Reflection

2007 has been a long, weird year. A lot can happen in just one short year. Here's a few things off the top of my head:
- I turned 24 years old.
- One of my heroes killed his family and then himself (still bothered by that one).
- I debuted as a stand-up comic.
- I bonded and got closer with a lot of cool people in Cincinnati, many of which will be friendships I'll keep throughout my life.
- The members of what became known as US for WE celebrated one full year of wrestling watching.
- I quit my job helping the mentally ill and gave the building the middle finger.
- I moved to Florida.
- I got paid to do what I earned my degree in (a paltry sum, but it's money).
- I went to two weddings featuring four friends.
- I discovered the wonders of "24" (Thanks, Ed.) and "Heroes" (Thanks, Eric Lawshe)
- Watched I Pity the Fool (Best Reality TV Show EVER!)
- My goddaughter turned two years old.
- I had a heartfelt goodbye with three of my clients, one of which I don't think will live to see 2008.
- I threw away, gave away, or sold half of my possessions.
- I went to Hooters for the first time (the food sucks).
- I got to spend time and get to know my aunt, uncle, and grandparents.
- I spent my first Christmas away from my family.
- I found a cool girl that will hopefully evolve into a special someone.
- My sister graduated from college (good luck, Rach).
- I got drunk for the very first time and haven't gotten drunk since.
- I did audio comedy with a good friend. Sodie Pop Junkshun Go! (Or however we spelled it, Tommy).
- My college roommate celebrated the birth of his first child.
- I said goodbye to the only good part of Cincinnati: my friends.
- I became a huge supporter of UFC's Forrest Griffin.
- Matt Hill introduced me to Mt. Carmel Stout (Best Beer Ever).
- I had the privilege to celebrate the second annual Valhalladay.
- I ate turkey on Thanksgiving for the first time in three years.
- I emailed my college friends nearly monthly.
- I suffered the deepest depression spell in my life...thus far.
- I took a huge step in achieving my kooky dreams.
There's more than that I'm sure, but it's the most I could come with. 2008 will be a new year with new beginnings. I just hope I can make progress and achieve the goals set out for me in a shorter timespan. Happy New Year to All!

Finding a Church (Church names have been omitted to protect me from getting sued/damned to Hell)

