw.
WM V- WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage- The Mega Powers explode! Savage's unfounded jealousy of his valet, Miss Elizabeth, paying attention to Hogan caused a rift between them. One time friends, Hulk and Macho feud over WWF title with Elizabeth in a neutral corner and were able to get the crowd going, leading to another Hogan WWF title reign.
WM VI- Title for Title: WWF Champion Hulk Hogan vs. Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior- This match was one of the first moment in which the WWF had two babyfaces (good guys) fight one another. This allowed the fans to pick sides. Who are you with? The Hulkster or the Warrior? This match, while not a mat classic, had the crowds attention and the fan interaction going. This was supposed be Hogan passing the torch to Warrior as the next big thing in wrestling. Things didn't go as planned however.
WM VII- Retirement Match: The Ultimate Warrior vs. Macho King Randy Savage- This match is probably the best in Warrior's career. Savage was a heel (bad guy) during this latest run and the match was exciting, had the crowd engaged, and had Warrior pin Savage cleanly, thus retiring him. This also had a storybook ending with the Savage reuniting with Miss Elizabeth.
WM VIII- Intercontinental Title Match: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper- This match had great mat wrestling, good psychology, and gave a crowd a memorable finish in Hart pinning Piper cleanly. At this point, Piper had not been pinned in a WWF ring so this gave the young Hart a great push into stardom.
WM IX- Intercontinental Title Match: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels- This Wrestlemania is considered the worst Wrestlemania ever and even I have to agree. However, in this stinkfest Michaels and Tatanka presented a quality match. Too bad that this was opening contest and show turned sour afterward.
WM X- Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart- The match between the two brothers was a great way to kick off Wrestlemania's tenth anniversary. Great technical wrestling along with Owen's unexpected upset set up a great feud that lasted the whole summer of 1994 and then some.
WM XI- WWF Title Match: Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels- A weaker Wrestlemania card featured two real life friends duking it out and delivering a great contest. The build toward the match was weak being that the babyface was a giant and the heel was man dwarfed by most of the roster, but the two delivered and made Shawn look like a legitimate threat to the big belt. While Diesel got his hand raised, it would only be a year later when the wrestling landscape changed.
WM XII- 60 Minute Iron Man Match for the WWF Title: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Shawn Michaels- The main event for this Wrestlemania had little to do with muscles. Hart and Michaels are both considered the best technical wrestlers of all time. Fans would argue over who was more superior a performer than the other. The winner would be the person who had the most pinfalls or decisions within a one hour period. Two lesser competitors would have trouble delivering great action and crowd attention from bell to bell, but both guys delivered. The match went into overtime with Michaels capturing his first World title after both men finished 60 minutes without a decision.
WM XIII- Submission Match: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin- This was one of the matches that made me want to be a wrestler. The unexpectedly brutal contest was ended when a bloodied Austin passed out while in Hart's Sharpshooter submission hold. At the beginning, the fans cheered for their hero, Hart, but in the end the crowd and cheers belonged to the never-say-die Austin. This was one of the few time in which the hero and villain switched roles mid-match and succeeded.
WM XIV- Undertaker vs. Kane- When two wrestlers over 6'5" and just a hamburger away from 300 lbs. fight each other, it usually ends up being disappointing. Both men are usually lumbering. Both men usually get out of breath and are slow. In their prime, Kane and Undertaker are anything but usual. I proclaim this to be the best "big man" match ever with consistent quick brawling, power moves, and an occasional top rope move. 'Taker retained his undefeated Wrestlemania winning streak, but fans saw a star being born in Kane as he kicked out of 'Taker's Tombstone piledriver.
WM XV- WWF Title Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock- The two stars of the late 1990's squared off and had the crowd from bell to bell with great psychology, brawling, and charisma. Both men would later state in interviews that they brought out the best in one another and in this match you can see this to be true.
WM 2000- Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental and European Championships Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho- This was the Wrestlemania debut for all three men. Olympic Champion Angle's lost both his Intercontinental and European titles without even being pinned. With stiff shots, great technical wrestling and non-stop action, this match would be a standard from three-way matches to come with Benoit winning the first fall becoming Intercontinental Champion and Jericho winning the second fall for the European title.
WM XVII- TLC II for the WWF Tag Team Championship- Edge and Christian vs. Hardyz vs. Dudleyz- This was the second Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match featuring all three teams from the first TLC match from the previous summer. This match went all out and had all three teams taking high bumps from the top of the ladders and getting banged up from pillar to post with tables and chairs. While the match was mostly spectacle, the wrestlers were creative using the implements granted to them and once again, stole the show at what many consider to be the best Wrestlemania card ever.
WM XVIII- No Disqualification: Undertaker vs. Ric Flair- In a great wrestling card that featured Triple H vs. Chris Jericho and The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, why in the world would I pick Undertaker vs. Flair? Flair had been on hiatus and hadn't wrestled in a number of months; many wondering if The Dirtiest Player in the Game still had it. Of course, the Nature Boy did and the Dead Man helped. I picked this match because it was lost in the shuffle with the two main events getting the most press and promotion. Flair showed that he can still captivate a crowd and Taker was able to brush off whatever rust Flair had. Hell, the match had a brief cameo with Arn Anderson running in and doing his patented spinebuster for the first time in years. Taker got the win but fans saw that the Nature Boy was alive and well.
