Barnes' WrestleWeekend Journal

Let me foreworn you, fellow readers, that this is a long entry. I suggest you either have nothing better to do or, like a good ice cream sandwich, indulge in little bites. This past weekend was one of the best weekends in recent memory...as a matter of fact, I didn't have this much fun since probably early 2006. I wish to share with you my journey into the heart of my WrestleWeekend. Don't worry, non-wrestling fans, this isn't just a "this match was good, this wasn't, blah, blah." Don't get me wrong, there is some of that, but like most adventures it is about the journey rather than the destination. The days and occurances of the journal are accurate and the times are approximate. Without further delay, I give you Barnes' WrestleWeekend Journal.

Friday, March 28, 2008

3:39AM- I wake for my last day of work until Tuesday. I have my hair cut, my beard trimmed, and the rest of my face shaven. I brush, floss, and Listerine like I usually do, but I do the routine twicefold. After all, I have to be presentable when I meet Ric Flair.

8: 09AM- It is reported by the weatherman (or meteorologist if you want to technical about it) that Ric Flair's limo just got into the parking lot. The anchors are surprised that he would arrive in a limo. I shake my head at them. Before Ric's arrival into the studio, all the techs bet on how many people would be in his entourage aside from Flair himself. Rollen, my supervisor, bets 5. Scott, the male anchor, thinks he's coming alone. I suggest three. After all, Flair needs three men to have his Four Horsemen.

8:15AM- Flair and his men walk into the studio during the live broadcast. He has three gentlemen in suits with him. Called it. Flair sits down on a padded chair and the PA brings coffee in a CW mug. I ended up getting that mug (IT WAS WASHED, DON'T WORRY). For further details on this encounter, read my Relflections on Ric Flair blog.

3:20PM- After a nice lunch at BD's Mongolian BBQ (one of the best restaurants ever), my weekend starts at the cinema for Run, Fatboy, Run. It's no Hot Fuzz, but it was a solid comedy. I look forward to buying it on DVD used at my local MovieStop two years from now.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

6:18PM- I arrive at the Ring of Honor's Supercard of Honor III show being held at the local rec center. This is Ring of Honor's second show ever in Florida, the first one being the night before. I park in a dirt lot, giving a strange man $5 to park there. I ask if the lot was going to be guarded. He said yes and I'd have to present my ticket stub in order to gain access. I park and the man asks me to move closer to the other car. I explain to him that a) I'm not 2D and cannot shimmy through the cars when I open the door and b) I'd take you more seriously if you actually had a paved lot with lines and not a dirt pile with uneven terrain. He couldn't argue against that, so I got my space to breathe and proceeded to the rec center.

6:31PM- I wait in line to get in. I already have tickets but there is still a line? WTF? At the entranceway, I see a wheelchair-bound man with a beard and rags asking for change and cracking jokes. He was entertaining and I was inspired that a man that was that down on his luck would be so jovial. Then the heavyset woman in front of me explained that he was a local indy wrestler and that was his gimmick; he wasn't really homeless or crippled. Now, I can somewhat understand if this was a comedy skit for some candid-camera-esque show, but how are you going to get a gimmick like that over with the crowd as a wrestler when your character CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO THE RING. There was also a real person in a wheelchair, so this had to be a real smack in the mouth to him. This, along with being scrawny as hell, is why you'll never make it past indy level, buddy.

6:46PM- I'm inside, make a beeline to the restroom, then head to the merchandise table. I got this t-shirt, an action figure, a DVD featuring Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi in one of the most brutal matches not involving blood, and a Best of Chikara DVD for a great deal. What's Chikara? Imagine if Monty Python, a comedy on Telemundo, and a Japanese game show merged together and had a wrestling show. Those are my kind of people.

7:06PM- I sit in my chair on the floor. Great view. On my left is a morbidly obese gentleman who is covering up his bodily odor with Aqua Velva. It's not working. In front of my me is an even more obese gentleman who smells like moldy tangerines and a festering washrag. I politely try to make conversation with both gentlemen to try to overlook the odors and make friends. They both snub me. So that's why they smell: they're assholes!