So moving to Florida and all that rot means that I need to find a new church in order to get connected with some cool people like I did in Cincy and find a place to pray and worship with others. This should be fun...ugh.
What can I say? I'm picky when it comes to churches. If I can't be myself or put myself in a place where I can worship freely and learn, then I have no interest. So far my church hunt hasn't been going too well.
First, I went to a church that my grandparents thought I might be interested in. Since I was a visitor, I was given a name tag. Sigh. I hate name tags. Quite honestly, I feel uncomfortable when it is directly pointed out that I'm the new guy. All these strangers look at my chest and say, "Good morning, Erik!" when all I can respond with is "...hi." because they don't have nametags.
Then a parishoner gave me a tour of a church when I told her politely "No, thank you, I'm just here for the service." There was a bookstore, but it wasn't like the bookstore at UCC back in Cincinnati. I didn't expect it to be the same as in Ohio, but I expected a bit more than a showcase for Rick Warren and a Jesus-based, Dr. Seuss-esque children's book.
The service was a typical contemporary service with the typical contemporary songs that contain the words "Jesus," "God," "Holy," and "Love" repeatedly, but in different order. That's when the Christian clowns showed up. No, that is not a typo. I'm just going to be vague and leave it at that. The pastor's message that Sunday was...actually, I don't remember it. I was distracted by the clowns. Needless to say, I'm not coming back.
The next week, I went to a church that was literally across the street from the University of Central Florida's basketball arena, so I figured that they might have a Bible study or ministry focused on people in their 20's. I walked in and on my left was the entrance to the sanctuary. On my right, there was a series of classrooms with ages listed on the top. "Ages 0-18 months," "Ages 1-3," "Ages 4-6," "Ages 7-12," "Ages 13-17," "Adult Study," and "Seniors Study." Two questions: 1. Why two separate rooms for babies? and 2. If you are in the middle of a college campus, wouldn't it make sense to have a study for students?
Shaking off those queries, I walked into the sanctuary. I got a bulletin. Teen ministries, children ministries, senior ministries, men's ministries, women's ministries, couples' ministries, married ministries, and parents' ministries were listed. The only thing that was missing was clown ministries...and ministries for single people in their 20's. I can't be the only one in Florida, right? Anyway, I went in and sat down.
The sanctuary looked like the set of MTV Unplugged, only with electrical instruments and even worse music. The message wasn't better either. It wasn't really a sermon but more of a rant with the pastor basically stating, "Seriously, guys, the Bible is real! The Da Vinci Code is lying!" Yeah, he brought up the Da Vinci Code...also Harry Potter for reasons I am still trying to figure out. Look, I'm not picking on the preacher because I'm not a fundamentalist, but the sermon wasn't a sermon. There was no message to take home to chew on and ponder...hell, there wasn't even any scripture to reflect upon! It was just one half of a tired debate. Well, I'm 2 for 2.
This morning after work, I tried out this church downtown. I at least saw people my age, so I might come back. I wasn't totally turned off by the music, but it wasn't my bag to begin with anyway. I have to start a church that sings hard rock or metal and allows screaming. I wasn't sure what to make of the message. The pastor was either talking about us all going to hell because we as a culture focused more on Anna Nicole Smith's paternity debacle than on the Iraq War or that we were saved through grace because we walked the road less traveled like the Robert Frost poem, I'm not sure which. He did insert a Calvin and Hobbes quote in as well so I'm going to give him a second chance. I might come back, but with some reservations.
I'm still going to look around for other possibilities, but it's difficult and frustrating to find a church home. I've always said that the only good part of me being in Cincinnati was finding UCC and making great friends from there. I don't want God to put lightning in a bottle again because nothing can replace or replicate the special bonds I made from UCC, but if He could put a tornado or some other natural phenomenon in a bottle or glass jar, I would be blessed once again.

Random Lists About Me That You'll Read About When You Are Online and Bored

Songs I'd Make Love To (Ladies don't get that scared)

- Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

- Give My Love to Rose- Johnny Cash

- Dragula- Rob Zombie

- With a Wonder and Wild Desire- Flogging Molly

- Battlestar Scratchactica- Incubus

- To Peace- Submersed

- Ace of Spades- Motorhead

- She is Beautiful- Andrew W.K.

- Angel- Jimi Hendrix

- Let's Get It On- Marvin Gaye

- Rain- Breaking Benjamin

- Lightness- Death Cab for Cutie

- Out Loud- Dispatch

- Little Wing- Jimi Hendrix

- I Can't Quit You, Baby- Led Zepplin

- Somewhere Out There- Our Lady Peace

- Are You Ready?- Rollins Band

- Can't Get Enough of Your Love- Barry White

- Illumination- Rollins Band



Websites I Check Out Regularly That Have Nothing to Do with News, Email, Facebook, MySpace, etc.

- http://www.superdickery.com/ - A website that features real life comics featuring stupid superpowers in comics, accidental (?) suggestive poses by superheroes in comics, monkey related material, and situations in which Superman is just being a dick.

- http://www.newgrounds.com/ - Random cartoons and videos made by people like you and me.

- http://www.cinemassacre.com/ - A personal site of James Rolfe, aspiring filmmaker, and widely known as his alternative persona The Angry Video Game Nerd, a nerd that retro-views crappy videogames from your childhood.

- www.wrestlecrap.com - A pro wrestling site featuring the worst in pro wrestling. Funny looks at crappy wrestling characters (The Gobbledy Gooker, a wrestler in a turkey costume), wrestling storylines (Robocop helping wrestler Sting beat up the bad guys, and merchandise (Talking The Rock Soap on a Rope). And no, they aren't making this up.