WM XIX- Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho- Jericho was pegged as "the next Shawn Michaels" a few years after his debut. Michaels is promoted as "the legend who can still go." Put the two together, you have a show stealer. The two of them displayed great technical wrestling, high flying moves, and great false finishes. The crowd went wild and gave both men their due after this mat classic.
WM XX- Triple Threat Match for World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H- This was and is still the best three way match in WWE. Great in-ring action, consistent and energetic false finishes and the then-feel-good ending of Benoit winning his only WWE World Championship made this a great way to send the crowd home happy with a fairy tale ending. Unfortunately, the real life tragedy of Benoit's double murder-suicide has overshadowed and tainted this moment, but looking at the match as a stand-alone it still holds up.
WM XXI- Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels- Michaels and Angle stole the show with Michaels' showmanship and Angle's great technical skill. Both men pulled out all the stops and presented the best match on the card. This match would allow for quality rematches throughout the rest of the year with both men ending up on an equal playing field.
WM XXII- Hardcore Match: Edge vs. Mick Foley- Most hardcore or garbage matches nowadays trade psychology, storytelling, and time for crowd reaction for bloody, high risk spots. This match reminded wrestlers how hardcore matches should be done. The bloody spots mattered, the weapons were milked to their fullest, and the match told a great story of a hard-fought battle. This match cemented Edge as a main event star and Foley got his "Wrestlemania moment" when Edge speared him through a flaming table for the pin.
WM XXIII- World Heavyweight Title Match: Undertaker vs. Batista- Okay, I'm flip-flopping. Taker vs. Big Dave could be considered the best big man match ever. Taker delivered as he usually does and Batista proved to his critics that he can have an exciting 20 minute contest and not rely solely on power moves and brawling. Both men felt cheated that they were asked to do this match in the middle of the card so they retaliated by having the best match on the card. This one was incredibly tough to follow. Kudos to you both. Oh, and Undertaker won.
WM XXIV- ?????- I don't know which match will be the best on this card. The Money in the Bank Ladder Match never disappoints and Edge vs. Undertaker for the World title might be the darkhorse candidate. I personally look forward to Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels the most because can't seem to have a bad match and Flair is rumored to be retiring after this show, so both men want to give The Nature Boy a great send off. I guess I'll have to wait a week to find out in person.
Barnes' Favorite Match from Each Wrestlemania
WM I- Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff- The first Wrestlemania was known mostly for its celebrity involvement than in-ring action. What do you expect with such pop culture icons like Mr. T, Liberace, and Cyndi Lauper hanging around? The crowd dug the main event because they loved Hulk, hated Hot Rod, and were intrigued at B.A. Baracus making an in-ring debut.
WM II- WWF Tag Team Championship Match: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team- One of the greatest tag teams in the '80's finally got it's due beating the "dream" tandem of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake. It's hard to find a bad Bulldog match due to the power wrestling of Davey Boy Smith and the then-unique flying style of the Dynamite Kid and this match stuck out in an otherwise mediocre wrestling card.
WM III- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat- This match has been hailed by many as the best match WWF/WWE ever had and is studied by would-be wrestlers. Great wrestling and great build-up to a satisfying end of Steamboat winning the title and avenging his "life-threatening injury" caused by the hands of the evil Macho Man caused many to consider this match the standard in wrestling.
WM IV- Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts- The fourth Wrestlemania was a show-long tournament for the vacant WWF title with many short matches. Rude and Roberts was great little fight that had vendetta involved and was a battle of awesome mustaches. Both men worked the crowd to enjoying this match despite the conclusion: a time limit draw.
WM V- WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage- The Mega Powers explode! Savage's unfounded jealousy of his valet, Miss Elizabeth, paying attention to Hogan caused a rift between them. One time friends, Hulk and Macho feud over WWF title with Elizabeth in a neutral corner and were able to get the crowd going, leading to another Hogan WWF title reign.
WM VI- Title for Title: WWF Champion Hulk Hogan vs. Intercontinental Champion The Ultimate Warrior- This match was one of the first moment in which the WWF had two babyfaces (good guys) fight one another. This allowed the fans to pick sides. Who are you with? The Hulkster or the Warrior? This match, while not a mat classic, had the crowds attention and the fan interaction going. This was supposed be Hogan passing the torch to Warrior as the next big thing in wrestling. Things didn't go as planned however.
WM VII- Retirement Match: The Ultimate Warrior vs. Macho King Randy Savage- This match is probably the best in Warrior's career. Savage was a heel (bad guy) during this latest run and the match was exciting, had the crowd engaged, and had Warrior pin Savage cleanly, thus retiring him. This also had a storybook ending with the Savage reuniting with Miss Elizabeth.
WM VIII- Intercontinental Title Match: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper- This match had great mat wrestling, good psychology, and gave a crowd a memorable finish in Hart pinning Piper cleanly. At this point, Piper had not been pinned in a WWF ring so this gave the young Hart a great push into stardom.