7:21PM- Nine minutes until bell-time and the guy who is seated at my right sits down. I ask him if he knew what the card was. In a polite British accent, the guy stated he didn't know. We hit it off and, as if I were an ambassador to the U.S., welcomed him to the States. He stated that he just got off the plane and beelined here for the show. At last minute, he decided to fly down here for the weekend for this show and Wrestlemania the following night since buttons are worth more than the American dollar nowadays. We then proceeded to yell and chant for the show to begin.

7:30PM- Go Shiozaki beat Delirious- This was a fun comedy match. Delirious' character is a masked wrestler that's a little crazy and his catchphrase is simply saying, "BAHHH!" loudly. Go is an import from Dragon Gate, a wrestling promotion in Japan. Fans were all chanting, "GO! GO! GO!" while Delirious fans shouted, "STOP! STOP! STOP!" This reminds me why I love going to indy wrestling shows. Go wins with a brainbuster-esque move. This is gonna be a fun show.

7:44PM- YRR defeated D.I.N.G.O.- A person pushing another person in a wheelchair tries to find their seats. My British buddy and I move our chairs to let them through. The fat a-holes don't. Seriously, guys. The Brit and I have no idea who any of these wrestlers are except one guy on D.I.N.G.O. is Luke from the old WWF tag team, The Bushwackers. He does the trademark Bushwacker wavy-arms walk and licks the faces of nearby fans. I'm not making this up. It was short and fun, but these a-holes are pissing me off.

7:56PM- The No Remorse Corps retained the ROH tag titles against The Vulture Squad. Lots of flying, lots of near falls, and the crowd was buzzing. Larry Sweeney, my new wrestling hero, entertains the crowd, tossing business cards at us for his Sweet and Sour Inc. stable and management team. He calls out NRC leader Roderick Strong and asks him to join his group. He declines which causes Erick Stevens to come out and brawl with him.

8:09PM- Erick Stevens vs. Roderick Strong in a no-contest- Good lord. Guys, I know that you are building up a PPV match, but geez. Both men chopped each other on the chest so hard that not only did the sick cracks vibrate in the building but BOTH MEN'S CHESTS WERE BLEEDING. No fake blood (which doesn't actually exist in pro wrestling) or using a razorblade to make cuts. Legit, hardway blood. They both did blade (cutting themselves at the top the skull to let blood cover their faces) after exchanging hits to the turnbuckle. They both exchange stiff forearms to the head and neck. The Brit and I remark on how we can hear the smacks of flesh. The finale was Strong hitting Stevens with an unprotected chairshot to the skull. Stevens is an idiot or wants a two year career if he agrees to do that. The sound resonates to the point in that the crowd quiets down in shock. Then some of the crowd chants, "HOLY SHIT." The villain Strong beckons his NRC to come to ring and shave off Stevens' mohawk in the middle of the ring. Stevens, you better hope that your PPV match draws a lot of money to justify killing your braincells and losing your hairstyle. The Brit and I both remark on how it was cool to watch, but grossly unnecessary to enhance both men's careers.

8:27PM-Age of the Fall beats The Briscoe Brothers- The Briscoes are good ol' boys who love to fly. Age of the Fall are emo kids trying to change the world. Let the ideologies clash. These guys fought in the crowd most of the match, which sucks since most of the time you can't see what's going on. Jay Briscoe suplexed Tyler Black into our section, chairs flying about, and brawling everywhere. The seating chart is now worthless. On the other side of the building, Jay Briscoe jumps off the top of the bleachers through a table when his opponent moves out of the way. The Brit stands on his chair and gives me play by play. I'm too large to stand on my chair without breaking it and killing myself. Good crowd interaction along with a great finish.