- www.retrojunk.com - What was the name of that one Silverhawk that played the guitar? Go to this site for that answer along with videos of TV shows and ads from the 80's.

- www.jumptheshark.com - What the was pinnacle of your favorite TV series before it fell down to mediocrity or cancellation? Find out and debate on this site.

- www.engrish.com - View actual items from Japan that totally butcher the English language with hilarious results.

- www.emotioneric.com - Watch Eric convey various emotions from Happy to Sassy to Smarmy to Staring at your hands the way people do in movies when they've just killed their first person.

Favorite Anime

-Naruto- The story of a plucky ninja with a fox demon caged within him. Awesome ninja fights, slow burning plot, and multiple three dimensional side characters.

-Cowboy Bebop- A space western featuring jazzy music and bounty hunters.

-Samurai Champloo- A hip-hop samurai quest with a bum, an uptight ronin, and a girl searching for a samurai that smells of sunflowers.

- Trigun- Western with gunfights, steampowered robotics, and a gunman that leaves unintentional carnage in his wake.

- Full Metal Alchemist- A story featuring a small hero who uses alchemy along with his robotic arm and leg with his brother whose soul is housed within a suit of armor. A story about the ugly nature of playing God and the ugly cost of desire.

Sports I Want to See on Primetime American Television

- Murderball- Wheelchair bound athletes ramming into each other in a soccer atmosphere.

- Chessboxing- 6 rounds of chess with 5 rounds of boxing in between. A knockout or checkmate wins it all.

- Wife Carrying- it explains itself.

- Dodgeball- I know it had a show on the Game Show Network, but I want to see it on network.

Hopefully, a real blog next time.

Simpsons Fanboy Blogpost Go!

It's a show that I literally grew up with and still grow up with to this day. I have been and still am a huge fan of the Simpsons. I consider the show to be one of my strongest comedic influences alongside any stand-up comic that I can name. It's one of the longest running shows on network TV and was just renewed for a 19th season. However, this upcoming Friday another notch on the ever expanding belt of the Simpsons will be made when the Simpsons movie, cleverly titled The Simpsons Movie, premieres in theaters.

In honor of the movie, I've been giving myself an ongoing Simpsons Marathon featuring my DVDs of the series whenever I'm at home. In fact, disc three of season 8 is playing on my DVD player as I am writing this blog. I also wish to share with you my personal top ten favorite Simpsons episodes along with my top ten favorite Simpsons characters.

Top Ten Favorite Episodes

10. "Dead Putting Society"- Season 2, Episode 6- This episode features Bart playing in a mini-golf tournament against Todd Flanders with Homer making a bet with Ned Flanders. This episode had plenty of humor, especially Homer's hatred of Ned's good-natured good fortune. I also enjoyed the Karate Kid-esque training.

9. "Homer the Heretic"- Season 4, Episode 3- Homer stays home instead of going to church and proceeds to make his own religion around it. I really like this episode because while its entertaining and funny, it also explains the importance of the role of faith in society and life.

8. "The Principal and the Pauper"- Season 9, Episode 2- It is revealed that Principal Skinner isn't really Principal Skinner at all, but apparently a reformed street punk named Armin Tamzarian. This episode is over the top and greatly displays humanity's fears of change or alteration of the familiar. Never underestimate the power of mass denial.

7- "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)"- Season 11, Episode 5- While this episode isn't thought-provoking, it's fun. Homer is able to create a hybrid of tomatoes and tobacco known as tomacco. The highly addictive veggie leads to hilarious results.

6- "Maximum Homerdrive"- Season 10, Episode 17- After losing a steak-eating contest to a trucker that dies immediately after winning, Homer vows to take the trucker's rig and make his delivery along with Bart. Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa are tormented by a novelty doorbell that plays the Carpenters' "(They Long to Be) Close to You." This show was funny especially when Homer confuses the trucker with steak eating actor Tony Randall.