WM IX- Intercontinental Title Match: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels- This Wrestlemania is considered the worst Wrestlemania ever and even I have to agree. However, in this stinkfest Michaels and Tatanka presented a quality match. Too bad that this was opening contest and show turned sour afterward.
WM X- Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart- The match between the two brothers was a great way to kick off Wrestlemania's tenth anniversary. Great technical wrestling along with Owen's unexpected upset set up a great feud that lasted the whole summer of 1994 and then some.
WM XI- WWF Title Match: Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels- A weaker Wrestlemania card featured two real life friends duking it out and delivering a great contest. The build toward the match was weak being that the babyface was a giant and the heel was man dwarfed by most of the roster, but the two delivered and made Shawn look like a legitimate threat to the big belt. While Diesel got his hand raised, it would only be a year later when the wrestling landscape changed.
WM XII- 60 Minute Iron Man Match for the WWF Title: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Shawn Michaels- The main event for this Wrestlemania had little to do with muscles. Hart and Michaels are both considered the best technical wrestlers of all time. Fans would argue over who was more superior a performer than the other. The winner would be the person who had the most pinfalls or decisions within a one hour period. Two lesser competitors would have trouble delivering great action and crowd attention from bell to bell, but both guys delivered. The match went into overtime with Michaels capturing his first World title after both men finished 60 minutes without a decision.
WM XIII- Submission Match: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin- This was one of the matches that made me want to be a wrestler. The unexpectedly brutal contest was ended when a bloodied Austin passed out while in Hart's Sharpshooter submission hold. At the beginning, the fans cheered for their hero, Hart, but in the end the crowd and cheers belonged to the never-say-die Austin. This was one of the few time in which the hero and villain switched roles mid-match and succeeded.
WM XIV- Undertaker vs. Kane- When two wrestlers over 6'5" and just a hamburger away from 300 lbs. fight each other, it usually ends up being disappointing. Both men are usually lumbering. Both men usually get out of breath and are slow. In their prime, Kane and Undertaker are anything but usual. I proclaim this to be the best "big man" match ever with consistent quick brawling, power moves, and an occasional top rope move. 'Taker retained his undefeated Wrestlemania winning streak, but fans saw a star being born in Kane as he kicked out of 'Taker's Tombstone piledriver.
WM XV- WWF Title Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock- The two stars of the late 1990's squared off and had the crowd from bell to bell with great psychology, brawling, and charisma. Both men would later state in interviews that they brought out the best in one another and in this match you can see this to be true.
WM 2000- Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental and European Championships Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho- This was the Wrestlemania debut for all three men. Olympic Champion Angle's lost both his Intercontinental and European titles without even being pinned. With stiff shots, great technical wrestling and non-stop action, this match would be a standard from three-way matches to come with Benoit winning the first fall becoming Intercontinental Champion and Jericho winning the second fall for the European title.
WM XVII- TLC II for the WWF Tag Team Championship- Edge and Christian vs. Hardyz vs. Dudleyz- This was the second Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match featuring all three teams from the first TLC match from the previous summer. This match went all out and had all three teams taking high bumps from the top of the ladders and getting banged up from pillar to post with tables and chairs. While the match was mostly spectacle, the wrestlers were creative using the implements granted to them and once again, stole the show at what many consider to be the best Wrestlemania card ever.
WM XVIII- No Disqualification: Undertaker vs. Ric Flair- In a great wrestling card that featured Triple H vs. Chris Jericho and The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, why in the world would I pick Undertaker vs. Flair? Flair had been on hiatus and hadn't wrestled in a number of months; many wondering if The Dirtiest Player in the Game still had it. Of course, the Nature Boy did and the Dead Man helped. I picked this match because it was lost in the shuffle with the two main events getting the most press and promotion. Flair showed that he can still captivate a crowd and Taker was able to brush off whatever rust Flair had. Hell, the match had a brief cameo with Arn Anderson running in and doing his patented spinebuster for the first time in years. Taker got the win but fans saw that the Nature Boy was alive and well.
WM XIX- Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho- Jericho was pegged as "the next Shawn Michaels" a few years after his debut. Michaels is promoted as "the legend who can still go." Put the two together, you have a show stealer. The two of them displayed great technical wrestling, high flying moves, and great false finishes. The crowd went wild and gave both men their due after this mat classic.
WM XX- Triple Threat Match for World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H- This was and is still the best three way match in WWE. Great in-ring action, consistent and energetic false finishes and the then-feel-good ending of Benoit winning his only WWE World Championship made this a great way to send the crowd home happy with a fairy tale ending. Unfortunately, the real life tragedy of Benoit's double murder-suicide has overshadowed and tainted this moment, but looking at the match as a stand-alone it still holds up.
WM XXI- Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels- Michaels and Angle stole the show with Michaels' showmanship and Angle's great technical skill. Both men pulled out all the stops and presented the best match on the card. This match would allow for quality rematches throughout the rest of the year with both men ending up on an equal playing field.