8:42PM- Intermission- The Brit and I don't want to pay $6 for a crappy burger and $1 for a can of soda, so we sit and talk about politics, the greatness and crappiness of Guy Richie, our struggles to find jobs in media (he's a film student, just graduated), and how we both hope the American economy gets better. He's loyal to the Crown, but wants the U.S. to succeed and pick itself up. I comment how I'd love to travel across the pond and visit his country. In July, of course. He laughs. My kind of bloke.

9:15ishPM- Intermission ends. The tangerine-dishrag man sits on his seat and extends his legs, backing into my seat to the point that he might as well be sitting on my lap. I politely ask him to scoot forward. He moves an eighth of an inch forward. I'd punch him in the mouth, but that would make him worth my anger. The Brit graciously offers me some of his leg room and moves his chair to his right.

9:17PM- BxB Hulk and SHINGO beat Kevin Steen and El Generico- Another match featuring wrestlers from Dragon Gate. I don't know why, but a lot of Japanese wrestlers like to incorporate English or some form of it into their wrestling names. That being said, I have no idea what a BxB Hulk is. I imagine that it is under 6 feet tall, is muscular, and has the best red Marge Simpson mullet I've ever seen. I imagine that because that was what was in front of me. SHINGO (it has be spelled in all caps for emphasis I suppose) looks like a regular Japanese wrestler. El Generico, a crowd favorite, is a white skinny guy in a luchadore (Mexcian wrestler) mask and loves to scream "Ole!" during his matches. Kevin Steen is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man with the speed of Lance Armstrong. Fun match with Steen doing a moonsault (a backflip from the top rope) and the Japanese team getting the victory. Great match with fans chanting "OLE-OLE-OLE-OLAYYYYYY---OLAYYYYY---OLAYYYY!" like at a soccer match during the contest.

9:34PM- ROH Champion Nigel McGuinness beat Austin Aries to retain the ROH title- Great mat wrestling and hard hits. Aries did a few high flying moves from the the top rope and did some stiff knees to the head of Nigel. 2/3rds of the crowd chanted, "LET'S-GO-AUSTIN" while the Brit, the rest of the crowd, and myself yelled, "LET'S-GO-NIGEL" in a chant exchange. There were many false finishes that had the crowd buying into the match and locked into it. No one was at the bathroom, merch table, or concessions. Nigel hit a lariat on Aries so hard that everyone in the building heard the crack. I honestly thought Aries injured his jaw. Nigel got the pin which made my Englishman friend happy since Nigel is a fellow countryman.

Age of the Fall comes out and wants Austin to join them. He accepts. Then Tammy Sytch, formerly Sunny in WWF, comes out to try to change Austin's mind. Doesn't work. AOTF try to beat down Tammy and the Briscoes come out to the rescue. Meh. I'm not going to see the rematch, so I don't care.

10:04PM- The Muscle Outlaws defeated CIMA, Dragon Kid, and Ryo Saito- Holy crap. All these guys are from Dragon Gate and man did they steal the show. I think they did every single move ever in pro wrestling...then invented nine more during the match. There were so many spots in which I thought, "Well, that's gonna end the match" and I was totally wrong. The fans were really into it, counting along with the refree throughout the contest. When the match ended, the fans and I chanted, "ARI-GATO!" which means "Thank you" in Japanese and "PLEASE COME BACK!" while all six men bowed and said thanks.

10:43PM- Shows over and we start to move toward the exits. The Brit and I shake hands. It occurs to the both of us that we didn't introduce ourselves. I state my name was Erik. His is Ed. Huh. English Ed. I tell him to enjoy the rest of his time in the States and to have fun at Wrestlemania (he has floor seats, the lucky limey). He says that he will and wishes me well. I said, "Cheers" and he responded in kind. I walked over to my car at the "lot" and find it to be unguarded. I had too much fun to care and no one did anything to my vehicle, so I drove home.

11:48PM- The usually 15 minute drive took me almost an hour. I watched a little bit of my Chikara DVD and went to sleep.