5- "The Last Temptation of Homer"- Season 5, Episode 9- After some struggle in his marriage, Homer meets a female coworker that relates to Homer in almost every way. Homer constantly struggles with his fidelity when the two are chosen to represent the nuclear plant at a convention. I like this episode because it shows what most affairs are: a bad action done between two usually good people. It also shows Homer loves Marge purely and truly, despite of and because of the differences between them.

4- "Raging Abe Simpson and his Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish'"- Season 7, Episode 22- In this episode, Grandpa Simpson and Bart go on a quest to search for buried artwork that Grandpa and his WWII unit, The Flying Hellfish, stole from the Nazis. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns, also a Hellfish, tries to thwart them and take the paintings for himself. This episode is funny and shows a side of Grandpa that had previously never been shown before.

3- "22 Short Films About Springfield"- Season 7, Episode 21- This episode is good because it features nearly every single character from the Simpsons in one way or another inserting them in a bunch of different comedic shorts.

2- "Marge vs. the Monorail"-Season 4, Episode 12- This is frequently featured on my many top ten lists and rightfully so. It was written by a guy that's going to replace Jay Leno in 2009 by the name of Conan O'Brien. O'Brien's dada-esque, idiot-humor show through in this episode, in which Springfield is conned into building a monorail with disasterous results. There is also a great deadpan performance by Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy.

1- "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment"- Season 8, Episode 18- My favorite episode is the one most people refer to as the "Beer Baron Episode." Springfield enforces a long disregarded prohibition law after Bart accidentally gets drunk during a St. Patrick's Day parade. Homer becomes a bootlegger to much joy of Springfield's inebriated, but is constantly on the run from newly appointed chief of police, Rex Banner. This episode is funny and makes several references to the show and film "The Untouchables" with Dave Thomas's brilliant performance of the Elliot Ness wannabe.

Top Ten Favorite Simpsons Characters

10- Apu Nahasapeemapetilon- This character turned from a stereotype into the most rounded character that isn't a Simpson family member. The character has been under fire in the past because of the jokes about his ethnicity and religion, however in later episodes Apu's culture and Hindu faith have been frequently featured in an educational and favorable light. To my knowledge, there is no other recurring Middle Eastern character in an American series that isn't a terrorist.

9- Hans Moleman- Moleman amuses me due to his elderly nature and always being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't know how many times his life was endangered and no one caring to help him.

8- Troy McClure- You might have recognized him from such events as "Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory," "Andre the Giant: We Hardly Knew Ye," and "Let's Save Tony Orlando's House." Troy McClure seems to steal every scene he is featured in thanks to the great comedic performance of the late Phil Hartman.

7- Barney Gumble- Simpsons took what was originally the typical town drunk and made him more three dimensional with having a backstory behind his drinking and even having him become sober with various relapses.

6- Disco Stu- Yeah, he's one dimensional, but he has made me laugh every time I've seen him.

5- Groundskeeper Willie- The surly Scotsman makes me laugh with his angry voice and various nonsensical insults.

4- Seymour Skinner- I love the fact that the writers gave this character a vast history that explains a good chunk of his behaviors and his personality. Let's look at his traits: He's bitter and tortured about his tour during the Vietnam War, he's a mama's boy, he is straight-laced, he's awkward around women (just ask Mrs. Krabappel), and he's Bart's best nemesis. In any other show, they would have just made five separate characters based on those traits instead of fleshing out one great one.

3- Comic Book Guy- I'm a comic nerd and for the life of me this character is the true to life. Every comic store, EVERY COMIC STORE, has someone that looks and sounds just like Comic Book Guy right down to the elitist sarcasm. The best part about it is that the comic book guys of the real world are totally oblivious to the fact that they are just like Comic Book Guy.