WM XXII- Hardcore Match: Edge vs. Mick Foley- Most hardcore or garbage matches nowadays trade psychology, storytelling, and time for crowd reaction for bloody, high risk spots. This match reminded wrestlers how hardcore matches should be done. The bloody spots mattered, the weapons were milked to their fullest, and the match told a great story of a hard-fought battle. This match cemented Edge as a main event star and Foley got his "Wrestlemania moment" when Edge speared him through a flaming table for the pin.
WM XXIII- World Heavyweight Title Match: Undertaker vs. Batista- Okay, I'm flip-flopping. Taker vs. Big Dave could be considered the best big man match ever. Taker delivered as he usually does and Batista proved to his critics that he can have an exciting 20 minute contest and not rely solely on power moves and brawling. Both men felt cheated that they were asked to do this match in the middle of the card so they retaliated by having the best match on the card. This one was incredibly tough to follow. Kudos to you both. Oh, and Undertaker won.
WM XXIV- ?????- I don't know which match will be the best on this card. The Money in the Bank Ladder Match never disappoints and Edge vs. Undertaker for the World title might be the darkhorse candidate. I personally look forward to Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels the most because can't seem to have a bad match and Flair is rumored to be retiring after this show, so both men want to give The Nature Boy a great send off. I guess I'll have to wait a week to find out in person.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
WRESTLING RELATED BLOG BECAUSE I'M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!! (part 5)
Now, let me set the record straight: I want to be a wrestler. I really do. I really want to complete training to be given the title of "professional wrestler." Now, the question remains, do I want professional wrestling as a career. That answer is sticky. For now, the answer is no. I do want to put myself in a position in which I have to wrestle for money as opposed to getting to wrestle for money. Notice the difference? It's not that I don't think I have what it takes, but I have other dreams/interests I wish to pursue, on top of the fact that it is incredibly hard to have a family (a someday dream) while being a wrestler full time. There is no Social Security, no health benefits, your job is on the line constantly, your career can end at any moment due to injury, and there are huge long term health risks. At the same time, I am willing to put my complete safety on the line to achieve this goal I've set for myself when I was 10 years old.
However, I want to wrestle on my terms. There are many aspects in the wrestling industry that I don't like/wouldn't do. That's another thing that prevents careers: having principals. This includes sex related storylines or religous gimmicks that I wouldn't be comfortable doing. Then there is the in-ring action, which I have compiled a list. Here are:
Crazy Stuff That I Would Require Large Sums of Money/Never Do When/If I Become a Pro Wrestler
10. Ladder Match- Now, I love to watch a ladder match. When done correctly, a ladder match can steal any show. The basics of the ladder match are simple: A title belt or wanted object is hung high above the ring and the competitors have to climb a ladder to retrieve it. Whoever gets the item and pulls it down, wins. There is high chance of injury, wacky bumps (falls), and you need to trust your opponent to protect you. I'd be willing to do a ladder match, but I'd have to be paid at least $10,000. Here are the obvious risks in motion.
9. Legitimate Headbutts- I would never do a legitmate, stiff headbutt. There are already so many risks of concussions in wrestling that there is no reason to willingly kill the braincells of your opponent or yourself.
8. Wrestle Sabu- Sabu is dubbed as "suicidal, homocidal, and genocidal" and "The Human Highlight Reel." Now, while I as a fan enjoy his daredevil moves, he constantly botches them and does very little to protect his opponent. Many have complained about wrestling Sabu because he is sloppy and hurts his opponents legitmately when he screws up. I'd take a risk to wrestle him, but it'd have to be in the high hundreds since A) he's a big name and B) in case I have hospital bills later. At worst he hurts himself but he can also hurt himself and his opponent.
7. Florescent Bulbs- There is no art in breaking a florescent bulb on a person. It's dangerous and uncontrolled because of flying glass shards and inhaling the fumes that are emitted when broken. It scars your head or back and is used for cheap reactions by hacks in the ring. I have nothing against "hardcore" or "garbage" wrestling, but I can't recall anyone reacting to a broken bulb more than a nice, controlled, protected chairshot. It's overused and overrated. Not worth it. Here two idiots bloody themselves in front of an outdoor crowd that probably didn't even pay to watch them.
6. Take a Piledriver/Powerbomb from Someone Weighing Less than Me- Piledrivers and Powerbombs are usually reserved for the bigger guys that are over 6'3" and over 260 lbs. However, more and more I see lighter guys perform these moves. I have no problem using these moves on guys in your weight class, but I see men perform these moves on men significantly larger than they are. This is asinine. Piledrivers and powerbombs are risky enough even when performed correctly. I have seen too many guys dropped on their necks and head due to botched piledrivers and powerbombs. Here's the Big Show nearly getting killed.. Here is Steve Austin talking about the piledriver that ruined his life.
5. Do a Shooting Star Press- A Shooting Star Press is a move usually reserved for lighter guys, but many wrestlers of many sizes try to perform it and either a) land incorrectly on their opponent injuring their face or chest or b) land right on their neck. Ask Brock Lesnar. I think the move needs to be outlawed. The risk is high and the reward is too low. The crowd used to love the move due to the risk and it's uniqueness. It is no longer unique therefore it gets a lesser crowd reaction therefore you risked your health on a move that today gets as big of a reaction as a safe, textbook figure four leglock.