Sunday, March 30, 2008- WRESTLEMANIA XXIV

12:15PM- I leave my home on the quest to find good parking at Amway Arena to take the free shuttle to the Citrus Bowl. I pass the parking area twice and was guided by a Parking Rep to go to Lot 1. Lot 1? Sounds good and close. Too bad that Lot 1 was full. And was for handicapped parking only. So I paid my five bucks and went to nearest garage. I had to drive all the way to the top floor. I think if I stood on my tippy toes, I could have touched the sun. I proceeded to the shuttle and arrived at the Citrus Bowl.

1:18PM- I'm outside the Citrus Bowl knawing on an overpriced burger and chicken fingers. I should have known that there weren't any real restaurants near the Bowl. Ah well. I get the full experience this way. I walk around the Bowl and there are fans EVERYWHERE. In a gated area, there was a live band and various stands advertising local media outlets and businesses abound. There was fan trivia and merch tables galore. There were fans interacting, talking, yelling, debating, young ones cheering for John Cena, old ones talking about the hey-day of Ric Flair, snooty ones stating that independent wrestling is better, college-educated ones talking about how wrestling is the last surviving art of vaudeville and theater-of-the-round, hillbillies who can't separate fantasy from reality are polishing off beer number 16 and discussing on how Hulkamania changed their lives, and confused girlfriends wondering how the hell did their boyfriends convince them to come to such a place. It was part Wrestling Convention/part Wrestling Woodstock. These people are mutants, but dammit, they are MY MUTANTS! I enter the mass and join with my people.

1:49PM- I find out the doors don't open until 4:30PM, so I walk about and head to the merch table. I got a few t-shirts like this, this, and this. I went to a separate stand and got some binoculars just in case. There was nothing wrestling related on the box or at the stand, but when I opened it up the Wrestlemania logo was pasted on them. Destiny is weird.

2:14PM- I walked around and TNA, a rival wrestling promotion that tapes it's nationally aired TV show here in Orlando, had a huge video wall just outside Citrus Bowl property advertising for its upoming pay-per-view, Lockdown. There were members of TNA's street team passing out flyers advertising for the event and it's program on Spike TV. It is stuff like this that will prevent WWE from doing Wrestlemania from Orlando in the near future.

2:32PM- I sit in the shade of an awning, reading, and sipping a beer. I'm seated next to three guys from Portland, OR that are stoked about the event. We discuss what matches to we are looking forward to, predictions, and whatnot. Nice guys. They had to leave in order to get a buddy that was having trouble finding parking. We exchanged goodbyes and nice-meeting-yous.

2:56PM- After a little bit of reading, I decided to walk around a little more. I got another beer. Believe it or not, it was one of the cheaper concessions at the event. I spoke to an older guy, who has been following Ric Flair's career for almost 20 years. He stated that "this generation sucks" and the new fans "need to learn their history." I'd be hardpressed to disagree, but not as harshly as he proclaimed. Then a few feet away, I looked to my right and saw him. Tangerine-Dishrag Man. He tried to catch my gaze, but I dashed before I could be turned into stone.

3:15PM- I stand in line to use the port-a-potty. Three guys dressed up like HHH, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker walk around and pose for pictures. The costumes are awesome. Even wearing 6 inch lifts in his shoes, "Undertaker" was still under 6 feet tall. I tried to take a photo of them with my camera phone. Then I realized my camera phone sucks. A New Yorker and I chat while in line. We discuss how some guys try to break into this industry when, with all due to respect to their hard work and their dreams, they have no business trying. The New Yorker is apparently friends with two local wrestling promoters/trainers and how they turn down a bunch of guys who are too unathletic (skinny or obese) or have too little charisma to make it. I stated that I concur with his statements, but proclaimed that if they want to achieve their dream, go for it...but don't expect any financial success. I also told him of my experience in wrestling school in Cincinnati and how I left the school because a) most of the students there were morbidly obese or made out of plastic straws, so I knew the instructor was just taking their money, b) the guy wasn't sure how to critique my bumping (taking falls), and c) most of the wrestling he was teaching was for lighter guys under 6 feet tall because he was under 6 feet tall. I'm sorry, but a guy my size isn't going to do arm drags or headscissors. He agreed with my accessment (he apparently heard of the school I was at) and told me that I had a good look for wrestling so I might have a shot once I get back into it. I said thanks, used the facilities, bumped knuckles with New Yorker, and we told each other to enjoy the show.