2.- Ralph Wiggum- There is never a scene in which Ralph doesn't make me laugh. There doesn't need to be any other reason.

1- Charles Montgomery Burns- The evil billionaire is hilarious in his megolomaniac schemes and his old-timey, out-of-touch references. You hate him and yet there are many moments that you root for him. It's good to be Monty Burns.

That's all I got for tonight. I'll keep watching the show and I'll see you at the theater.

More Dream Stuff

Continuation from previous blog.

The Erik Barnes Memorial Library

The Bible
Book of the Five Rings
The Art of War
The Hagakure
All books/graphic novels written by the following authors:
Dr. Seuss
Chuck Pahluniak
Brian Michael Bendis
Brian K. Vaughn
Alan Moore
Neil Gaiman
J.R.R. Tolkien
C.S. Lewis
Edgar Allan Poe
Thomas Merton
Diedrich Bonhoffer
Warren Ellis
Garth Ennis
Brad Meltzer
Donald Miller
Marcus Borg
Robert Kirkman
Frank Miller
Mark Millar
Grant Morrison
Frank McCourt
Anne Rice
Shel Silvestein
Mick Foley
Ed Brubaker
Jon Stewart

Time Traveling Adventures of Wilkinson Malloy! (Barnes' Dream Sitcom)

directed by Erik Barnes
written by the writing team of Conan O'Brien, Larry David, Tina Fey, Erik Barnes, Lewis Black, Dave Chappelle, and Patton Oswalt
starring
Bruce Campbell as Wilkinson Malloy (the garbageman who stumbles upon a time machine)
Jenna Fischer as Mary Till (Malloy's niece and confidant)
Jason Lee as Frankie Roberts (Mary's boyfriend and annoys Malloy)
Dave Chappelle as Roger McDougal (Malloy's best friend and coworker, struggling comedian)
Creed Bratton as Dr. Hugh Von Brinderbranden (the inventor of the time machine)
and Wilford Brimley as Teddy Roosevelt (26th President of the United States and consistently assists Malloy in his adventures in time travel)

The Justice Alliance
(Barnes' Dream Superhero Team. To set a limit no more than 12 members)

Batman
Psylocke
Martian Manhunter
Green Arrow
Jack Hawksmoor
Black Adam
Beast
Hellboy
Kitty Pryde
Witchblade
Green Lantern
Daredevil

My Dream (Insert Here)

Nothing new. Just putzing, working, selling stuff, and getting prepared for the move. But I thought I'd sit back and think what my dream events would be:

Barnesamania (Dream Wrestling Pay-Per-View featuring wrestlers in their prime)

Samoa Joe vs. Chris Jericho (2 out of 3 falls)
Kurt Angle vs. Kenta Kobashi (60 minute Iron Man Match)
AJ Styles vs. Eddie Guerrero
Christopher Daniels vs. Bret Hart
Brian Danielson vs. Owen Hart
Team 3D vs. The Road Warriors
Booker T vs. Colt Cabana
The Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Ultimo Dragon vs. Petey Williams vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Shark Boy
CM Punk vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat
The Hardys vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London
William Regal vs. Senshi (Submission only)


Barnesapalooza (Dream Music Festival)

Lordi
Social Distortion
Clutch
Rage Against the Machine
System of a Down
Incubus
Rollins Band
Led Zepplin
Matisyahu
Pink Floyd


Barnesayuk-yuks (Dream Stand-up Comedy Show)

Me (Hey, it's my dream show, I should be able to open the festivities)
Mitch Hedberg
Dave Chappelle
Patton Oswalt
Christopher Titus
Eugene Mirman
The Kids in the Hall
Brian Posehn
Bill Cosby
Jerry Seinfeld
Lewis Black


The Barnes Network (My own television network with shows that are currently on air/in syndication)