4. Unprotected Chairshot to the Head- Unprotected chairshots are dumb. Sure they make wrestling "realistic," but everyone knows it's fixed so there is no reason to not raise your hand up to protect your head. It makes the same noise as an unprotected chair shot and there is little chance of killing braincells. I don't know about you, but I don't want to kill my brain. People speculate that one of the possible reasons Chris Benoit snapped and killed his family was due to the trauma on his brain that stems from unnecessary moves like taking a chairshot full force to the head without protecting yourself. Here's Brock with another idiot move.
3. Scaffold Match- I hate scaffold matches. They suck. The rules of the scaffold match are simple. The wrestlers are on a scaffold high above the ring. The winner is the wrestler who causes his opponent to fall from the scaffold down to the ring. First off, the scaffold is so wobbly that the wrestlers don't do a lot of moves. In fact, all they do is punch. Boring. Secondly, the drop is so high and dangerous. How is it different than a ladder match? The wrestlers can actually excite a crowd during a ladder match and do a lot of moves ON THE GROUND. Scaffold matches that last more than 3 minutes get "boring" chants and the only way to save the match is to take the big plunge. Then everyone forgets about you when the next match starts. Congrats, you risked your life to a cheap crowd reaction then total apathy afterward. Note how quiet and bored the crowd is before the fall and how quickly it dissipates after the fall.
2. Chairshot to the Back of the Head- There is no reason to agree to this except to be a complete dumbass. There is no way to protect yourself, the back of the head is the most vulnerable spot on the skull, and it sends trauma to the base of the neck This fool doesn't like memories.. It also gets as much of a reaction as a regular chairshot or better yet a chairshot across the back (which is much safer, see? ).
1. Wrestle New Jack- I would never, ever agree to wrestle New Jack. He is too hostile, he doesn't work with his opponents, and frequently goes to business for himself. He is way too nuts, even for a wrestler. The man has four justifiable homocides. He legitamitely injures people and often carves his opponents with various implements. He doesn't even wrestle well, he just uses random stuff to hit his opponent with. He is purely an attraction for violence and no other entertainment value. Whether he is "living his gimmick" (being his character in the real world in order to make outsiders believe his personality) or not, the violence he commits is real. It's not worth it being a rag doll for him. Here's the sadist in action.
Next blog, my favorite match from each Wrestlemania.
However, I want to wrestle on my terms. There are many aspects in the wrestling industry that I don't like/wouldn't do. That's another thing that prevents careers: having principals. This includes sex related storylines or religous gimmicks that I wouldn't be comfortable doing. Then there is the in-ring action, which I have compiled a list. Here are:
Crazy Stuff That I Would Require Large Sums of Money/Never Do When/If I Become a Pro Wrestler
10. Ladder Match- Now, I love to watch a ladder match. When done correctly, a ladder match can steal any show. The basics of the ladder match are simple: A title belt or wanted object is hung high above the ring and the competitors have to climb a ladder to retrieve it. Whoever gets the item and pulls it down, wins. There is high chance of injury, wacky bumps (falls), and you need to trust your opponent to protect you. I'd be willing to do a ladder match, but I'd have to be paid at least $10,000. Here are the obvious risks in motion.
9. Legitimate Headbutts- I would never do a legitmate, stiff headbutt. There are already so many risks of concussions in wrestling that there is no reason to willingly kill the braincells of your opponent or yourself.
8. Wrestle Sabu- Sabu is dubbed as "suicidal, homocidal, and genocidal" and "The Human Highlight Reel." Now, while I as a fan enjoy his daredevil moves, he constantly botches them and does very little to protect his opponent. Many have complained about wrestling Sabu because he is sloppy and hurts his opponents legitmately when he screws up. I'd take a risk to wrestle him, but it'd have to be in the high hundreds since A) he's a big name and B) in case I have hospital bills later. At worst he hurts himself but he can also hurt himself and his opponent.
7. Florescent Bulbs- There is no art in breaking a florescent bulb on a person. It's dangerous and uncontrolled because of flying glass shards and inhaling the fumes that are emitted when broken. It scars your head or back and is used for cheap reactions by hacks in the ring. I have nothing against "hardcore" or "garbage" wrestling, but I can't recall anyone reacting to a broken bulb more than a nice, controlled, protected chairshot. It's overused and overrated. Not worth it. Here two idiots bloody themselves in front of an outdoor crowd that probably didn't even pay to watch them.
6. Take a Piledriver/Powerbomb from Someone Weighing Less than Me- Piledrivers and Powerbombs are usually reserved for the bigger guys that are over 6'3" and over 260 lbs. However, more and more I see lighter guys perform these moves. I have no problem using these moves on guys in your weight class, but I see men perform these moves on men significantly larger than they are. This is asinine. Piledrivers and powerbombs are risky enough even when performed correctly. I have seen too many guys dropped on their necks and head due to botched piledrivers and powerbombs. Here's the Big Show nearly getting killed.. Here is Steve Austin talking about the piledriver that ruined his life.