4:18PM- I wait in line (again with the lines, I HAVE TICKETS ALREADY!) to get into the Bowl. I call Ed Stewart and give him some details, telling him that I talked to guys from England, New York, Portland, and that I saw a few Japanese guys walking around speaking in their native tongue. After stating this, the man to my left told me he came from Scotland in an accent so thick that it had to be real. After jawing with Ed, I talked to two guys from Chicago who bought tickets from a scalper and were drinking 40s that they got from a gas station. I should have thought of getting food from there. That being said, I got a third beer.

4:30PM- We are let in. The mob goes nuts and heads to concessions for $6 funnelcakes and $8 slices of pizza the size of a Ritz cracker. I get to my seat. Not a bad view. The wrestlers are about the size of action figures. I use my binoculars to properly adjust them to view the ring. Then I thought, you know, if I use the binoculars I can only see part of the ring up close in shaky vision. Besides, if I wanted to watch it from that perspective, I'd watch it on TV. Also, if something happens and I can't see, there is a giant screen hanging above the ring that I can watch from. I then put my binolculars in my pocket to save for other events. Seated to my right is a 7 year old kid with his two guardians. We actually conversed and I asked him stuff like, "Who's your favorite wrestler, who do you want to win, is this your first live event, etc.?" Cool kid. To my left are a Hispanic couple who speak en espanol, however we had friendly banter in English. In front of me, to my left was a young couple from Texas. I ask the pretty lady if she actually liked this or if her boyfriend dragged her here. She responded that she grew to like wrestling and actually purchased the tickets as Christmas gift for her boyfriend. I immediately asked if she had a sister who was single. No luck. She asked if the boy to my right was my son. I responded with a quick, matter-of-fact, "Oh, hell no. Oh, dear Lord, no." She laughed. The boy laughed. I walked to get an overpriced burger.

5:17PM- I get my final beer of the day and wait in line for a burger. The guy on my right nudged me and HOLY CRAP! It's my British buddy, English Ed! Out of the 74,000+ people and seemingly dozens of food stands we bump into each other! We exchanged greetings, spoke a little, and told each other to enjoy the show, especially since he got great seats towards ringside. "Cheers, Erik." Cheerio, Ed. Cheerio.

6:30PM- The pre-show has started and the three seats in front of me are vacant. The little kid and I plan on moving forward and upgrading ourselves if no one shows up when real show starts. The Wrestlemania pre-show featured a 24 man battle royal (since this is the 24th Wrestlemania) with the winner facing ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero for the ECW title later on in the night. It was quite short, only going five minutes. The kid was cheering for almost everybody which is fine and I encourage that at a wrestling show. The problem was that since he is 7 and his testicles have yet to descend, he has a high pitched shrill. I think I lost a third of my hearing in my right ear due to a shriek of "COME ON, TOMMY DREAMER!!!!" Afterward, the guardians apparently noticed my plight and graciously asked their boy to sit in-between them. I thanked them and told them if he needed to use my binoculars, that he is more than welcome to them. Kane won, so he'll face Chavo later in the show.

7:00PM- Wrestlemania XXIV begins! John Legend is introduced and sings "America the Beautiful." Too many fans stand up and don't know that this is not the national anthem. John Legend is a good singer. I ain't buying an album though. It starts to sprinkle. I'm too excited to care. Fireworks shot off into the open air. A plane with a banner stating WOOO!!! GO TO MEN'S FANTASY! flew around throughout the night. At this point, I didn't look at my watch, so no more estimated times.