The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
The Shield
Rescue Me
Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends
WWE RAW
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!
ECW
Dead Like Me
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
The Office
The Simpsons
Family Guy
Seinfeld
24
Futurama
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
TNA Impact!
South Park
Robot Chicken
The Venture Brothers
The Boondocks
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Metalocalypse
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Mythbusters
Man vs. Wild
Naruto


Barnes Best Movie Ever (The Title)

directed by the Coen Brothers
written by Erik Barnes
starring
Tom Hanks
Jack Nicholson
Julia Stiles
Chuck Norris
Christopher Walken
Wilford Brimly
Keira Knightly
Morgan Freeman
Nathan Fillion
Jason Statham
Alan Rickman
Natalie Portman
Ed Asner
Jackie Chan
Sean Connery
Will Ferrell
Christian Bale
Patrick Stewart
Reese Witherspoon
Michael Caine
Amy Smart
Dennis Haysbert
Ving Rhames
Walter Matthau
and Samuel L. Jackson as Wilson "Shoot the Bastard!" Tibbons

Feast of the Barnes (My Dream Meal)

Appetizer: A mix of sweet BBQ, terryaki, and peanut sauce covered chicken wings with a small plate of chili cheese fries with a glass of IBC Cream Soda

Main Entree: Lightly seasoned and marinated 16 oz steak with a fat lobster tail
Sides: A small bowl of pasta with scallops and shrimp with marinara and parmesan cheese.
A small plate of steamed vegetables (broccoli, carrots, green beans, etc.)
A personal pan pizza with grilled chicken, bacon, green pepper, and red pepper toppings.
Beverage: 2 liters of Mount Caramel Ale

Dessert: A wedge of triple chocolate cake with a scoop of cookies and cream ice cream with a chocolate chip cookie inserted into the ice cream.

After Dinner: A glass of blackberry wine, three fingers of Makers Mark, a stein of Ragnar's Reserve mead, and a Romeo Y Julieta cigar.

Just thought I'd share. A real entry sometime soon or after the move.

Death of a...Hero?

I remember seeing him in 1995 on WCW Saturday Night. This is back when WCW could deliver a good wrestling show. I don't remember who his opponent was, some jobber, but I can't forget the first thing I saw: his tights. Chris Benoit was wearing long tights with a huge, blocky star on the back of them. They looked very generic and very bland. The wrestler that wore them didn't look like anything special. Hell, he looked small and pale. Then he wrestled. That's when I became a fan of Chris Benoit.
Not to sound braggy, but I was fan of Chris Benoit before most internet fans of wrestling caught on the wave. He could fly. He could stretch. He could bump. He could sell. The only thing he couldn't do was talk well on the mic, however his wrestling and his matches would speak more about him than any of his words could.
I first started watching wrestling when I was ten years old and have been totally hooked ever since. Sure, there are plenty of things that I don't like about it, but I still love it just the same. Ever since I was ten, I thought of becoming a pro wrestler. It never went away totally, but I still thought in the back of my head that it was a child's ambition. On January 19, 2003, the Royal Rumble of that year, I saw Chris Benoit wrestle Kurt Angle for the WWE title. It was a great match, full of great holds and, for lack of a better term, drama. It was that night, after watching Benoit wrestle, lose, and given a well-deserved standing ovation, that I made the firm decision to train seriously and become a pro wrestler.
I have had some setbacks since my past wrestling school didn't fufill the training that I need along with having a hectic schedule to work out. However, the fire still burns and I will go out and train again once I relocate. After all, I hoped to one day wrestle and then meet Chris Benoit. I needed to tell him that he was the one that inspired me to try and his career was one to emulate and look to in order to keep me going during the hard times. I wanted to shake his hand and say "thank you."
Late yesterday, it was reported that Chris Benoit, along with his son and wife, were dead. Today, it's been discovered and reported that Benoit strangled his wife, smothered his son with a bag, and then hung himself. I was and still am in shock. Toxiology and autopsy reports are still pending.
I don't know how to feel right now. My hero is dead in more ways than mortality. What could have gone through his mind? Was he under the influence of drugs? Did he have a severe depression? Was he and/or his family suffering from some ailment before this tragedy occured? Is this truly a crime with malice in mind or a crime of some sick, unstable love in his heart? How does one react when a person's hero is a murderer? Can a person's years of love and goodness towards his peers, his fans, and his friends be totally revoked by a weekend of pure evil?
I guess that's my fault. I decided to put a human on a pedestal. When will I learn that I will ultimately be disappointed and hurt by everyone? Why don't I get that it is foolish to be inspired by anything that has free will?
My mother was able to put things into perspective. She told to remember and cherish the goodness of this man's life; that Chris Benoit's recent actions did not make his past inspiration to me less valid. I pray and send my condolences to the extend families of Benoit and his wife, along with Benoit's two surviving children. I choose to keep Chris Benoit in a special place within me, but never forgetting that the real Chris Benoit, the one that so many were inspired by and accepted love from, died before the date written on his tombstone.