5. Do a Shooting Star Press- A Shooting Star Press is a move usually reserved for lighter guys, but many wrestlers of many sizes try to perform it and either a) land incorrectly on their opponent injuring their face or chest or b) land right on their neck. Ask Brock Lesnar. I think the move needs to be outlawed. The risk is high and the reward is too low. The crowd used to love the move due to the risk and it's uniqueness. It is no longer unique therefore it gets a lesser crowd reaction therefore you risked your health on a move that today gets as big of a reaction as a safe, textbook figure four leglock.
4. Unprotected Chairshot to the Head- Unprotected chairshots are dumb. Sure they make wrestling "realistic," but everyone knows it's fixed so there is no reason to not raise your hand up to protect your head. It makes the same noise as an unprotected chair shot and there is little chance of killing braincells. I don't know about you, but I don't want to kill my brain. People speculate that one of the possible reasons Chris Benoit snapped and killed his family was due to the trauma on his brain that stems from unnecessary moves like taking a chairshot full force to the head without protecting yourself. Here's Brock with another idiot move.
3. Scaffold Match- I hate scaffold matches. They suck. The rules of the scaffold match are simple. The wrestlers are on a scaffold high above the ring. The winner is the wrestler who causes his opponent to fall from the scaffold down to the ring. First off, the scaffold is so wobbly that the wrestlers don't do a lot of moves. In fact, all they do is punch. Boring. Secondly, the drop is so high and dangerous. How is it different than a ladder match? The wrestlers can actually excite a crowd during a ladder match and do a lot of moves ON THE GROUND. Scaffold matches that last more than 3 minutes get "boring" chants and the only way to save the match is to take the big plunge. Then everyone forgets about you when the next match starts. Congrats, you risked your life to a cheap crowd reaction then total apathy afterward. Note how quiet and bored the crowd is before the fall and how quickly it dissipates after the fall.
2. Chairshot to the Back of the Head- There is no reason to agree to this except to be a complete dumbass. There is no way to protect yourself, the back of the head is the most vulnerable spot on the skull, and it sends trauma to the base of the neck This fool doesn't like memories.. It also gets as much of a reaction as a regular chairshot or better yet a chairshot across the back (which is much safer, see? ).
1. Wrestle New Jack- I would never, ever agree to wrestle New Jack. He is too hostile, he doesn't work with his opponents, and frequently goes to business for himself. He is way too nuts, even for a wrestler. The man has four justifiable homocides. He legitamitely injures people and often carves his opponents with various implements. He doesn't even wrestle well, he just uses random stuff to hit his opponent with. He is purely an attraction for violence and no other entertainment value. Whether he is "living his gimmick" (being his character in the real world in order to make outsiders believe his personality) or not, the violence he commits is real. It's not worth it being a rag doll for him. Here's the sadist in action.
Next blog, my favorite match from each Wrestlemania.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Single? Let Me Tell You About My Friend, Shannon...
My friend, Shannon, stated in her blog that she looked around at Match.com. She expressed embarrassment and also stated that she doesn't know what to put in her profile. I think I can help.
As an aside, there is no shame in Match.com in my opinion. I've been on a few dates that I just wanted to leave in the middle of the meal/coffee/whatever because I really didn't feel connected in any way with the person. I wanted to leave in the middle of the conversation and say "No offense, but let's not kid ourselves," get the rest of my meal to-go, sit at home in my gym shorts and watch wrestling. However, this is socially unacceptable so I suffer through the "date." Match.com and it's brethren, while milking you out of money, tends to avoid the "getting-to-know-you" stuff.
Now, Shannon, about your profile.
*Ahem* "Shannon is rude and foulmouthed, but is kind, thoughtful, and gives a great hug. Shannon will tell you to go fuck yourself, but you deserve it when you hear it. Shannon is a girl that your mom would like but also a girl that your buddies will invite to drink beer and watch UFC. Shannon would rather watch Goonies than The Devil Wears Prada. She is funny and not a bullshit Sarah Silverman-say-racist-shit-in-a-cute-way or Janene Garofalo-push-political-views-without-actually-making-a-joke funny, real humor. Like Lewis Black with boobs. She is feminine, soft, and likes to be held, but will not hesitate to kick your ass if necessary. She doesn't care what season you are wearing. She is smart and will see through your dumbassery. She is a woman, not a girl.
I hope I helped out, Shannon. If I did, you're welcome. If not, then I at least had an entertaining blog.
As an aside, there is no shame in Match.com in my opinion. I've been on a few dates that I just wanted to leave in the middle of the meal/coffee/whatever because I really didn't feel connected in any way with the person. I wanted to leave in the middle of the conversation and say "No offense, but let's not kid ourselves," get the rest of my meal to-go, sit at home in my gym shorts and watch wrestling. However, this is socially unacceptable so I suffer through the "date." Match.com and it's brethren, while milking you out of money, tends to avoid the "getting-to-know-you" stuff.
Now, Shannon, about your profile.
