My friend, Shannon, stated in her blog that she looked around at Match.com. She expressed embarrassment and also stated that she doesn't know what to put in her profile. I think I can help.
As an aside, there is no shame in Match.com in my opinion. I've been on a few dates that I just wanted to leave in the middle of the meal/coffee/whatever because I really didn't feel connected in any way with the person. I wanted to leave in the middle of the conversation and say "No offense, but let's not kid ourselves," get the rest of my meal to-go, sit at home in my gym shorts and watch wrestling. However, this is socially unacceptable so I suffer through the "date." Match.com and it's brethren, while milking you out of money, tends to avoid the "getting-to-know-you" stuff.
Now, Shannon, about your profile.
*Ahem* "Shannon is rude and foulmouthed, but is kind, thoughtful, and gives a great hug. Shannon will tell you to go fuck yourself, but you deserve it when you hear it. Shannon is a girl that your mom would like but also a girl that your buddies will invite to drink beer and watch UFC. Shannon would rather watch Goonies than The Devil Wears Prada. She is funny and not a bullshit Sarah Silverman-say-racist-shit-in-a-cute-way or Janene Garofalo-push-political-views-without-actually-making-a-joke funny, real humor. Like Lewis Black with boobs. She is feminine, soft, and likes to be held, but will not hesitate to kick your ass if necessary. She doesn't care what season you are wearing. She is smart and will see through your dumbassery. She is a woman, not a girl.
I hope I helped out, Shannon. If I did, you're welcome. If not, then I at least had an entertaining blog.
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4 comments:
I'm Lewis Black with boobs!! I kick ass!
That was quite accurate.
Consider that my input as well. Thanks, Barnes.
As Shannon's sister I can say Right ON! Thanks for helping my sister out and for understanding her so well.
Can you write one of those for me? ;)
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