Finally, now some fun

Sorry for the lack of blogs. Combination of being busy and blogger not letting me into my account even though I had a gmail account can do that to a guy. Anyway, here's a fun game.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: Mortal Kombat Movie Soundtrack- Techno Syndrome (Mortal Kombat Movie Theme)

Waking Up: Metallica- Wherever I May Roam (from S&M)

First Day At School: Disturbed- Conflict

Falling In Love: Staple- Gavels from Gun Barrels

Fight Song: Rage Against the Machine- Bulls on Parade (how quaint)

Breaking Up: Switchfoot- Easier Than Love (huh…that’s creepy)

Prom: The Darkness- Givin’ Up

Sex Scene: Seether- 69 Tea (no comment here)

Life's Ok: Godsmack - Bad Religion (Wow, my life is still angry when it’s okay.)

Mental Breakdown: Unwritten Law- Up All Night

Driving: Eric Clapton - Who Do You Love?

Flashback: Tool- Lateralus

Getting Back Together: Stabbing Westward- Crushing Me (So I’m depressed that we’re together?)

Birth of Child: Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack- TANK! (if you know this song, then you’d laugh)

Wedding: Korn- Blind (man, when it comes to love my soundtrack is pretty dark)

Final Battle: Rage Against the Machine- Calm Like a Bomb (quaint again)

Death Scene: Gov’t Mule- My Separate Reality (appropriate)

Funeral: Weezer- Crab

End Credits: Powerman 5000- Nobody’s Real

By the looks of my soundtrack, my life movie seems to be an experimental indie film that makes no money but is shown on IFC at 3:00am on Thursdays. Show me what your soundtrack is like.

Wife?

If God were to bless me with having a wife, here are some things I shouldn't be suprised to hear from her:
- Honey, come to bed and watch Conan with me.
- Can we get tickets to Wrestlemania?
- I disagree, sweetie, I think Daredevil is a better hero than Batman.
- Baby, let's take Tae Kwon Do class together.
- This will look great with your action figures.
- (After love making) Wanna order a pizza?
- How about we go to Best Buy after going to the gym?
- Ugh. I hate country. Put on Clutch.
- I'll have a Warsteiner.
- I told you, as soon as we're done balancing the checkbook, we can watch Simpsons and Family Guy!
- Chris Masters is a terrible worker with no mic skills.
- Can I borrow that Chuck Paluhniuk book when you're done?
- Crap! They sold out on Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie tickets!
- I got pissed so I put on a Lewis Black CD to laugh and cheer me up.
- (Most important) I love you.