*Ahem* "Shannon is rude and foulmouthed, but is kind, thoughtful, and gives a great hug. Shannon will tell you to go fuck yourself, but you deserve it when you hear it. Shannon is a girl that your mom would like but also a girl that your buddies will invite to drink beer and watch UFC. Shannon would rather watch Goonies than The Devil Wears Prada. She is funny and not a bullshit Sarah Silverman-say-racist-shit-in-a-cute-way or Janene Garofalo-push-political-views-without-actually-making-a-joke funny, real humor. Like Lewis Black with boobs. She is feminine, soft, and likes to be held, but will not hesitate to kick your ass if necessary. She doesn't care what season you are wearing. She is smart and will see through your dumbassery. She is a woman, not a girl.
I hope I helped out, Shannon. If I did, you're welcome. If not, then I at least had an entertaining blog.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
My Funeral
You can't attend your own funeral...we'll at least not as a sentient, flesh being. However, one can plan his/her own funeral via a will, final wishes, etc. I don't know why, but this thought occurred to me and I wanted to publicly plan my own funeral. Mind you, these ideas will change over time because peoples' preferences change over time. However, if I would to die this year, 2008,I want the following to happen at my funeral.
First off, I'm dead. I don't need to be comfortable. So if anyone in my family buys a casket that isn't a cardboard box or giant envelope, smack them in the face and make them return it. While I do not believe in Valhalla, I would either like to have a funeral in which my body is on a mini-barge and lit on fire while being cast into a body of water. No possessions though, I don't need them. If that body of water leads to a waterfall, that would be awesome.
I don't want my body dressed in a tux or a suit. I've always hated wearing those. I'm dead, I don't have any reason to impress anybody. Put me in a one of my pop culture, cartoon t-shirts, khaki cargo shorts, and sneakers. Don't shave my face, I've always had a beard or stubble, so I don't see a reason for that to change. Instead of the warrior tradition of the body holding a sword or axe to his chest, give me a steel chair which is the ideal pro wrestling weapon.
If this is too much for my family to do, then I'll do the Hunter S. Thomspon rip-off. That is having my body cremated and inserted into fireworks shot into the sky at my funeral.
As for the service, I don't want some random reverend to run the service. Give me the Colonel. No churches. Let the service take place at a comedy club. NO HYMNS. I never did care for most of them. Tommy Stewart will be in charge of the music playing whatever he wants. Yes, that also includes metal. If my body is not cremated and is open casket (or envelope), I request someone to write a word balloon propped up next to my carcass that says, "Welcome to my Goodbye Party! Don't cry, I'm fine. Have some fun!"
Carcass shown or not, let everyone who wants to bring photos, bring them. I only request that Eric Lawshe draws a picture of me punching a full grown grizzly bear in the face while I'm smiling and giving a thumbs up. I would like an ice cream truck, chocolate chip cookies, and a waterslide (snowfort, in case of winter) provided for the children who are attending this funeral with their parents. Kids are always bored or creeped out at these things, so they have some fun provided. I will allow the living to nominate who to do the eulogy. Good candidates would be Scott Braithwaite, Dan Kauffman, or Rich Maskiell. I also want Ed Stewart to do a speech. He's good at that.
I'd like Lindsey Thompson, Rachael Heald, Sarah Fuerbacher, and Kathy Sand to sing "Rainbow Connection" ala The Muppet Movie. I also want any of my other friends who are musically inclined and gifted, to sing and play whatever they want. I have never been blessed with the gift of music so I cherish hearing those who I care about display their talents. No U2, though, please. If others want to, share a Bible passage that they like. I also want my goddaugther, Stacy Braithwaite, to say or sing whatever she wants into the microphone for 3 minutes. That is unless she is busy eating cookies, ice cream, or on the waterslide...or in the snowfort beaning some kid with a snowball.
That is when the dodgeball game will commence. The two Team Captains will be Chad Fuerbacher and Paul Kesig. After teams are decided, the game will commence. Once finished, the losing team will one by one mention a short story regarding me or, if they can't think of one/don't want to, their favorite scene in a movie. The winning team will one by one describe me in one word or if they can't think of one/don't want to, state their favorite food. It's ridiculous, but it's a dead man's wish, dammit.
Then light my body or the fireworks.
After that, go to a park or a person's house for pizza, hamburgers, and a chocolate cake that says "Barnes says "Thanks, good journey, and I'll see you on the other side." written in frosting. Those that want to, drink the beer chosen by Matt Hill, Big D, and Matt VanDoren. If you don't want beer, then drink any beverages provided/created by the team of Mel Brisky, Stephanie Burdette, Sarah Pumphrey, and Matt Estes. Then everyone can go home and live their lives to the fullest, as I have intended to do with mine.
That's it. You are all my witnesses, so if I kick the bucket you have to make it happen!
First off, I'm dead. I don't need to be comfortable. So if anyone in my family buys a casket that isn't a cardboard box or giant envelope, smack them in the face and make them return it. While I do not believe in Valhalla, I would either like to have a funeral in which my body is on a mini-barge and lit on fire while being cast into a body of water. No possessions though, I don't need them. If that body of water leads to a waterfall, that would be awesome.