JBL beats Findlay in a Belfast Brawl- A good ol' fight to open stuff up. Fans loved Hornswoggle. I was in the lowest upper deck and I could hear the sound of trash cans hitting skulls. I heard the crunch of man being tossed into a table in the turnbuckle. JBL clotheslined the snot out of Findlay for the pin.

Kim Kardashian ("star" of the "hit reality show," Meet the Kardashians) talked about Money in the Bank Ladder match. Mr. Kennedy yelled his name near her face. Glorious.

CM Punk wins the Money in the Bank ladder match- Chris Jericho's entrance was huge! Man, the pyro was awesome but afterward I thought I was inhaling a sparkler. It was huge with the video wall imprinting huge letters saying, SAVE_US Y2J. I yelled out "We're saved!!!," much to the laughter and appreciation of those around me. I love watching ladder matches on TV. Watching it live, however, I thought that I was doing something illegal like attending a cock fight. Good Lord. These guys took tumbles from such a height...man, watching it live...you know I can't find words. There was a huge see-saw spot in the ring in which everyone got smacked around and guys lept from top rope onto ladders and...man, I just can't fathom it. Matt Hardy came out and the whole Citrus Bowl expoded with chants of "HARDY! HARDY! HARDY!" Punk eventually got up and grabbed the briefcase. Huh. Pleasant surprise. The seats in front of me are filled by four little 9 year olds...but there were only three seats available...and their female guardian was hanging out on the aisleway watching them. Hmm.

The WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2008 were introduced. Mae Young got the biggest reaction and is still feisty at the age of 85. Then a skit involving Snoop Dog, Santino Marella, and Festus aired. It got some good laughs.

Batista beat Umaga- The crowd loved Batista's entrance...and that's it. The crowd was quiet mostly until Batista did a powerbomb to win it. The sprinkles stopped. It was windy the rest of the show.

Kane beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship- Chavo was introduced first and then Kane's entrance music and pyro fired off. Flames surrounded the front of the stage and with the video wall showing burning buildings with red lights and hues. I was no longer at the Citrus Bowl. I was in the bowels of Hell. Kane came at Chavo from behind, chokeslammed him, and pinned him. The total match time was less than 30 seconds. Rip off, but still I like the fact Kane is champ now.

Raven Simone, of television's The Cosby Show and That's So Raven, came out to discuss her and WWE's partnership with the Make A Wish Foundation. The cameramen showed all the Make-A-Wish kids that attended the event. Good stuff.

Shawn Michaels pinned Ric Flair, retiring him.- This was the match I was looking forward to the most. Michaels came up to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd. Then Ric Flair emerged from the curtain. Everyone was standing. Flair arrived in probably the best feathered robe in the history of ever. The best way to describe it is with the message I texted my friend Tommy: "Behold, the Blue Rooster of Hope." These guys had a great match. Men chanted Flair's name over and over. Towards the end, the camera zoomed in on Michaels' face as he mouthed, "I'm sorry. I love you." and zoomed out to see Michaels kick the hell out of Ric's jaw and pin him. In slow motion replay, you can see legitimate impact. Afterward, Michaels hugged Ric, left the ring quickly, without time for fanfare. I led my section in a chant of "THANK YOU, RIC!" and others started similar chants in other sections. The cameras zoomed in on Flair's face, sobbing. I looked around and saw grown men, women, and kids cry. I got a little choked up as well. Just before I wrote this, I read a report stating that Flair outright refused to go on last at the show because he did not want to overshadow any of the title matches or any of the younger guys. A class act. Long Live The Nature Boy.

There's a promo with Edge. The fans yelled BOOOOOOO. Mission accomplished.

