My TV Names

Nothing too heavy, just fun filler. Here are my new names for television programs.

Real Name/My Name

24/ Jack Bauer's Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day or Kiefer Sutherland Presents the Hourly Plot Twist!- Seriously, no one has a worse day than Jack Bauer...NO ONE. Every time I have a bad day, I can always say, "Well, at least I'm not Jack Bauer." I think that's why the show is so popular. It makes others feel good about their lives.

The Shield/Malicious Mackey and his Band of Brigands! or Crime Isn't Just for Criminals- Michael Chiklis is the man. It's a great show about cops...dirty cops! Seriously, there isn't another show on television that screams "How's he getting out of this one?" without it becoming comical.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia/Welcome Back, Seinfeld- The only show on television that makes Seinfeld comparisons without overtly coping Seinfeld.

The Office/Yes, Improv Can Be Funny on Television- The best network comedy on TV is also the most loosely written. It's refreshing to see a TV executive say "Hey, instead of focusing on funny lines being delivered by actors, let's let funny actors deliver lines."

The Amazing Screw-On Head/A Show So Good It Will Be Cancelled Within 3 Years Due to the Network "Not Getting It"- Check it out here:
http://www.scifi.com/amazingscrewonhead/

Arrested Development/Seriously, FOX, You Lost Your Best Sitcom in Years- I'm still pissed that this was cancelled. Cinema verite, no laugh track, and the best running gags involving Carl Weathers and FOX still cancelled it. Haven't you learn anything from Family Guy?

The Simpsons/Seriously, How is a Cartoon Almost as Old as Me? or The Little Prime Time Animated Show That Could...and Did- The Simpsons have been on for so long I have little memory of my life prior to the Simpsons airing. While it has gotten goofier than normal, it's still one of the funnier things on TV.

Family Guy/I Hope You Know Pop Culture- I love the show, but most of the humor won't be funny if you woke up from a coma that you've had since 1985.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/Just as Fake as Real News- It's a funny program and informative, but it's frightening to think that most people get their real news from a comedy program.

NBC Nightly News or CNN or Fox News/The Propaganda Report- Just say what happened. No slant, no bias, no commentary. That's all I want. I'd like American News like BBC news: boring, not flashy, just informative. But what about ratings? Tough crap. I'm tired of looking at mindless teleprompter readers either trying to scare the crap out of me over controlled concerns or desperately trying to make me excited about a celebrity's birthday.

Grey's Anatomy/Sex in a Hospital...The Show- At work aren't doctors supposed to help the sick and wait for nookie for after they clock out?

Anything on Nick Jr./Babysitter for Wayward Parents- That's an uncalled-for slam since some of the programs help children learn and read, but it's still no substitute for parents teaching children.

American Idol/Syrupy Songs with Amateurs Hour- Despite my distain for A.I., I'm not suprised that more people vote for that show than in elections.

WWE RAW/Crappy Comedy, Cheesy Drama, and...Oh, Yeah Wrestling- C'mon, it's not too difficult to understand that people expect wrestling on a wrestling show.

SNL/Is It Funny Again?- Seriously, is it funny again?

Metalocalypse/Nathan Explosion's Heavy Comedy- Can Metal music be funny? Short answer is yes.

The O.C./Angsty Teens with Too Much Money- I know some people like it (like my sister, Rachel), but it's the same as 90210, but with even more money...and those teens in Beverly Hills were rich!

Boston Legal/Mr. Shatner's Courtroom- Bill Shatner in a court setting can't be anything but Shatastic (which is good).

According to Jim/What's According to Jim? or Seriously, What's According to Jim?- This show has been on for years and I keep wondering why.

Fear Factor/Eat Weird Things for Money!- Seriously, it might be gross but when did being disgusted get confused with being afraid?

That's it for today.