I don't want my body dressed in a tux or a suit. I've always hated wearing those. I'm dead, I don't have any reason to impress anybody. Put me in a one of my pop culture, cartoon t-shirts, khaki cargo shorts, and sneakers. Don't shave my face, I've always had a beard or stubble, so I don't see a reason for that to change. Instead of the warrior tradition of the body holding a sword or axe to his chest, give me a steel chair which is the ideal pro wrestling weapon.
If this is too much for my family to do, then I'll do the Hunter S. Thomspon rip-off. That is having my body cremated and inserted into fireworks shot into the sky at my funeral.
As for the service, I don't want some random reverend to run the service. Give me the Colonel. No churches. Let the service take place at a comedy club. NO HYMNS. I never did care for most of them. Tommy Stewart will be in charge of the music playing whatever he wants. Yes, that also includes metal. If my body is not cremated and is open casket (or envelope), I request someone to write a word balloon propped up next to my carcass that says, "Welcome to my Goodbye Party! Don't cry, I'm fine. Have some fun!"
Carcass shown or not, let everyone who wants to bring photos, bring them. I only request that Eric Lawshe draws a picture of me punching a full grown grizzly bear in the face while I'm smiling and giving a thumbs up. I would like an ice cream truck, chocolate chip cookies, and a waterslide (snowfort, in case of winter) provided for the children who are attending this funeral with their parents. Kids are always bored or creeped out at these things, so they have some fun provided. I will allow the living to nominate who to do the eulogy. Good candidates would be Scott Braithwaite, Dan Kauffman, or Rich Maskiell. I also want Ed Stewart to do a speech. He's good at that.
I'd like Lindsey Thompson, Rachael Heald, Sarah Fuerbacher, and Kathy Sand to sing "Rainbow Connection" ala The Muppet Movie. I also want any of my other friends who are musically inclined and gifted, to sing and play whatever they want. I have never been blessed with the gift of music so I cherish hearing those who I care about display their talents. No U2, though, please. If others want to, share a Bible passage that they like. I also want my goddaugther, Stacy Braithwaite, to say or sing whatever she wants into the microphone for 3 minutes. That is unless she is busy eating cookies, ice cream, or on the waterslide...or in the snowfort beaning some kid with a snowball.
That is when the dodgeball game will commence. The two Team Captains will be Chad Fuerbacher and Paul Kesig. After teams are decided, the game will commence. Once finished, the losing team will one by one mention a short story regarding me or, if they can't think of one/don't want to, their favorite scene in a movie. The winning team will one by one describe me in one word or if they can't think of one/don't want to, state their favorite food. It's ridiculous, but it's a dead man's wish, dammit.
Then light my body or the fireworks.
After that, go to a park or a person's house for pizza, hamburgers, and a chocolate cake that says "Barnes says "Thanks, good journey, and I'll see you on the other side." written in frosting. Those that want to, drink the beer chosen by Matt Hill, Big D, and Matt VanDoren. If you don't want beer, then drink any beverages provided/created by the team of Mel Brisky, Stephanie Burdette, Sarah Pumphrey, and Matt Estes. Then everyone can go home and live their lives to the fullest, as I have intended to do with mine.
That's it. You are all my witnesses, so if I kick the bucket you have to make it happen!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Random Internet Shtuff
Real blog later (yes, involving Wrestlemania/wrestling), but here are some websites to check out.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/ - We have all read the Garfield comic strip in our local paper. It can funny sometimes...okay at others...or you are left wondering what the joke was. However, what if Garfield was absent from his own comic strip? Check the link to see the sad, lonely life of Jon Arbuckle.
www.thefullpint.com - Beer reviews for those that love beer! And I'm not talking about that Natural Light crap.
http://www.spacecat.com/bert/bert.htm - Evidence that Bert of Sesame Street may indeed be evil...I knew I couldn't trust those eyebrows.
www.collegeuniv.com - Ah, remember college? Roommates. Exams. Dating. Monkeys in the student body. Your alien pal. Cafes run by kung fu masters. Optimus Prime in charge of campus security. Yeah, college was good times.
www.askaninja.com - Got a question? Is it about ninjas? Yes? Cool. No? Well, whatever it is a ninja can relate anyway. Ask a ninja. Suprisingly helpful, always hilarious, and seriously deadly. Thanks for checking out my blog, I look forward to killing you soon!
http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/ - We have all read the Garfield comic strip in our local paper. It can funny sometimes...okay at others...or you are left wondering what the joke was. However, what if Garfield was absent from his own comic strip? Check the link to see the sad, lonely life of Jon Arbuckle.
www.thefullpint.com - Beer reviews for those that love beer! And I'm not talking about that Natural Light crap.
http://www.spacecat.com/bert/bert.htm - Evidence that Bert of Sesame Street may indeed be evil...I knew I couldn't trust those eyebrows.
www.collegeuniv.com - Ah, remember college? Roommates. Exams. Dating. Monkeys in the student body. Your alien pal. Cafes run by kung fu masters. Optimus Prime in charge of campus security. Yeah, college was good times.
www.askaninja.com - Got a question? Is it about ninjas? Yes? Cool. No? Well, whatever it is a ninja can relate anyway. Ask a ninja. Suprisingly helpful, always hilarious, and seriously deadly. Thanks for checking out my blog, I look forward to killing you soon!
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