WWE Women's Champion Beth Phoenix & Melina defeated Maria & Ashley Massaro in a Bunnymania Match featuring Snoop Dogg as guest ring announcer- Security comes by and tells the woman in aisle that she cannot stay stand there and watch the show. She explains how she has a ticket but it's far away from where the kids she is accompanying are sitting. I smell scalper. After a long debate, we in the section tell the security person that she is literally watching the kids and not the show so we aren't bothered. The security guys turns a blind eye to the situation and we proceed to watch the "match." The little boys in front of me were excited to see the ladies. I proceeded to comment that the boys had no idea what they were excited about. The crowd around me seemed to echo the statement. The wrestling sucked. Man, it was awful. In the middle of the match, the power went out in the stadium and damage control began. The back-up generator kicked in and all the spotlights were focused on the ring. The match had a mercy killing, ending around 5 minutes. The only cool part was when Snoop Dogg beat up oafish wrestler, Santino Marella, who had accompanied the evil team in the match. Another security guy spoke to the woman on the aisle causing friction among the security staff. Ultimately, the woman remained unmoved. The Texan couple proceeded to walk up and get some refreshments. The lady on the aisle proceeded to sit in their seats knowing that they would be back. That pissed me off. I didn't say anything because I didn't want the kids to be kicked out of a cool wrestling show because their guardian is an irresponsible jerkbag.

Randy Orton defeated John Cena & Triple H to retain the WWE Championship in a Triple Threat Match- John Cena entered with a marching band playing his theme. That's kinda cool. HHH had a sweet entrance involving pyro shooting off, encircling the bowl. The power was back on in full force. The crowd seemed primarily split between HHH and John Cena with a few Orton fans shouting out. The Texans came back in the middle of the match and jerkbag thankfully went back to the aisle without incident. The match was pretty fun to watch with the villain Orton stealing a win after HHH hit Cena with a pedigree. The Hispanic guy, the Texan, and I were all okay with that because that meant Cena wasn't the champ.

Floyd Mayweather defeated Big Show- This match was okay. The entrances went too long and the crowd was very pro-Big Show. That's bad because Big Show was supposed to be the bad guy in this match. This was the best boxer vs. wrestler match ever...which doesn't say anything since all previous boxer vs. wrestler matches sucked. A wrestler can't box and a boxer can't wrestle. That being said, the two guys did fairly well. Mayweather sold his moves very well and there was copious amounts of interference from Mayweather's posse. It took over 7 people, a steel chair, and brass knuckles for Floyd Mayweather to beat Show. The crowd booed Floyd which apparently shocked WWE matchmakers. Seriously guys. I don't care that Floyd was the David in this David vs. Goliath recreation. If David had seven big guys, a trident, and had God punch Goliath to beat him, we'd side with the giant, too. Afterward, jerkbag told the boys that they had to leave, just before the main event. I feel bad for the kids. Then after they left, I upgraded, sitting in their former seats for the main event.

Undertaker beat Edge for World Heavyweight Championship- Undertaker had a great entrance. It was eerie, creepy, and had lightning and pyro. It was a grand experience. Then a handful of people started to leave in order to beat traffic. Their loss. These guys had a great match with many false finishes. When Undertaker finally made Edge submit, the crowd went nuts. The Undertaker's entrance theme with the "BONG" bell ringing and fireworks shooting into the sky and down toward the ring made for a grand finale...except that some fireworks went off incorrectly on one row, burning 35 people (as of this writing no serious injuries or burns are reported). A great show, great experience.

I then walked over to the shuttle passing several guys selling bootleg t-shirts. I saw that one bootlegger had t-shirts that said "WrestleMadness." I shook my head because he had no idea why no one was buying them. When I got to the shuttle, I had a conversation with three other Floridians expressing our thoughts on the show. We got off the shuttle, said our goodbyes, and went to the parking garage. The elevator was packed. I took the stairs. I climbed to the top floor. It was then I was aware of one of two possibilities. My car was either stolen or I was at the wrong garage. Some expletives, a flight of stairs downward, a walk across the street, and a flight of stairs upward later, I was finally at my car. I drove home and went to bed, knowing that I had one of the best times I've ever experienced. Now, as I sit here sipping coffee from the mug that Ric Flair drank from, I want to say thanks to all the people that helped make this weekend fun, were with me in spirit, and I wish all of you a good day.