Religiously Searching for My Faith's Contact Lenses

I was bored and reading up on some of my friends' blogs, since it's been a few weeks. I was looking at my good friend Tommy's blog in which he was talking about how people are ashamed of having labels, along with talking about how it seems like being Baptist or a "fundamentalist" is like a curse word along, same with being Republican. He also spoke on how it's a misnomer of saying "Religion Kills" because of the positive points of religion are being clouded and overshadowed by the negative points. He also spoke about how doubting or not being labeled is a cool thing to do nowadays and spoke on how the "old ways" are being scoffed at by "new ways" because they are old, not because they are ineffective or irrelevant. I agree with most of this, except something struck a nerve with me. Tommy ended a paragraph stating "Are we forgetting the differences between moral relativism and absolute truth?" Need a reference? Read his blog for Dec. 5, 2006 entitled Back from the Dead at http://metaldrummer26.livejournal.com/

Done reading? Let's start with what I agree with Mr. Stewart. For the most part, I agree with a good chunk of Tommy's argument on the "Relgion Kills" statement. However, my view on "Religion Kills" differs from what Mr. Stewart interprets. Since the English language is too limited, I think another purpose behind the "Religion Kills" statement is more to awaken those who are walking through the practice, not the message; doing something because the church says so and doing it blindly, instead of finding and knowing the reason why you think/believe/act and doing what you think/believe/act. If what you think/believe/act happens according to the church, whether by coincidence or learned knowledge from it, that's great. But if you are taking communion because that's what you do before the service is over and that you do it because that's what you do at church, then there's an issue.
I do agree with the whole be proud of your label thing. As humans, we have no choice but to use labels. And being a non-label is a label in it of itself (i.e. Non-denominational is a denomination). I think the trouble is that there aren't enough labels to fully describe what you think/believe. For example, I can say that I'm a wrestling fan, but it doesn't explain my philosophy and feelings on it fully. When I say I'm a wrestling fan, there are the inevitable connections to low intelligence/NASCAR fandom. I then have to say that I'm a college educated wrestling fan...then inevitably a college educated wrestling fan that reads philosophy, etc. See? So maybe people need to pierce further into a person or politician more than just seeing a blue or red background behind his or her name.

However, I feel like I should explain why I'm not a fundamentalist because the whole moral relativism vs. absolute truth argument. The reason why I'm not a fundamentalist isn't because I'm all about "everything's okay" or post-modern thought which I believe Mr. Stewart is making reference to. I'm not a fundamentalist because after my personal research/walk/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, I cannot think the Bible to be totally fact and God breathed. Mind you, I'm still reading and learning, so I don't remain totally, stubbornly firm in my stance. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter if I think the story of Adam and Eve was a metaphor and you think it's fact when we both get the same message out of it?
But does being a non-fundamentalist mean that I'm morally opaque? No! Killing? Wrong! Stealing? Wrong! Raping? Of course it's wrong! Obviously there are some more controversial things to take a stance on such as abortion or pre-marital abstinance in which tradition states that they are morally wrong. I have nothing against tradition, however I am against doing it for tradition's sake. That's one of the reasons why Jesus had to come down in the first place, because everyone focused on the traditions rather than the point behind them. Side note: Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not condoning abortion or pre-marital sex, so set the volume of your objections to the statement to a low hum than booming whoop .
In terms of absolute truth, it's not that I don't think that there is an absolute truth. I just am weary to believe that we have found it, at least fully. It's true we as Christians were blind but now can see, but that doesn't mean that we have full 20/20 vision. Man's pride doesn't wear his glasses when he should all the time. There is still more to learn, more to explore. While we get a better glimpse, I don't think God is fully enclosed in a book (or in truth, a series of books and letters bounded together). If you are fundamentalist, that's fine. I can understand that. However, don't think that those who aren't fundamentalists are skeptic because it's the cool thing to do or resented traditional church in their youth. The main truth is Christ came and died for our benefit. That's enough for me. Is it enough for you?

P.S. Thanks, Tommy. I appreciate your firm stance and excellent thoughts that make me sit, reflect, test, and question my own ideas.